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General discussionRecruiting true/false developer(35 posts)(35 posts)
(35 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted August 21, 2018
Every time someone explains their own joke, the FSM kills a meatball. :(
Posted August 21, 2018
"Yes means no and no means yes. Delete all files?"
Posted August 21, 2018
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dtgreene: Payment: For each hour of work, you shall pay me $20. (Yes, I am asking you to pay to work for me. I can't afford free labor; I want something even cheaper, please.)
I finished this 10 years before I started. Pay me.
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muntdefems: Every time someone explains their own joke, the FSM kills a meatball. :(
^ That was a joke of course. I'm implying that I finished it in negative time, hence, since the per hour salary is also negative, dtgreene should pay me.

*meatballs* mmmmmmm......
Post edited August 21, 2018 by ZFR
Posted August 21, 2018
You might want to consider prohibiting the developers from citing the work they do for you as references. Otherwise you'd be paying them in exposure. Might as well burn your money while you're at it...
Posted August 21, 2018
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dtgreene: * 60+ years of UNIX programming experience
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WinterSnowfall: Hello there. And how is the future? Is it as bad as everyone thinks it's going to be?
Well, we haven't had the Year 2038 problem crop up yet.

(For those who aren't aware, UNIX time is measured as the number of seconds since midnight on January 1, 1970; at some time in January of 2038, UNIX time will overflow the size of a 32-bit integer, causing UNIX systems that still have 32-bit time_t to report a date in 1970; this is much like the Year 2000 scare that happened a couple decades ago (and which didn't cause serious problems *precisely* because it was so publicized in advance so the software could be fixed).)
Posted August 21, 2018
There goes another meatball... :_(
Posted August 21, 2018
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dtgreene: I am looking for a programmer to help develop new versions of the UNIX "true" and "false" commands. The requirements are as follows:
* 60+ years of UNIX programming experience
* 20+ years of Go or Rust experience
* 20+ years of experience with iPhone or Android development

You will be asked to develop new versions of "true" and "false". To apply, you will be asked to provide working implementations of these two UNIX commands. (You do not have to support the --help and --version options.)

Payment: For each hour of work, you shall pay me $20. (Yes, I am asking you to pay to work for me. I can't afford free labor; I want something even cheaper, please.)

(This post, of course, is a joke; "true" and "false" are trivial programs to write, and the amount of experience required should raise some serious eyebrows.)
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ryuken3k: This isn't that far off from real programming job postings I've seen.
Due to a "glitch," certain McDonald's were requiring bachelor's degrees to work cash registers.
Posted August 21, 2018
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muntdefems: There goes another meatball... :_(
And to explain what muntdefems means to say by "meatball", it is the very act of over-explaining witty humor :P.
Posted August 21, 2018
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Dray2k: I've seen real job listings that required a (or several) university degree for a rather simple accountant position that requires rudimentary ERP understanding with perhaps 1 month of experience with that system at most. I even asked the person who has written that stuff and they told me its just how the Boss wants. And thats just the superficial stuff.

Welcome to neoliberalism, where basically nepotism and otherwise extremly unrealistically high expectations will control everything. Can't wait until I can use my degree in Psychology with 10 years of previous working experience in several fields as a Taxi Driver where it belongs.

To put things into perspective, my mother was leading a engineering department while working with the youth union of the company 3 years after leaving school at 14, which was normal back in the day as most left school by that age.

The expectations were just more realistic and you gained skills while working naturally in your field. Nowadays you will be replaced by a machine even if you do your job great. Not to mention that my (and your) work will probably be replaced by one in the next 10-20 years.

Its either that my Job decisions were abysmal or that I'm simply a statistic out of many. According to thousand of other experiences that I've read and heard from I'm not alone.

I also suggest that every child by the age of 4 has to master ASM perfectly or else it gets put into the Intel child labour Silicon mines.

Thats the future we're all up for, most likely.
The magic word for this is "progressive credentialism," where "progressive" doesn't mean "left." I hate to admit it, but this credentialism is both championed (when someone's arguing a point) and criticized (when it becomes job requirements) by the left at the same time. Those on the right are basically "meh, i don't care, that's a problem for the millennials" if they're old, while gen-Xers are like "Hey, millenials, start a business!"

EDIT: To be clear, it was the boomers that started this shit.
Post edited August 21, 2018 by kohlrak
Posted August 21, 2018
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WinterSnowfall: And to explain what muntdefems means to say by "meatball", it is the very act of over-explaining witty humor :P.
AaaaAAaAAaaaAAaaaAAAaaaaAAAAAaaAaAaaaAAaaAAaaaaAAAAaaaaaargh.... *collapses*
Posted August 21, 2018
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WinterSnowfall: Hello there. And how is the future? Is it as bad as everyone thinks it's going to be?
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dtgreene: Well, we haven't had the Year 2038 problem crop up yet.

(For those who aren't aware, UNIX time is measured as the number of seconds since midnight on January 1, 1970; at some time in January of 2038, UNIX time will overflow the size of a 32-bit integer, causing UNIX systems that still have 32-bit time_t to report a date in 1970; this is much like the Year 2000 scare that happened a couple decades ago (and which didn't cause serious problems *precisely* because it was so publicized in advance so the software could be fixed).)
See, i thought about this problem before, and i figured it wouldn't be a problem, aside from banks and stuff. Then i remembered that the android auto-focus bug was somehow tied to the date (it only happened every other day on either even days or odd days), and I worry for airplanes and self-driving cars.
Posted August 21, 2018
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muntdefems: AaaaAAaAAaaaAAaaaAAAaaaaAAAAAaaAaAaaaAAaaAAaaaaAAAAaaaaaargh.... *collapses*
Your desperate cries of woe make me think perhaps you did not get the full meaning of my explanation. If you want me to explain my explanation please press 1 :D.
Posted August 21, 2018
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tinyE: "Truth isn't truth" - Rudolph W. Giuliani
I was waiting for this response from someone.
Posted August 21, 2018
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muntdefems: AaaaAAaAAaaaAAaaaAAAaaaaAAAAAaaAaAaaaAAaaAAaaaaAAAAaaaaaargh.... *collapses*
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WinterSnowfall: Your desperate cries of woe make me think perhaps you did not get the full meaning of my explanation. If you want me to explain my explanation please press 1 :D.
111111111111111111111111!!!!!11!11!!!1one
Posted August 21, 2018
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dtgreene: Well, we haven't had the Year 2038 problem crop up yet.

(For those who aren't aware, UNIX time is measured as the number of seconds since midnight on January 1, 1970; at some time in January of 2038, UNIX time will overflow the size of a 32-bit integer, causing UNIX systems that still have 32-bit time_t to report a date in 1970; this is much like the Year 2000 scare that happened a couple decades ago (and which didn't cause serious problems *precisely* because it was so publicized in advance so the software could be fixed).)
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kohlrak: See, i thought about this problem before, and i figured it wouldn't be a problem, aside from banks and stuff. Then i remembered that the android auto-focus bug was somehow tied to the date (it only happened every other day on either even days or odd days), and I worry for airplanes and self-driving cars.
Don't forget DRM schemes! "This game won't be released until December 30, 2037. It is currently January 1st, 1970, so I can't let you play it." (There actually was a time when PlayStation 3's internal clock gave the date as February 29th of a non-leap year, causing the PS3's DRM-enforcement software to panic and stop letting you play most games for a day.)
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This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussionRecruiting true/false developer(35 posts)(35 posts)
(35 posts)