Banned for using a gun to break open walnuts.

Banned for not specifying the make and model of gun, whether the ammuntion used was soft-point or full metal jacket, and whether or not the walnuts had been roasted first.

Banned, because nobody cares about such details except dangerous gun nuts who might shoot up the forum, and we can't risk that.

Banned because you appear like your own pets. Are you trying to deceive them...or you got eaten by one of them and thus became one with your pet?

Banned for living in a petting zoo.

Banned, because I encourage people here to pet my komodo dragons...don't worry, they won't bite you, no danger at all, so you can come really close, hehe...

Banned for tricking people into being eaten.

Banned for not knowing how infectious the bite of a Komodo Dragon truly is

Banned because Komodo dragons can't see very well and are (relatively) easy to evade; plus, i heard from very reliable sources, that the most dangerous protected species at the moment is: Pangolin and Asian bats!

Banned because I fell in to a cave and saw a bunch of pangolins. I am now a vigilante called...Pangolin Man!

Banned and fast at that, on the double; contact with the agents of the pandemic is strictly prohibited at all costs, all subjects without exception must be quarantined on spot, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY... ALERT!!!

banned for passing gas in a crowded elevator after eating Thai cuisine

That creepy, totally ineffective plus unreliable, dirty old man, accuses others of exactly what he does; banned not only for that, but because he also lit up a lighter, to turn that gas into explosive substance!

Banned for provoking a wizard who could destroy the entire forum with fireballs and other spells.

^ Banned for ruining the elements of surprise, shock, and awe