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Now, let me get this straight, judge...you had a defendant with a loaded shotgun....a defendant from the mafia...a pyromaniac prosecuting attorney...and the FLIPPIN' GOGFATHER HIMSELF...and it's ME you choose to lock up? And on top of that, you're still somehow trusting me to speak for you anyways just because I've done so before? Criminy. You're a real piece of work, y'know that? I demand a freakin' lawyer.
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zeogold: Now, let me get this straight, judge...you had a defendant with a loaded shotgun....a defendant from the mafia...a pyromaniac prosecuting attorney...and the FLIPPIN' GOGFATHER HIMSELF...and it's ME you choose to lock up? And on top of that, you're still somehow trusting me to speak for you anyways just because I've done so before? Criminy. You're a real piece of work, y'know that? I demand a freakin' lawyer.
Don't worry, brother dear. I've been assigned to this case.
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zeogold: Now, let me get this straight, judge...you had a defendant with a loaded shotgun....a defendant from the mafia...a pyromaniac prosecuting attorney...and the FLIPPIN' GOGFATHER HIMSELF...and it's ME you choose to lock up? And on top of that, you're still somehow trusting me to speak for you anyways just because I've done so before? Criminy. You're a real piece of work, y'know that? I demand a freakin' lawyer.
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zeogoldilocks: Don't worry, brother dear. I've been assigned to this case.
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NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! You are the last person on EARTH I want defending me! Isn't there somebody else?!
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zeogoldilocks: Don't worry, brother dear. I've been assigned to this case.
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zeogold: ...........................................................................................
NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! You are the last person on EARTH I want defending me! Isn't there somebody else?!
I'm afraid not. It's either I defend you or you defend yourself.
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zeogoldilocks: Don't worry, brother dear. I've been assigned to this case.
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zeogold: ...........................................................................................
NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! You are the last person on EARTH I want defending me! Isn't there somebody else?!
I could defend you, I'd advise you to plead guilty though.
You just look guilty.

Edit: You're definitely guilty.
Post edited April 01, 2016 by omega64
Screw your rules! I'll defend myself! But look, I'm telling you, that sister of mine is bad news! Don't let her leave from here!
Post edited April 01, 2016 by zeogold
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zeogold: I'll defend myself!
Hm. Is that so? Perhaps you'd be interested in seeing a picture I have here of the prosecuting attorney.
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zeogold: I'll defend myself!
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zeogoldilocks: Hm. Is that so? Perhaps you'd be interested in seeing a picture I have here of the prosecuting attorney.
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.............................dear God help me.........
Fine.
Fine.
You can defend me. Whatever. At least it means you're stuck to the confines of the courtroom.

I've had enough of this banter. Where's the court file? If the judge is gonna make me continue my duties even when locked up, I may as well get on with it.
https://media.giphy.com/media/O38dU2kkQ9sWc/giphy.gif

