Kylo Ren is the son of Han Solo. Something revealed by Han Solo just before his death at the hands of Kyle Ren.

That's not nearly as awesome as Luke being Kylo Ren. -.-

I am saddened.

or maybe it's shitty+contrived writing

you call these spoilers, people?! COME ON! I'm not going to probably ever watch these POSs, soooo, tell me what happens! Han dies, was it a "noble" death? I bet it was! Did he and Leia ever fuck? Did Luke get in on some of that action? What happened after the emporer died in Return of the Jedi? I thought the "rebels" celebrated throughout the galaxy the fall of the empire and no longer were "rebels" ? Do we get to see Palpatine's ghost giving guidance to a young jedi? Were there any cool aliens? How was the editing?

SPOIL ME ROTTEN!!!

Han and Leia had kids. One they named Ben. He was being trained by Luke with some other Force sensitive kids at Luke's new Jedi academy. Supreme Leader Snoke, who comes out of nowhere and is not explained but is clearly evil because he's got that pale deformity thing dark side people have, lured him to the dark side. Ben slew all the other apprentices and became Kylo Ren. Neither Kylo nor Snoke were referred to as having Sith titles which I found odd, but Snoke did mention "finishing his training" which may come with a promotion and a new job title.

Rey is the orphan girl on the desert planet. Who her parents are and why she was abandoned there isn't explained. My theory is she's Leia and Han's other child, who they hid away when Ben went dark side in order to protect her. The Force intervened and brought her out in to the world. She ends up finding Anakin's lightsaber in a box of stuff beneath a cantina. No, I'm not making that up. She has a vision and freaks out and runs away. Kylo hunts her down because she's seen the map that leads to Luke Skywalker who went away and hid after Ben turned.

The new character of Finn was a red herring. He's not a Jedi, he's a former storm-trooper who doesn't fire a single shot during his first mission. He has a panic attack and breathes heavy a lot and decides he's in love with Rey so he goes to rescue her but she's busy rescuing herself.

Poe Dameron is the new Han character but he didn't get much screen time because the old Han character was still around.

Was.

Han takes Finn and Chewie on a mission to destroy the new Death Star type weapon that is literally a planet with a massive terraforming thing happening that sucks up an entire star and uses it to fire a blast of energy from hyperspace (so faster than light but they can still see it coming because Star Wars physics) and destroys not only Coruscant but every planet and moon in the Coruscant system. It's a big weapon but the Resistance (the name for the Republic's anti-First Order paramilitary wing) destroy the heat-sink on Death Star 3.0 and it overheats and implodes.

Han, while destroying the heat sink, confronts his son. He meets him in the middle of a catwalk over a vast chasm. he tries to bring him back like he promised Leia he would. His son says he is conflicted and doesn't know what to do. Han tries to help. Kylo hands over his lightsaber and Han puts his hands on it. Kylo turns it on. Han gets run through, but as he's dying all he does his stroke his son's face before he falls in to the chasm. It was actually a pretty good scene. Ford and Driver sold me on it, even though I'd guessed Ford would be killed off in this movie because he'd wanted to be killed off from Star Wars since Empire.

So Han's dead and it was a really good scene. Chewie goes nuts, shoots Kylo with his bowcaster which is ridiculously OP and Kylo gets hurt bad. Then Kylo chases Rey and Finn and Finn uses Anakin's lightsaber and sucks at it and get his shit ruined and he's nearly dead at the end of the movie. I think he'll be full of cybernetics next movie. Rey uses Force pull, grabs Anakin's lightsaber and duels Kylo, who as I said is hurt bad and can't fight properly. Rey manages to score some good hits (she's had a rough life and is good in a scrap, as we see earlier in the movie with some thugs when he's an orphan Annie) and leaves Kylo with some major wounds (and Chewie's blaster hole in his side) so he'll be "more machine than man" next movie, just like Grandpa Vader.

Rey leaves before the Resistance celebrate destroying Death Star The Sequel The Sequel and uses the map to find Luke. He looks absolutely haunted and yet hopeful as Rey shows up with Anakin's lightsaber.

Fin

There's more but I'm tired. You have been properly spoiled.

Sure? I can't understand why some people like spoilers O_o

*SPOILERS*
- His death was quite stupid. For some reason Solo tried to talk his son out of the dark side alone, after years of distance and evil doings.
- It seems that the destruction of 2 Death Stars didn't harm the bad guys that much...
- No idea about the emperor, hopefully he just died.
- Mostly funny aliens, except for a wormlike one with tentacles and teeth.
*SPOILERS*

Wait... ANOTHER DEATH STAR?
Huh, so it`s DEATH STAR WARS, right?

*I FED UP WRITING SPOILER TAGS*
She's probably Luke's daughter.

Oh I despise them and avoid them quite adeptly. However, I don't think I'll ever watch these SW movies and even if for some crazy reason I eventually, I don't care SO MUCH that I don't care.

THanks!
Thanks a lot! What crap! Not surprised!

Rey and Ren and Han and Ben and holy shist really writers?

John Williams only conducted he didn't compose? Is that right? How was the music?

The music+editing/sfx are the strong points of all of the movies IMO. That and the symbolism/representation of good vs. evil.

*phew*

Note Spoilers is listed in the thread title so ill treat it that people will be aware of spoilers in here lol



The way Han and Leia's conversation went - the impression i got as well was Kylo was their only child (ill have to see the movie again but i might have been hearing things but also got impression Kylo was Han's son but by someone else?).
Like phaolo i get impression Rey is most likely Rey Skywalker, Luke's daughter. Bits and pieces mentioned near start about her family - "one who might come back" - might be referring to Luke.

who did he bang? isn't having sex/falling in love paths to the dark side? (my biggest issue with the jedi ideologies, it makes no sense that LOVE would be a path to the dark side, farking ridunkulous)

The Star Wars saga is about the Skywalker family
If there is only failing of the movie - it doesnt give enough detail of what happened between end of RoJ to start of this movie.

I thought it was about C-3PO and R2-D2. To me they are the "log-takers" from which the story is able to be told.

OHYA! Are they in it? Do they look right or "modernized" ?

More than that, fans are quite easily piecing together pretty much all the similarities to ANH.

Rey - Luke with tits
Han - Han with a touch of Obi-Wan
BB8 - R2D2
Kylo - Emo Vader
Hux - Tarkin
Death Star - Death Star - Death Star

Instead of Death Star plans we have some sort of map thing. Maguffins everywhere, none of which really have any meaning or purpose for emotion or character building. Just talk talk talk, look surprised, run and gun pew-pew scene, more talk talk talk, rinse and repeat.

After reading some reviews and a plot synopsis it's hard for me to swallow that Lawrence Kasdan actually had anything to do that script.

Well, you can say what you want, but the second trilogy by George Lukas had at least new ideas.
But this new movie is just the same old shit in new clothes. So J. J. Abrams did it again: He again ruined a great SF-Franchise!!!