It seems that you're using an outdated browser. Some things may not work as they should (or don't work at all).
We suggest you upgrade newer and better browser like: Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer or Opera

×
Hey all with all the hype in the media around 'ze evil russian hackers' and the media trying to stir up hate I wanted to make a short thread about Russian Hacker jokes either you make up yourself or have seen around, I think laughter is the best way to laugh off absurdity.

Russian hackers hacked the iceberg that sank the Titanic.
Russians take credit for hacking 2016 election in 1966

quoted from article
We cannot let Schwarzenegger win. Instead we will get everyone to vote Stalin!
Post edited December 19, 2016 by rtcvb32
I somehow found this while browsing dank memes. I can't even remember how or when.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq-P1BiHZTg
low rated
Russian hackers hacked my baby.
New plan uncovered of how Russia took out over America!

In an uncovered hidden secret article by the Kremlin, details of a successful coup of how to take over the entire US election process. Russia would give everyone a week-long vacation to the Bahamas during election week, then while everyone was gone they would come in during election week and rig all the votes at the same time voting for everyone.

CIA says "The move was so unprecedented we didn't expect it!"

CNN reported "We all went on vacation and read heard Putin won the Presidential election while we were sipping our Jack Daniels"

President Obama said the following "The election won't be rigged. What does that even mean?"

John Kerry after returning to his office noticed every single heater & air-condition unit in the White house and congress was missing, with an IOU note left behind by Putin saying "For the environment".
low rated
Hey rtcvb32

Why does the right wing conspiracy bullshit go in your so called informative 'Info Wars' thread and the left wing conspiracy stuff go in a joke thread?
Post edited December 19, 2016 by tinyE
low rated
avatar
tinyE: Hey rtcvb32

Why does the right wing conspiracy bullshit go in your so called informative 'Info Wars' thread and the left wing conspiracy stuff go in a joke thread?
Because the infowars thread actually has sources backing the information.

And this is a joke thread on Russian...
no comment :P
Trust tinyE to derail the thread and ruin the humour.
Cab Driver's car won't start, "It's Putin's Fault!" driver claims
low rated
The joke is Obummer. I could never imagine that man had even the comedian inside him! He is:

1) Inventor (made up sh_t)
2) Actor (went on a Europe trip to speak in public for being humane, supporting minorities, fighting for rights and his only concern when he ultimately met those European leaders, was actually only to prolong the measures against Russia and make them promise to amplify those even, after he is gone, ergo hostilities and diplomatic "axe-ing")
3) Split personality (Before elections; "No one has the potential to interfere with the elections!" After elections: "Sob, hic, the evil Russians hacked us)
4) Shameless bigot (he conveniently forgot and let to slide completely, the CONTENTS of the leaked emails themselves; his only concern being the violation of privacy behind them...)
5) Small time ruffian (creating as much chaos as he can just before departing, so as Trump finds himself knee deep in some incomprehensible shitstorm)
6) Spineless maggot (when he returned, he claimed publicly to have said to Putin: "Zip it, there are going to be consequences, expect them soon!"... i really wonder, though, whether or not he said that exactly as quoted, to the face of someone like Putin, especially without actual proof in hand to present accordingly)
7) Finally, a comedian and a very boring one, at that. Even a useless trash of society, like Tsiprass, was yawning and looking at his wrist-clock, while "Mr. Obummer" was talking randomly about his usual, gibberish w_nk)

P.S. I almost forgot his redeeming values and that is unfair! He is a muslim who says is a christian and a family head, with a trans for wife! Usually, muslims cut christian heads off and set trans on fire, but this wonderful man (?) right there, even calls his wife "HE" and "michael" instead of "she" and "michelle", even before public!
Post edited December 19, 2016 by KiNgBrAdLeY7
BREAKING: CIA releases footage of Russian hackers in the act!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og0uOthzm70
low rated
avatar
KiNgBrAdLeY7: a trans for wife
It seems some Russian hacker hacked you and made you lose your sense of grammar.
low rated
Russian hackers hacked Trump's hairdresser.

avatar
dtgreene: It seems some Russian hacker hacked you and made you lose your sense of grammar.
I'm actually impressed you made it that far into his ramblings, well done to the Deatrice.
avatar
Kleetus: I'm actually impressed you made it that far into his ramblings, well done to the Deatrice.
Russians hack President Obama! Proof!

"if... if.. if... if if if... if..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poz6W0znOfk