^banned because you consumed too much opium of the people.

Banned for consuming too many bath salts.

Banned for bathing in salt, you can just do that in the ocean.

Banned because I'm salty about my game being stuck on the loading screen.

And the company that released it doesn't have an email for tech support. Just a list of trouble shooting problems (mine isn't on that list BTW). FML

^ banned for buying from fly-by-night companies

^banned for stealing Air Force One

^ banned because Marine One is much more fun!

^banned because it is better the djinn grants me three wishes than just one.

^ banned for not being extremely careful about the precise phraseology of your wish

^ Banned for openly rubbing the lamps of others with a hopeful glint in his eye.

^ banned for leaving fresh cow pies inside the muck boots of thy neighbor

Banned for confusing cow pies with Moon Pies, causing disastrous results.

Banned for suggesting that there's anything wrong with a company owned by Rush, and thus implicitly confusing Rush with Bad Company.

Banned for misinterpreting the instruction of "Clean the cow pat!" as "Clean the cow, Pat." When seeking clarification, for his name was not Pat but is indeed HeresMyAccount, Farmer John emphasised, "Clean the cow- PAT".
He again couldn't follow simple instructions and instead regarded it as meaning "Clean the cow.[then] PAT[it]"

^ Paid me to let him watch me clean the cow and then pat it.

^ banned for using your tongue to clean the cow