Posted April 03, 2014
Finished work for today and sitting on the terrace behind my house with my laptop in the spring sun. Spring hit hard the end of May in the Netherlands, with temperatures rising swiftly to plus 20 Celsius. Yesterday . Unlike most people, it takes me time to get used to the quickening warmth. I feel anxious mentally, when I can't put on the safety of a coat, coats are comforting. Yesterday was the first day I had to go out in a t-shirt because it was too hot for anything else and I felt really anxious and vulnerable. Comforted myself with some music on my mpr3-player, sunglasses and a brimmed hat.
Felt tempted to post in the 'Bitch about life in general'- thread yesterday, but I felt too tired and anxious for typing. Had a bad headache too from the warmth and the sun. But now that work is done and I'm relaxing in the garden, the anxiety because of the voyeuristic sun lessens and I write in the happy thread instead. Feeling a bit of the gladness people usually feel with warm sunny afternoons. Still, mental illness sucks with feeling very on edge with even the slightest noises: chirping birds, talking neighbours, a roaring machine somewhere, everything enters my brain so loudly. I've read somewhere that long-term use of anti-psychotics make the mind more instead of less over-sensitive to stimuli. But farmaceutical companies don't examine the long-term effects as it's not in their interests.
Sorry, I started bitching after all.
Felt tempted to post in the 'Bitch about life in general'- thread yesterday, but I felt too tired and anxious for typing. Had a bad headache too from the warmth and the sun. But now that work is done and I'm relaxing in the garden, the anxiety because of the voyeuristic sun lessens and I write in the happy thread instead. Feeling a bit of the gladness people usually feel with warm sunny afternoons. Still, mental illness sucks with feeling very on edge with even the slightest noises: chirping birds, talking neighbours, a roaring machine somewhere, everything enters my brain so loudly. I've read somewhere that long-term use of anti-psychotics make the mind more instead of less over-sensitive to stimuli. But farmaceutical companies don't examine the long-term effects as it's not in their interests.
Sorry, I started bitching after all.