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Not in, +1.

I don't really have a story, but when I was a youngster I worked at McDonald's for a few months and had a sweetheart deal where I only cooked. I didn't make sandwiches, I didn't cashier, I only cooked. Hamburgers were easy, but I really enjoyed making breakfast. The Egg McMuffin uses a real egg (no processed stuff) and I liked cooking the eggs for those and the pace of the work flow in the mornings (I'm an early bird). Anyway, that was boring but what can I say?
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BenKii: Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll microwave me some dinner. You think plastic containers are microwave safe? o_O
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greeklover: There are plastic containers that are safe to be used in a microwave oven. They usually have the specific sign on them and you put the container in the microwave oven without the lid.
I know. That last sentence was meant to be funny.

My dad actually did try to microwave a plastic Glad container with some water in it. It melted and made a hot water mess everywhere. I don't think that one had a "microwave-safe" symbol on it. Of course he did it on purpose as a science experiment instead of an accident like I did with the foil and black hot dog.
Recently I tried to make Chicken and Rice soup in a crock pot. Turns out, you shouldn't cook rice all day in a crock pot. The rice become a blob of starchy sludge. It was almost like glue - the spoon was able to stand up on it's own. Completely inedible.

My most memorable kitchen catastrophe was performed by a friend of mine. I was an unfortunate recipient. A good friend of mine was cooking dessert for a pot luck. She was staying with us, so she cooked it in our kitchen. She mixed up the salt and the sugar containers. Instead of making a cake with 1tbsp of salt and 2 cups of sugar, she made a cake with 1tbsp of sugar, and 2 cups of salt. I got the first piece. It was every bit as awful as you can imagine it would be. I still cringe thinking about it, almost 10 years later.

I'll be in for Spellcasting 1+2+3.
The klutz was my dad. One morning we were all having breakfast and my dad got up to get milk. On the way back to the table, a little milk spilt on the floor, causing him to slip and fall, right onto the milk carton, which then exploded, spraying milk all around. My brothers and I laughed our faces off, my sister cried, and my dog walked over to lick up the spilt milk. We all laughed even harder when we saw that Dad wasn't hurt and saw the dog volunteer for cleanup duty.

I'm in for Rage of Mages, and thanks.
Post edited June 14, 2018 by Gerin
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Gerin: On the way back to the table, a little milk spilt on the floor ... my sister cried
Don't do this.

Not in but funny giveaway (and I find it really amusing that this is a thing - Kitchen Klutzes Day). I have... some good ones. I'm not going to share ;)
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drmike: National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day
Sewing Machine Day
Weed Your Garden Day
Really? How come these exist?
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drmike: National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day
Sewing Machine Day
Weed Your Garden Day
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Lexor: Really? How come these exist?
you name it, there is a day for it.

My favorite is "Talk Like a Pirate Day", September 19th.
Thanks for the Giveaway! I like creative ones, so I'm in! +1 :) I'll choose game in case that you pick my entry as winning one.

In my family everybody except of one brother knows and loves cooking. Preparing delicious food and sharing it with loved ones is something in my blood and taste buds. When I was kid I even wanted to be chef one day.

I had fare share of small burns and cuts and a few burned dishes during years of cooking, nothing special but I have funny cooking related anecdote from my student days.

I come from Slavonia in northeastern Croatia. Average Slavonian loves spicy food, not nearly hot like Indians and Mexicans, but more than most of people form other regions of Croatia. When I was studying I had lot of colleagues and friends. I like to share my cuisine and adopt it according taste of my guest. I don't mind making it less spicy or not using ingredients person I'm preparing food for dislikes or is allergic to. So meals I share with someone from Dalmatia (southern Croatia) will usually be less spicy, or if someone is vegetarian there will be no meat.

I had one Slavonian roommate and I assumed that he will not mind that I put few quite piquant chili peppers in sauce I was preparing. After tasting a bite or two he was almost changing colours like cartoon character. I could easily have imagined steam coming out of his ears and fire out of his mouth and nostrils :) and a blaze in his eyes.

Soon he asked me to give him something to ease the burning sensation and I gave him the hot ketchup which was not so hot in my opinion. He said to me: "Are you normal, you are giving me hot ketchup to ease burning of hot sauce?" and i have replied calmly and stoically "But it is milder than my sauce, I don't see the problem". He rolled his eyes in disbelief. After short moment of recovery he explained that his grandmother was of German ancestry and he has gotten used to mild and mostly sweet dishes. How I could have known he was atypical Slavonian. I have learned valuable lesson that day. On positive side I had extra meal that day and something to remember and laugh for life :)
Post edited June 14, 2018 by xalegra
Oh, have a few of these. But maybe most notable, from some four years ago:

Had just made mamaliga, grabbed a kitchen rag, picked the cast iron cauldron off the stove… And somehow promptly dropped it, somehow also not having it above the counter at that particular moment, even though that’s right next to the stove. Don't know whether it was the rag that slipped or I had grabbed it wrong or it burned me and I let go by reflex or what happened, I don’t even know which side slipped first, but one definitely did and the only thing my mind processed at that instant was that my legs were in the path of a falling heavy and burning hot thing, so I moved them out of the way and then spent the next few seconds staring dumbly at mamaliga smeared all over the kitchen and quite a bunch of small enamel shards, thinking that can’t be real.
Unfortunately, it obviously was real, so I then spent the next half an hour cleaning up, during which time I also banged the area where my right kidney probably is against the side of the table while getting up once. Didn’t feel much at the moment, probably because I was still shocked, but a few minutes later it felt sort of like I had hit my balls...
As for the pot, cracked enamel and in one small spot chipped away, on the inside as well in the area that hit the floor first, so no longer usable… And was probably older than me...

