Tarnicus: Yes. Being raised in a violent environment unfortunately wasn't the best influence on learning how to interact with other human beings when conflict arose. I usually took it out on myself but did take it out physically on others at the worst of times. That is one of the most difficult lessons I've had to take responsibility for this lifetime. I am very fortunate not to even have a caution to my name at 37 given how I was from 18 to 22. The universe/god/random events or however you wish to look at it put some very challenging experiences my way to help show me who I was or how I was behaving. Hence you'll hear me say that I have learned not to regret my past experiences but try to learn from them, even if it takes multiple loops of experiencing the same lesson until it sinks in.
Martial arts training, in particular full contact sparring was one of the best things I ever did. It helped me to learn to control my fear and anger response, as my fight or fight response(not flight) seems to be more overactive than most people I've met. Full contact sparring is also a great release for inner shit, the best form of exercise I've found :)
That's all very sad, I'm sorry to hear that you had such traumatic experiences. But at least you found enough motivation and will to move away/ past from those negative influences and experiences and become a person that releases/ manages anger and frustration, and thus handles conflicts, in non-harming/ positive ways - that's no small achievement.
With this background info, I'm willing to bet that the look in your eyes is a direct result of your transition.
Not to mention that you proved me right - because of your past experiences and your journey to overcome them, you're a person incapable of (or at least resistant to) causing harm, so I'm
not taking back what I said. ;-)
EDIT: typo