Don't remember how to change url's into words. :P
The Puzzlemaster is hailed as one of the greatest minds of the 21st century. At the age of 18, he has become one of the youngest people to ever attain a medical license.
He was overseeing the admission of his patient to Mt. Oak Hospital.
"It's a broken tibia," he said to the administrator as he showed her the X-rays.
"I put Mr. Lindo in an inflatable leg cast. He can't walk on it. He'll need at least a day's rest and observation. To be honest, the fracture as a result of a fight between Mr. Lindo and his cousin. Until things cool down in the family, I think it better for him to stay here."
Mr. Z. Lindo and Ms. Zeogoldilocks had jointly inherited the family puzzle business, but their relationship soon deteriorated. The latest incident was a fistfight during which Zeogoldilocks swore that she'd kill Lindo, and then proceeded to smash his lower left leg with a baseball bat. Lindo needed someplace safe to stay while he recovered from the trauma and worked out a lawsuit against his cousin. Hence, he was admitted to Mt. Oak.
The Puzzlemaster wheeled Lindo into his private room and made sure the window was latched. It was 8 P.M. The hospital ordered a security guard to monitor the hall and made a note on Lindo's chart not to disturb him until morning.
At around 2 A.M., a nurse ignored that note and looked into room 507. She saw no trace of her patient, but did notice an open window. A deflated leg cast on the sill prompted her to peer out the window. Nothing was on the fire escape, but below it, in the deserted alley, lay the body of Z. Lindo face down on a pile of garbage bags.
The police initially assumed that Mr. Lindo had removed his cast and was trying to maneuver his way down the fire escape when he lost his balance. But that was before they saw the bullet hole. A .38 slug had penetrated the victim's chest and proved to be the cause of death.
Zeogoldilocks was interviewed the next day at Lindo's office and warehouse in an industrial part of town. She showed no grief at the news. "Well, at least he won't sue me."
When asked for her whereabouts between 9 P.M. and midnight, she was prepared with an answer.
"I was here in the office. We were having trouble with our Hong Kong suppliers. I was calling them or they were calling me all night long. I picked up my car at about 1 A.M. Feel free to check with the phone company and the garbage man."
When the grand jury convened two weeks later, it wasn't Zeogoldilocks, but the Puzzlemaster who stood accused of killing Mr. Lindo.
The prosecution's document stated that there were discrepancies in the defendant's story. Mr. Lindo died between 9 P.M. and midnight. According to the guard in the hall, the Puzzlemaster visited Lindo at 12:30 A.M., at least half an hour after he'd been dead, and made this notation on the chart: "12:30. Resting peacefully." And yet, at that time, the victim was already dead. The Puzzlemaster has no explanation for this, other than to say the coroner must be wrong. The door was guarded, the window locked. The victim feared for his life and trusted only his cousin, the Puzzlemaster. Only he had access. And he appears to have lied about the victim being alive at 12:30.
The defense's document claims that the prosecution has no evidence. The Puzzlemaster was on friendly terms with Mr. Lindo, meaning he had no motive. He had no gun among his possessions, and the only gun he has been known to own is his trademarked "puzzle gun", which is non-lethal and does not fire bullets. The guard, who'd been outside the room all during the defenda'ts 12:30 visit, heard no sound. No gunshots, no struggle, nothing.

Technically, the job of this grand jury is not to judge the innocence or guilt of the Puzzlemaster, but to determine whether or not there is enough evidence to hold him for trial. However, the jurors are concerned for the family, and have decided amongst themselves that they should use this opportunity to ferret out the killer and present this person to the judge.

DAY 1 BEGINS NOW!
ALL RISE!
COURT IS NOW IN SESSION!
Post edited April 01, 2016 by zeogold
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zeogold: Technically, the job of this grand jury is not to judge the innocence or guilt of the Puzzlemaster, but to determine whether or not there is enough evidence to hold him for trial. However, the jurors are concerned for the family, and have decided amongst themselves that they should use this opportunity to ferret out the killer and present this person
We're not convicting the Puzzlemaster? :'(
A clue:
I apologize for all the obvious sockpuppeting, but for those of you who are rolling your eyes, you deserve to know:
The opening banter isn't entirely useless. There are subtle, yet useful clues.
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zeogold: A clue:
I apologize for all the obvious sockpuppeting, but for those of you who are rolling your eyes, you deserve to know:
The opening banter isn't entirely useless. There are subtle, yet useful clues.
I'm curious about why rule 5 is missing. Did rule 7 eat it and propagate?
Hello hello there! [Brings out some guacamole, offers it to all people around]. Fellow Jurors, Z family, attendants, I have to say that it quite shocked me looking at that familiar happy face all draped in chains, waiting for our benevolence with a sore gaze from that awkward place. [Cheers up, PM from afar] You're not guilty until your filthiness reveals itself by the incoherence of your actions.

As for starters: Prosecution Witness, Officer on the Scene 0;)

REDVWIN
Post edited April 01, 2016 by REDVWIN
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zeogold: A clue:
I apologize for all the obvious sockpuppeting, but for those of you who are rolling your eyes, you deserve to know:
The opening banter isn't entirely useless. There are subtle, yet useful clues.
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Bookwyrm627: I'm curious about why rule 5 is missing. Did rule 7 eat it and propagate?
That's....bizarre....it doesn't show it in the OP, yet when I go to edit it, it's there in the edit box. And apparently sanfueg was able to see it.
I'll fix this....somehow....
Edit: Oh, I see what happened. Spacing issue. Fixed it.
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REDVWIN: You're not guilty until your filthiness reveals itself by the incoherence of your actions.
I'm normally pretty incoherent anyways.
....
I mean, not that that makes me guilty.
I'm not guilty.
...........
..............I think I'd better just sit down and shut up now.
Post edited April 01, 2016 by zeogold