What do you mean by that: 'create an institution'? What for? What were you trying to achieve?

I say it again: you are not ever going to be able to change the way the world works or human nature. It doesn't matter how much money you made and poured into it. Even a billion dollars isn't going to change that. It sounds like you have spent a large amount of your time and money chasing something that was too ambitious.

Why are you trying to 'help companies'? Are they being run by close friends or family members? If you are doing something for them, which you are not ok with receiving nothing in return for (i.e. you are not running a charity), then you need to get something in writing. It's. That. Simple.

It sounds to me like you have spent a lot of your time and energy trying to help others who are not going to reciprocate. My suggestion is to perhaps stop worrying about other people for a while and focus on helping yourself.

"As with most things, taking the first step is usually the hardest."
>>i'm full of first steps, Winter. i'm tired of running in circles.

"Figuring out things takes time, especially when life gives you a kick in the teeth. It's normal."
>>it's not normal having to laugh with no teeth. it doesnt have to be like that. please, try to understand me.

"distrusting family/friends/other good people is the way to go"
>>it's easy, now. there's no one who cares.

"good people out there(here on GOG and IRL)..you just need to find them."
>>guys...?

"I guess it depends on what that things is....come up with what, if I may ask?"
>>solution. solutions. ways, attempts, i dont know*. see, how weird the whole thing sounds?
*anything else than the usual 'jesus loves you/look at the bright side of life' or any other white lie that keeps real solutions at bay.

I do not know if this is saying the same thing, but I strongly want you to regain your strength aDyingLight this is not a shameful situation because almost everyone goes through these struggles in life in different ways with one having it be more severe while others might easily overcome it, especially with the panic social media has caused. I just have a simple question which you do not have to answer and is not to bring you down or anyone down. You tried for many years your best and are asking what you can do today with the craziness today being broken. Why would you give up after trying for so long, as a common thing people say, you learn from your mistakes? You have experienced a long time facing mistakes and probably having to overcome them meaning you have knowledge of how come up with a solution even if you are helpless? What was your purpose for trying for so long to just finally give up? Life is always an obstacle and giving up is the easiest answer. You already battled and faced many things in life and have more knowledge of how to deal and face them. What was your purpose of pushing really hard and then give up after all your hard work? What do you believe you could start slowly to do to motivate yourself instead of bringing all of these negative things into your life that almost every person has? Yes, there is lack of trust, support. kindness in the world even in the past, however; these feelings are just a presence used make you feel like you have nothing left and feel hopeless. My advice for you of what you can do, is to start breaking those fears and hopeless thoughts about the world and start changing yourself, such as your thoughts and negative views with more positive things that will drive you to start acting and changing your life. When one develops these thoughts it is hard to do change since you see no changes, however; you have to keep going because otherwise, you of course will not see changes and then what is your purpose for trying before and then stopping? Do not forget, you do not have to answer these questions if you do not want to.

you should take a walk for a half an hour daily, and maybe get a dog
and talk to GamezRanker ,he is a cool dude

"I strongly want you to regain your strength"
>>i need a plan. anything else is fubar.

"not a shameful situation because almost everyone goes through these struggles in life"
>>not all the time, not in all areas at once, not wihtout people and resources all the time. it's far beyond reasonable, and i'm into this for far too long. i'm tired.

"the panic social media has caused."
>>it's not related at all. if anything, it's showing me everyone's more afraid of doing what they should. for their own sake, mainly. let alone for a friend or a stranger...

"Why would you give up after trying for so long...?"
>>thanks for being careful.
my honest answer, i don't know what else to try, and frankly it's being nonsensical to stay fighting in a world this shallow. see? i'm here, trying my best in finding reasons. i'm sorry for involving you all, the dying part of me keeps hoping for a miracle... but that's not how Life's being on me, for the last 14 years.

"What was your purpose for trying for so long to just finally give up?"
>>the complete lack of support or basic human conditions other than food and shelter depletes one's purpose, Jock. not for far too long. it's almost like being captive, my crime being trying to be helpful all of the times, silly as it sounds. reality is our perception of reality, please bear it in mind.

"Life is always an obstacle and giving up is the easiest answer."
>>no, it's not. at this point, it's being the only viable, meaningful answer. it's becoming pointless, see? a pointless silly maddening suffering.

"What was your purpose of pushing really hard and then give up after all your hard work?"
>>honestly? it's something i'll leave for other to answer, after they seeing everything i tried to do in order to fix stuff up, mainly for the greater good, just to end up like this. a sad legacy.

