Well fuck that was unpleasant. Went out to call the cat and the torch picked up a single strand cobweb across the back opening of the verandah. I tracked it to the end to swipe it down only to notice that there was a cobweb the size of my bloody head with a stripy, small but dangerous looking spider RIGHT where my left eye would have been had I taken one more step. Have I mentioned that I'm more than a little arachnophobic?

I backed away with more haste (and calm) than I thought I was capable of and got the fly spray, went out to hose the fucker down and just as I press the button, a gust of wind picked up and blew poison square into my eyes! I know its so weak that its more effective at drowning creatures than in actually poisoning them but its going to make me paranoid all night
No no no, you pay for the bandwidth, the porn is free after that as a complimentary service by the ISP... right?
I know how that is, I semi regularly think to myself that I must ask my sister how she made that one meal and then remember that I can't...