Gotta catch 'em all!

Fight 46

Purring, weaving in and out of legs and tentacles and other... things, the housecat (43) April Ryan makes her way through the crowd and into the arena.
(21) UG enters from the right, smashing his club into one of the pillars for dramatic effect. "Me UG. Me Stronk! Me Clever" He picks up a rock and starts banging it against his sloping forehead sending sparks flying. He holds a stick up until the sparks take hold and start a fire. "See, clever!"
April Ryan starts to read UG's mind but then thinks to herself, why bother?

* DICE ROLL 1 *
April Ryan rolls 7
UG rolls 11

A loose piece of string hangs down from UG's loincloth, mesmerizing April as it sways back and forth. UG rips of his lower attire much to the crowds disgust and waves them in the air "Kitty want string?" and throws them clean out of the arena, April Ryan chasing after them.
"Kitty no place here. Come back and me smash!" "UG want fight caveman. See who biggest club".

UG leaves the arena, knuckles dragging on the ground.
April Ryan is in the tavern with a bowl of warm milk, reading everyones minds.

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Fight 47

More purring ensues as the worlds tiniest kitten (51) Celeste, aka Paw-Oracle, enters from where April Ryan left. With an IQ of 999, Celeste is ever one move ahead of her opponents.
Talking of which... (96) Mage Torvas arrives in a puff of smoke, magical energy at his fingertips.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Celeste rolls 9
Mage Torvas rolls 3

Mage Torvas picks up Celeste by her tiny tail, ignoring the pitiful mewing noises. "What is this? Where is my real opponent?"
Big mistake, pulling on Celeste's tail is the trigger that morphs her from a tiny, cute kitten into a 200 ft tall kitten with attitude!

With a mighty meow, Celeste spins around looking for he who dared touch her tail but he is nowhere to be seen. Stepping back there is a wet squelch and she thinks to herself, whoopsie!
Celeste wipes the remains of Mage Torvas from her paw and steps over the cheering crowd and out of the arena.
Mage Torvas is in the tavern keeping a wary eye on the cat lapping at a bowl of milk.

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Fight 48

A thin robed figure called (85) Joseph Rue Ella enters, being deposited by a twister that he had summoned.
Facing him is the stuff of legend, the one-eyed ghost rogue (64) Hazaradam.

* DICE ROLL 1 *
Joseph Rue Ella rolls 8
Hazaradam rolls 7

Hazaradam fades in and out of physical form as she runs towards Joseph Rue Ella only to be swept up by a massive gale summoned by his will and sent crashing back into the far wall. With her one remaining eye, she glares at the wizard.

* DICE ROLL 2 *
Joseph Rue Ella rolls 4
Hazaradam rolls 9

Joseph summons an Earth Elemental that places the wizard on its shoulders. Together they stomp across the arena towards their prey.
Hazaradam watches calmly, a slight smile on her lips. As planned, the ground gives way before the Elemental opening into a many spiked pit. The Earth Elemental is impaled but Joseph Rue Ella escapes harm as he is resting on it, just above the top of the pit.

Hazaradam's smile is full now as she flicks her wrists out to either side, sending daggers to cut ropes that are holding boulders in place atop two of the pillars. The boulders swing in to meet in the middle just above the pit with a sickening thud as Joseph Rue Ella's head is obliterated in the process.

Hazaradam bows and walks out of the arena.
Joseph Rue Ella is in the still unnamed tavern, taking a couple of aspirins.

The Shadowy figure gazes down feeling a bit peeved that someone had the audacity to tinker with his arena.

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Fights 49 and 50 are being handled by Punington, I will add them when he is done.

Fun fact: Ze ruela is a Brazilian expression that refers to someone who's unable or unwilling to resolve any problems or situations due to laziness or incompetence.

Seems pretty accurate right now. XD

Kitty, noooooooo!

It depends. The decision here is:
a) keep working on that hopeless project for no more than a few millions of people,
b) start working on something much bigger, earn trillions and become a legend.
It seems obvious for me. Don't be fooled by anchoring effect :D

Sometimes I think I should consider the same, as my username seems to be difficult even for people with Polish as a native language :D
If H4096 wins the tournament I'll celebrate it by requesting H4096 as my new username. ;)

That must have been the second most NSFW fight, in terms of mental imagery (right after to the Mother of All Mother-in-Laws). *shivers*

Join us at the tavern's bar, first bowl of milk is on me.

Wumpus welcomes all with open arms to talk about friendship and gift giving!

Hear, hear!!

Now for an excellent contribution from Punington.

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Fight 49

The shadowy figure leaves his position vacant once again. Seizing the opportunity, the sneaky stranger approaches the empty seat, hops on, and marvels at the view of the arena below.

