Trilarion: Maybe to get a more neutral perspective it would be good to think about general rules should look like in the EU about how growth, debt, inflation, unemployment, solidarity shall be coordinated. That way in the end nobody can feel unfairly treated.
There will always be a way to treat each others unfairly, don't worry. Especially when policies on growth, debt, inflation, unemployment, solidarity, etc have to be defined : they depend on ideological beliefs (the left wing and the right wing would disagree on the way these parameters are interrelated, on their mechanisms, on their moral fairness, etc), and may also not be applicable the same way universally (different cultures with different dominant values, norms, internal tensions, historically-driven representations, productions, etc, would make a given same policy function at different efficiencies).
That's a major issue with the EU project : it was meant to uniformize "societies" while respecting "culture" differences, but both are interrelated, as "culture" (shared values, norms, etc) determines the perceives legitimacy of implemented rules. A neutral perspective should take much much more in account than the technocratic reduction to financial aspects which is the current trend in the EU, but everybody (especially voters) prefer simple reductionist narratives. There will necessarily be clashes between perceived fairnesses. Heck, just look at the ambiguities of the "fair price" issue on GOG. What is "fair" (to whom, why), here ? It will always be debatable.
Playing by the rules depend on the rules. To go back to the specific EU exemple : Greece is, on a whole, motivated for changes (the election of Syriza is actually a symptom of that : it was about ditching the ND/Pasok dinosaurs and their history of clientelism and corruption), but the ones that are being enforced by the EU are unapplicably stark and fast-paced (because they are short-term pojects made by (crypto-ideologue) technocrats with zero concern for human level consequences). There is on one hand the general project, and there is on the other hand the way to do it - the latter is what is being rejected by the referendum. And is where "fairness" issues arise.
And to take another exemple : Germany
doesn't follow rules either (and all of Europe pays the price for it), but EU is not about fairness and rules implementations. It's about double standards selected by the dominant actors.
What I mean is that I do not even believe in the possibility of an EU driven by a "neutral perspective", and applying "fair universal rules". I'm all for international solidarity, but this requires an analytical perspective that decision-makers and (especially) voters cannot afford, and there would always be room for subjective perceptions of the "fairness" of any too global rule. And I think the EU project has a strong "actually all countries should be Germany" undertone (if not requirement), which is neither feasible nor really desirable.
I expect the EU project to collapse on its implicit self-contradictions. One form that these take is the "national sovereinty vs federation" debate. I'm not sure how the EU can balance this fairly (or even looking fair). Going back all the way to national sovereignties can be dangerous (sovereignists are often anti-international-human-rights militants, for instance, and let's not even mention international solidarities), and going all the way to USA-like federalism would be quite a bit reminiscent of colonial imperialism (full with the naively ethnocentered "let's take our current organisation as The Leading Natural Exemple of how everyone objectively should be shaped like" project). The EU will probably tip over to one of these extremes soon.
I'm not sure how it could be avoided. But more decent management of the Greek crisis, and less poisonous propaganda, would probably have helped a bit...