monkeydelarge: So it's not enough, she deceived him, fucked up his life plan, wasted years of his life and resources. You also want the guy to go to prison and lose a lot of money(after already losing lots of money). That's nice. No empathy whatsoever for the guy but only empathy for the scam artist woman. White Knight, alert.
stryx: Assault is a criminal offense and not justified by being lied to. So yes, that guy deserves to be punished for it.
Yes, he deserves to be punished but they are both guilty of despicable behavior. She is not some innocent little girl.
0Grapher: If his wife was deeply in love with him I don't blame her. However, she took her chances and lied to him, so I don't pity her either.
Telika: Yup. Basically, that.
Also, fought a long time with a complete answer on smartphone, which apparently didn't get posted, so, in very very much shorter :
monkeydelarge: But love doesn't have anything do with calculation and social pressure when it comes to loving a human being.
Telika: Yes it does. The feeling itself is subject to convenience and calculation at various degrees of self-awareness.
Quick exemples :
- Is the love possible/impossible.
- Is the love mutual/unilateral.
- Is it a good time or a bad time in life for that.
- Are you/them already in a relationship or not.
- Do your friends/family support or criticize/discourage this love.
- Does the person correspond to the cultural preferences that you have internalized so far.
- Etc
Pride, social norms, current availability, trends, acquired tastes, many factors that play a role (of variable strength) in what make or doesn't make people attractive to each others, or candidates for serious sentimental involvement (that is, indulged love or not). Although modern love discourses and fictions mercifully downplay these elements.
monkeydelarge: Loving another human being also doesn't have anything to do with wanting a certain lifestyle too.
Telika: You bring it down to finances again, but I meant it in a more abstract way : sharing someone's mental/behavioural universe, in short.
Okay, you convinced me love is not pure of calculation and social pressure. But even if she lied to him because of her love for him, she still scammed him out his time and resources. Just for a different reason. You've only convinced me, people can do bad things to other people because of their love for other people. In the end, no matter if she lied because of her love for him or to get access to his resources, she is no innocent damsel in distress.
monkeydelarge: So what she did didn't affect him directly?
ET3D: It's really derailing this thread, but good trolling is hard to ignore. :) As Telika said, yes, it didn't affect him directly. She lied on this point, and that's certainly negative, but her previous sexual experience shouldn't negatively affect her marriage. People marry other people with previous sexual experience every day, and that fact by itself isn't a problem. It's the guy's perception of the issue that's a problem. If the guy divorced her purely because of that point, then certainly he is the one who fucked up his life.
Also, consider that he likely didn't marry her for no reason. She probably had some things going for her or he wouldn't have married her, be that looks, intelligence or whatever. So he won a desirable prize, and then threw it away because she didn't fit a particular concept that doesn't change how good for him she is.
Typical. Someone says something that makes you uncomfortable then it must be trolling, right? There are no excuses for her sneaky malevolent scam. Everyone should have the right to marry who they want to marry. Not some impostor. It is up to each man to decide who will make an acceptable wife for him, not you. If someone doesn't want to marry someone who is not a virgin, that is his or her right. And there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean he or she hates people who are not virgins, after all. Maybe he just doesn't want to catch any STDs? And a past of sexual promiscuity is a good indicator a person will be promiscuous in the future. And no man wants to be cheated on or divorced because his woman couldn't stand being a in monogamous relationship. Basically, you refuse to hold the woman accountable for her despicable behavior and you demonize the man only. Sounds fair? It's not fair. Such ignorance and brainwashing can not be defeated with my words alone unfortunately. You need to stop hating men and look at every person as a human being, no matter what kind of genitals they have.
