I'm just wondering what roguelikes there are that allow for disabling permadeath.

Some requirements:
* This option must be its own toggle; it should be possible to play on a difficulty that's otherwise identical to the hardest difficulty.
* This option shouldn't put you in a state that otherwise wouldn't happen. (For example, Nethack's explore mode isn't suitable because it lets you continue from where you died instead of loading a recent save.)
* Disabling permadeath should not prevent access to game content. In other words, no game content should require permadeath to be enabled to access or unlick.
* There should be no cost to disabling permadeath. It shouldn't require any resources (in-game or IRL), and it should not use up a slot on a build or have any other sort of opportunity cost.

Technically it doesn't meet your rules, but Castle of the Wins should qualify. The game allows you to save and load as you wish, as it is a Windows 3.1. I personally consider the game to be the progenitor of the western roguelite, as it was far more user-friendly than any other fully featured roguelike of the time. It is a favorite of mine, and I play it using WineDVM to emulate Windows 3.1 with minimal fuss.

n a similar vein, Quenzar's Caverns - you can't disable permadeath or save, but the game uses a player-given seed for each session to generate the map. Accordingly, you can replay the same map with foreknowledge of what to expect. There is something like 20,000 seeds, and the game is about as long as a good coffee break. Less than 30ish minutes per successful run. I am planning on putting up the registered version onto the Internet Archive when things settle down, since that version was nearly lost media. (to register the game, the -diamondgem argument is used for running the .exe)

Diablo + Hellfire also counts if COTW is valid, as you can save or load at will. The biggest issue is that some enemies can drain stats forever. The Black Death zombie, IIRC.

CAVES OF QUD

Edit: ADOM may also classify (but ive not spent much time with it).

To me it does despite being in real time.

I tend to put emphasis rather on how a game feels and plays, on what kind of itch it scratches, than on a strict genre definition like the "Berlin Interpretation".

PS: But I don’t see it as answering to the initial question, as I don’t think of a save/load system as a way to disable permadeath.

Roguelikes as far as I can tell largely has ditched the turn base feature years ago as a whole. so you are looking more for a ''traditional roguelike '' rather then Roguelikes in general .. I bring this up as if my observation is correct that most roguelikes for quite a while now aren't being made turn based then you'd be hard pressed to find any that fit your criteria to be considered a roguelike in general atleast of ones still legally available that aren't going for insane prices on key reselling sites or out right insane prices for used copies...

But again, I could be mistaken on what roguelikes are largely based on in in terms of real time anymore or not

The thing that sets apart roguelikes is the focus on permutations of content, not whether it is turn-based.

This is why we use multiple words to define a given game: "Turn-based roguelike hentai JRPG." conveys the shorthand that allows a person to decide whether it is worth investigating further.

Dungeons of Dredmor

Tales of Maj'Eyal has this as a birth option (it has other issues), Nethack has explore mode, HyperRogue has several game modes where death is not permanent, but they're not primary...

ELoNa, of course. and ELoNa+.
both have permadeath off by default.

ahhh.. might be not what you're looking for. since you "crawl up from the grave" in some more safe place after dying.

In Tales of Maj'Eval, does the choice have a cost (like only being able to choose a limited number of birth options)?

Even dumber! And you either have to donate or pay for the whole shebang. It's quite silly. And a little tactless.

So I'll consider this game not suitable.

Edit: Just added another point to the original post to clarify that having a cost of any sort (in-game, real, or opportunity) to disable permadeath is not acceptable.

Not exactly perfrct, but save scumming is common among some permadeath games. Try cross referencing the game you actually would play and see if it is possible.

Opens more options.

edit: crappy keyboard making me mistype....

Stoneshard (by default, Permadeath is deactivated indeed)