Also remember another moment, I think before that, when a large bowl and a (glass) bottle and I think some utensils, maybe a large knife, possibly one or two other things too, can't recall for sure anymore, sort of started a domino reaction on the counter, heading down, and I tried to grab it all but ran out of hands, stopped something on my stomach but the large bowl still rolled past me, so I tried to cushion it a little with a foot, but ended up kicking it, quite hard, so instead of smashing on the floor it smashed against the cupboard first, and then the floor. At 1-2 AM or so. Parents were sleeping, but that sure changed that instant...

As for fires, there was one when I was little, not of my making, but I made it worse. Was at grandparents', they had put oil in a pot on the stove and let it heat up, but somebody came over and everyone went out to talk to that person and a bit later I noticed a flame in the pot, the oil was burning. So I did what seemed logical at the time, I knew you put out fire with water, so filled something with water and dumped it in the pot... Resulting in the flame billowing up instantly and me getting the image of it reaching the ceiling and the kitchen filling with black smoke (not sure how much of that was my fear adding to it though). Ran right out, flew down the stairs, landed in the middle of everybody screaming that the kitchen was burning, resulting in everybody, I think with grandpa at the head, rushing in the other direction to put it out. Matter was solved simply by covering the pot and turning off the stove of course, and they took the opportunity to teach me of an exception to the fight fire with water rule.

As for the game under 5.99... Current sale price, you mean? In that case, Mount & Blade: Warband
My foray into cooking began when I had chocolate chip pancakes. That was a good day. So I thought, I could make regular pancakes from scratch. You know? To start out and to avoid burnt chocolate. I always thought there was something fishy about pancake mixes so I thought this would be better.

Cracking an egg. That's what I did first or tried at least. I got little pieces of shells in the egg so it took 5-10 minutes just to get the pieces out.

Everything went alright after that but in the middle of the frying process, I realized I forgot the salt while re-checking the ingredients list. Who needs salt in pancakes? I thought. Wrong.

Nothing is black and white but you do need salt in pancakes. Always remember that.

Anyway, luckily I only made one pancake so far and I added salt while I still had batter left so they turned out alright. They turned out even better the next time. So all was well with the world. Still have trouble cracking an egg but gotta do it for the pancakes.

I'm in for Shadow Man for the game but it is excluded, from this sale at least.
Post edited June 14, 2018 by vidsgame
Kitchen Klutzes eh? The last incident that went by me recently is my instant noodles accident. Rather than an accident it's actually a kitchen pissed off. Some late night and I couldn't sleep. As a last resort, I'm gonna treat myself with a quick Indomie Goreng. Unhealthy yes, but better than spending the night with an empty stomach. After boiling the water, I open the pack and put the ramen to the boiling water. Unfortunately, the most important thing is missing. There was no seasoning and also there was no sauce pack. Do you expect me to just eat flavorless ramen? F that.
The only thing that can save the ramen into being a waste was to turned it to noodle omelette. Unfortunately you see, our fridge is bare cause we haven't stock our grocery and only 1 egg left. So I halfheartedly prepared it with only salt, pepper and some leftover packed chili sauce. And as I could only use 1 egg, it was a thin omelette not matching the thickness of the noodles. I barely eat it with appetite and the goal is not to waste any food.
Not in, but thanks for the generous giveaway! :)

And thanks all for sharing your funny stories!
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kizuxtheo: Not a huge cook story, but I remember when me and my neighbor were stupid kids, we thought that you could hard boil an egg in the microwave, so we just put an egg in the microwave (with a flimsy door) and... BOOM egg everywhere.
Haha, that's why all kids should play Zak McKracken; had you played that game as a kid you would have known better than to put eggs in microwaves unless you wanted them to explode. :D
Cavalary's story has reminded me of spaghetti incident (not related to Guns n' Roses album of same name) I had. When I was studying I liked to go to a evening or night run. Once while I was still running I realized that I was so hungry that I cannot wait to prepare meal so I asked my roommate over phone to put pasta in boiling water. I thought that I'll be just in time there to make very fast meal, and while it was cooling I could do stretching. That was the plan but it went so sour.

I had no strainer to remove water from pasta and I have drained it with lid and pair of kitchen rags over the sink like countless times before but this time my grip was insecure and pot turned to other side. Boiling hot pastry poured to my left foot. I have immediately soaked affected foot in stream of cold running water.

I went to ER afterwards and was first degree burn, painful but not serious. They just gave me advice not to put anything over burn and to wait till morning and to go to my general practitioner. Actually it is good to put some ointment if burn is not to great, especially one made of pot marigold, swine fat also helps healing a lot. My GP has told me that next day when it was to late, I already had huge blister and burn has worsened to second degree. I had terrible pain, was one legged for days. To ease pain i have acquired some extremely hot peppers form a friend and chewed them every now and then. Capsaicin, active component of chili peppers helps to ease the pain by overloading your pain receptors. I had slight burning in my mouth and digestive system but at least pain in foot was manageable.

It was probably my klutziest kitchen moment but I have recovered fully in about month.
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drmike: National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day
Sewing Machine Day
Weed Your Garden Day
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Lexor: Really? How come these exist?
I kept the links in there. They should drop you on a page explaining the holiday and, if known, how it came about.

Also of interest:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/weird-holidays-and-their-origin-stories_us_5a5916f9e4b03c41896585fb

edit: Oh and happy International Axe Throwing Day.
Post edited June 14, 2018 by drmike
Happy World Blood Donor Day!