I just arranged to pay the same every month for my electricity. It makes me happy because I have trouble with change and bureaucracy but did not have any anxiety issue while doing it.

spending my lunch break in my office bathroom to savor a joint and vigorous wank.

I am happy that my resolve served a purpose, making someone else happy. I couldn't help it, i was so moved... This stuff which i downloaded illegally before, benefited me so real and so much, that i HAD to thank and apologize to the person selling them as part of his own work. And instead of getting angry and preaching, that person even gifted me with everything he has ever written, to rid me of bad Karma, as he said. That was more than enough to make me hate piracy, once and for all. The compassion of that man... The benefit i got from his teachings... I regard traditions from your place sacred. I couldn't do anything else, or less, than an 180 points degree turn back to the ways of virtue and compassion. At least, concerning me and theft. The way to Zen is long, though, but i will try to do my best, that much i guarantee.

Got down and dirty whilst fixing my bathroom sink. Looked like a proper plumber too, hairy, sweaty and wearing a wife beater.

Basically needed a new clevis trap and then I went on to remove the massive clump of phlegm and hair form the vent line.

Was about as wide as a Toonie and as long as tall as a pill bottle.

Finally!!! I have concluded my initiation and partly completed my training! Today, at long last, i undertook the trial of the waterfall! And it was borderline successful! Meditation under a live, real, ice-cold waterfall, done! I begun with chi-kung exercise, then on to chi-gathering and went straight into a small, natural pond, upon which the waterfall came down crushing above me on my head and backside! I assumed Fudoza no kamae, sat down half buried in VERY frozen water (even if heat was exceptionally high around to the point that steams erupted from the whitened stones upon which the water flowed) and completed the full course of elemental meditation, the nine cuts and the cutting grid. Near the end though, my sorry ass was so frozen, i felt like my nuts dropped down, my teeth clacked incessantly, i forgot the proper charging of the mantra confusing japanese with sanskrit and forgot even the final 2 deities of Zen. Still, though, it was a success, i felt the energy empowerment down to the core and felt rejuvanated down to muscle and bone; when i woke up to get the hell out of the by then intolerable even for a second further freezing water hell, i was already feeling at least 5-10 years younger.

All this time a perverted old man with tatoos on arms and a group of 4 (half naked) girls (which were too afraid to enter the cold waters for swimming themselves, i might add) were watching me, probably captured me on mobile, too. Strange, though, because earlier when i was walking to ascend the mountain (to gather even more energy and prepare myself for the ritual), not even a single soul frequented that TERRIBLY wild road, full of dangerous nooks, crannies, rocks and slippery terrain. What the hell... At least they didn't interrupt my concentration.

I also didn't have a shihan to oversee me as master and give me a fighter's (nick)name, so i didn't invent one myself. I drank 4 gulps of water straight from the roaring waterfall, while silently contemplating the 4 divine beasts/guardians and i left.

Dammnit all though, i almost froze to death in there! Especially while sitting down to meditate and lower breath and pulse levels, from slow, concentrated breathing pattern. I can now see perfectly clear why asian masters call this a "trial". And why only martial artists, usually masters too, undertake it, at all. If it was any other to sit motionless for a full meditation course in that freaking natural fridge, i doubt they would get outside in the very same condition to the one they had been into, while first hopping in, like i (luckily) did.

Aside from the group of those fools, only signs of life in that faqing wilderness was a dead, decayed little snake and two frogs. What a goddamn godforsaken place, that one was... But i found what i was seeking, anyway.

I'd highly recommend reading/watching this TED talk on addiction. It mirrors my experiences with addiction.

i am driving a million miles today to visit my sister and her new baby Annabell! :) I'm super excited and bringing lots of gifts. that child is gonna be spoiled rotten.

The wife and I were driving around today, to look at a few properties up for sale and also to take a look at the land we bought a few years back. When we stopped at the land, one of the neighbors was outside. She waved, we waved back, and we made our way over.

They're in the mid-60s, and both are almost exclusively confined to electric wheelchairs. He has MS and she's got some other debilitation going on. Not Laziness Syndrome, but actual ailments. When we walked up, she was opening 40-pound bags of decorative rock to spread on a bit of landscaping that came in conjunction with an addition on their house. She's trying to do it from the chair so I opened up the rest of the bags and dumped the stone for her. A few minutes later she has her garden rake out and is leveling the stones.

He showed us around the addition. It's a wood shop, about 750 sf, that they had built because it was becoming a bit hazardous to get up and down to work in the basement shop. She's going to take over the basement for sewing, painting, and other crap. Anyway, really nice shop - I wish my business work space was that nice.

They were telling us about how they take care of the 3 acres of land (again, with limited mobility), deal with the house, do the woodworking and sewing stuff. Spent about two hours just shooting the bull in general. Really nice couple.

So I'm looking at these two mostly confined to wheel chairs and see how much stuff they do. Almost, but not quite, completely independent. Well shit, if they can do all of this stuff - with minimal help and without a lick of complaint - there isn't much of an excuse for us not to at least match that effort. A bit galvanized to take on some work projects that have been gathering dust for a long while now.

Cancer relapse avoided, it's just a wart, just a really nasty weird looking one.

The only problem now is everyone thinks I'm a witch, and of course, what do we do with witches?

That is good to hear. I am very glad to hear it was not a relapse.

*Goes to get some wood to burn the witch* :-)

The first chapter of Firefly.

Congrats, and be careful on driving :)

The only relapses allowed around here involve whiskey, vodka, scotch, rum, or beer. Cancer ist verboten.

Bugger that, I'm 35 days without the stuff. I am not going through that shit again.

And fuck cancer. That guy ruins every party.

Also I got back into the gym for the first time in a month and a half. Fuckin sobriety and depression and shit.

I need a drink.