Having temporarily left his position as the universe's CPU support, (14) 010110101001010101011101 the sentient RAM chip (AKA 5A955D to his friends) randomly accesses the arena through the left gate. On that moment, sensing a disturbance in the electromagnetic force, a movement of free electrons bursts in through the crackling right gate. (69) Circuit is here! But hey, wait a second, did nobody tell him that this tournament was "free of charge"?

* DICE ROLL 1 *
010110101001010101011101 rolls 11
Circuit rolls 3

Borrowing from his weakness towards positive charges, Circuit considers the negative approach instead. "I bet I can take you down! You look like someone who has latency issues!" he yells tauntingly.
010110101001010101011101 doesn't get it. Unable to understand wether that was some sort of trick or an uninformed statement, he shrugs and changing the subject, intentionally makes an affirmation sound as if it were an inquiry: "We don't have to fight if you don't waaaaaant?"
The power of reverse psychology proves effective on Circuit who, exciting his subatomic particles impatiently, rushes towards his opponent. He fell for it!
Too quick to even spare a thought regarding strategy, Circuit's body instinctively chooses Kung Fu Fighting as the most appropriate match for his speed of lighting. Wrong move! 010110101001010101011101, having recently been at the universe's matrix, knows Kung Fu! He predicts his opponents moves with ease, one after another tiring him down, and when the moment is right, absorbs Circuit whole!

A sudden jolt of energy overclocks 010110101001010101011101 who, always happy to bring a neutral charge equilibrium to the universe, leaves the arena and waits for his opportunity to process the data of another fight.
Circuit wakes up in the tavern unable to recall what just happened. Back to his usual self and taking good measure of the merry atmosphere, he happily begins to move around from table to table, charming the joint's guests with his magnetic personality.

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Fight 50

Everyone is still trying to wrap their heads around a kung fu battle between a RAM chip and an electrical current when the next fight is announced. Wait, no one is coming in through the left gate! The crowd gets impatient, a few boos erupt. The sneaky stranger begins to rock uncomfortably on the borrowed seat, looking left and right in desperation. Just when he was about to jump out and begin running, the left gate opens up and Mina Han, a girl with a gift for tardiness, makes her appearance. Through the left gate, an angry-looking figure carrying an electric guitar emerges after a cloud of smoke, Metälingus the master of brütality, can't believe someone just followed Rock with the word uncomfortable.

* DICE ROLL 1 *
Mina Han rolls 5
Metälingus rolls 10

"Hey!" Metälingus roars, "Hey, you!"
Mina Han points her weapon of choice the meat tenderiser at the metalhead and, raising an eyebrow of annoyance, replies with a Windy Village accent. "You talking to me?"
Metälingus, having a soft spot for impertinence, decides not to eat Mina Han's head outright. "Yeah you! That meat tenderiser you're holding, it's made of METAL you know? Pretty cool if you ask me..."
The battle chef, who paradoxically is extremely impatient and who never asked him in the first place, rushes straight into action by casting Whirlwind and projecting herself on top of her opponents head. Riding the wind, she drops from the skies with a downward thrust strike aimed at Metälingus' skull and yells: "I never asked you in the first place!" But her adversary stares at her descending figure calmly, not moving an inch.
It's a hit!

A reverberating sound echoing loudly throughout the stadium explodes from the epicenter on Metälingus' head, disintegrating Mina Han in a split second. The huge shockwave knocks everyone off their seats and, for a short moment, there's only silence.
Slowly, the most resilient onlookers get back to their allocated seats trying to understand what just happened. But down on the arena, the metalhead is still standing on the same spot where he was before, looking impervious to any damage. "You fool. No METAL can harm the Metälingus", the master of brütality says whilst slowly rising his arms towards the sky and making the rock sign with his hands.
The crowd spontaneously bursts into a cacophony of screams as the ashen remains of Mina Han's figure are softly blown away, back to the skies, by a gentle breeze.

Back in the tavern Mina Han wakes up in front of a hearty feast. All around there're loud talks and laughter, and the smell of more delicious dishes to come envelops her in a comforting feeling. "This is pretty nice" she says after tasting her meal, "but let me tell you, it could use some more tenderising".

Hahahaha, that's pure gold! Thank you for the laughs!
If it's trillions we're talking here, i'm all set for business! :D

Welcome to the loser's bar. Have some milk and drown your sorrows.

^_^

Doc called it tavern of the vanquished initially.
Second change? Huh... This one doesn't fully fit though, need to hover to see it whole.
I just identify you by avatar. Otherwise it's, uh, that long nick with a c? :)

I'm game! How much does it pay? :P