Posted May 05, 2015
ET3D: It looks to me like your buying addiction is under control. The problem isn't that, it's your love-hate relationship with games.
It's improved a lot by a factor of 6:1 but it isn't under satisfactory control yet. Satisfactory controls imho means that you're capable of making no exceptions. I'm honest with myself so I count every infraction and don't make any excuses along the lines of "well that's not really cheating because this and that etc", there's Hundreds of Millions of people in this world who move the goal post for all manner of things and in all kinds of situations. I only hold myself to strict standards though - so I don't tell other people what to do (e.g. if someone wants to make an exception for the Lucas Arts games, totally fine with me if they do, no problem whatsoever and it's none of my business anyway) Right now, I should be buying zero games, not just 6 times less than last year. Therefor, one can't consider my situation under control, regardless of how much it has improved. I'm never hard on myself, just honest. Also, I haven't reported my latest purchases yet, I already mentioned that I bought 3 unremarkable games on Steam, that's 3 infractions and I'll combine that into one giveaway. And then there's Technobabylon, the latest infraction. I don't feel guilty or ashamed or anything of the sort, just reporting on what I have done. Giveaway is certain, time is not! (and OP will be updated accordingly)
I don't hate games, I do hate wasting time though. If I waste time with games and I consider all time spent with games a waste of time, it's not the games that I hate but the wasting of time. It's not the game's fault if I abuse it for time wasting.
Wasting time sounds harsh to most people, so I must point out that I don't see wasting time as absolutely criminal, there are situations where you want to waste time because you wouldn't do anything productive anyway and you're not quite tired enough to sleep.
But regardless of how I look at things, I don't consider gaming worthy of being called a hobby. A pastime, at best. That's a purely personal definition. All the other things I do in my spare time are aimed at increasing skills & understanding of worthwhile things or even producing something of worth that can outlive my biological existence. I have very high respect for making games, but for playing games? Nope, doesn't matter how skilled someone is, even if they are the number 1 best player in the world they're just a simple consumer in my view, and everyone who has made a game themselves is much more worthy of admiration imho, whether they're a programmer or musician or visual artist or voice actor etc etc.
Even if you wear a spacesuit and are a Korean Starcraft player, I'll give more respect to someone who has made a mod with new scripts and graphics and sound and so on.
ET3D: I think that you're totally wrong about energy drain. Perhaps it's true for you, perhaps a result of your feeling of guilt.
Actually, I play games when I don't have the energy to do something productive. Gaming is a second-to-last resort for me, surpassed only by the very last resort which is watching movies and TV series for when I'm too tired to play even non-hardcore games. There is no feeling of guilt as I'm entirely unapologetic about my activities and interests, always have been. So the energy drain has no logical connection to feeling guilt. Even if I consider gaming to be of little worth, I feel no shame about the games themselves, or the act of gaming. When I turn to gaming, it means I already don't have the energy for better things which means I already lost the energy previously or didn't have it to begin with.
ET3D: Regardless, you need to do something about that love-hate. From the games you said you played, it sounds like you're playing quite a bit, so you need to either get rid of the guilt or reduce the amount of gaming.
I play a lot of games but I don't spend a lot of hours with most of them and only finish a small number, overall I probably spend considerably less time on games than many members here. There's no statistical data available for comparison and I don't even know how many hours I play per week so it's just guesswork. Not sure what I can do about the love/hate thing, as I explained I don't hate games but I can't -not- hate wasting time, and I can't see the act of gaming as -not- wasting time. When I was younger, I didn't have a notion of "wasting time", such a concept didn't really exist. But I can't turn back time, and I don't think I'd really want to.
Regardless of to what amount I reduce or increase my gaming time, I won't feel differently about it. I've already tried less, as well as more. Same result.
ET3D: If you can realistically replace gaming time with something which feels productive to you, then by all means do it. You don't have to ditch gaming completely, just try to replace some of it with something else. If that works, well done, you can try to continue. If not, try to reduce guilt. We all need to unwind, and consuming content can be a good fertiliser for creativity (it's not for nothing that writers tend to be voracious readers and game creators are gamers).
There's the energy issue - if I had more energy, I wouldn't be here. Would never have bought anything here or signed on to this forum. It's beyond me how anyone who has a lot of energy would opt for gaming and forum time, there so damn many things to do that are 10 times better. When I was a teenager, all I wanted to do was gaming and more gaming and I was so addicted to it that I couldn't care less about anything else, including school. It still puzzles me how I managed to get my high school maturity diploma, in senior high school I hardly did any homework anymore and I was half asleep during classes due to having played games all night long. But I enjoyed that.
Nowadays I put greater emphasis on my other hobbies, things that were secondary to gaming (included everything back in the day) are mow much more important to me. But they also require more energy.
Post edited May 05, 2015 by awalterj