"start changing yourself, such as your thoughts and negative views with more positive things"
>>i need reasons for that. valid, objective reasons. i changed myself to the point of... well, it'd sound weird telling that, here. it's certainly not for public display. but i did my part, trust me.
other than that i'd be another delusional person.

thanks for the tips, Orkhepaj.
please pray for me.

aDyingLight may you figure and sort out things that you have and are feeling, I believe you can make it out of this deep hole that you are in. I genuinely want you to have the strength, might, and the mindset to power out of this difficult thing you are in. Since I am not in your shoes, I have little advice, I sincerely apologize if anything has hurt you, but I know you will able to figure this mess out that you are in.

i cant.

No I said that isn't the way to go. You need to be able start trusting again, little by little if need be....and to be able to take advice when offered and not shoot it down so readily.

Imo without being able to do those two things, the advice you get here/elsewhere is likely going to do much good.

So, then, it is up to you: Do you want to be helped? If so, you need only take the first steps.

Guys, gals, etc etc...take your pick and go from there.

To what? Your trust issues? Other things?

As I said above, you need to be willing to take the first steps and start trusting again...if only slowly and with a few people...and also be more quick to accept and try advice given than to dismiss it.

Yes, you can....you are just stuck in a "mental funk" and cannot see that. The first thing you need to do is stop thinking in such a way and gain a more optimistic outlook...even if you have to force it on your mind. Until you do so, it's possible that no amount of advice will help you, as you need to be willing to take hold of it and make use of it in order for it to be of help.

Sidenote: Age of Empires has a 3 game collection in my local Walmart for like 10 bucks....if you have Walmarts there or can have them ship to you you might be able to get a copy from them....dunno if it has the DLCs, though.

Ok... I really don't want to be ass to someone going through something bad. So, if there really is a real person going through some real shit on the other end of this thread - I'm sorry. I truly wish you the best.

BUT

This thread is some bizzare shit. Super long posts of vague talk of everything being utterly hopeless and the world crumbling and betrayal and I don't even know what. Rejecting anything anyone suggests. And just... who seeks help with serious life issues like this on a computer game store forum they never even engaged with at all before? I'm sorry, but this is just fishy as a tuna sandwich.

You actually can, that is just your fears saying you can't. From your past experiences that you briefly described, you likely just feel like the same thing will happen and become worse, however; if you live in this trapped bubble it will become much harder to overcome. The best advise I can provide is to start now because these fears are driving you to be less confident in your ability to achieve your goal. Do not say you cannot, there is nothing stopping you except yourself and your thoughts.

it does tells a thing on how wrong the world goes as a +2k reputation user calls me fishy while a -2k offers me friendship.

What in the actual fuck is the meandering bullshit?

Is this a poetry jam?

No no, they will offer you a professional advice, for example depression is a bitch, because you won't notice until is too late, and you have to remeber that depression is a sickness, the sooner you go to a doctor, the better :D
Trust me, you will notice the difference with the time. Cheer up :)
You talking about GamezRanker? He is one of the best user in the community!!!!

I'm sorry you feel so bad about your life. I risk saying that all of us have felt being in the bottom of a well but I can't say "I know how you feel". Just that I recognize some of the things you describe.

I hope you'll be able to feel better soon, but please realize it is unlikely to happen overnight. Try to live one day at a time and, hopefully, from time to time, you'll look back and realize you feel less bad today than you felt a while back. And one day you'll say that is all in the past.

Here are some things I'll leave for your consideration that I think helped me in my darkest moments:

- Long walks work great! Really! Do them regularly and as long as you can.

- Other physical exercise works nicely too. If you tire your body your mind gets more quiet. Fewer bad thoughts to bug you and you may sleep better.

- Try to measure your sporting achievements. As you improve, you'll feel better about yourself. Also, it helps you keep focused.

- Some people go with the "art" way. If you are having trouble talking with people about your troubles, art can provide you with a way to express yourself or to manifest your feelings. Get them off your chest.

- Make yourself useful for the community by doing volunteer work and helping the most needed. I'm not trying to diminish what you are going through, and you said you have helped many others, but looking at the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, realize there are many people in greater need than you. It may give you a sense of purpose, value or self-esteem watching the impact you can have on individual people, since fixing society is near impossible. "Think globally, act locally". And maybe you'll meet like-minded people with other kind of sensibility in the process.

- A dog? Really, Orkhepaj, what kind of an idea was that one? Not a bad one if he has the conditions to have one. But it does require commitment! It is a heartbreaking thing seeing a dog being abandoned by their owners.

- Change your habits. Change your environment. Make a break you can notice and feel and call it day 1.

I hope will go well in your journey.