Granted, but just before your departure you're stopped at customs and your baggage checked thoroughly. Police finds out in your carry enough drugs to ensure that you spend the rest of your life in a Thai prison...

I wish to have a perfect, eidetic memory.

Done. You remember everything as though it had just happened; including all the bad events you had to face in life.

I wish the snow was blue.

Granted but it never snows again... ever

I wish I had a wabbit called wesley

Granted, but its wabbit season

I wish...for a sandvich

Granted however you have no mouth to eat it

I wish women weren't so bitchy.

Impossible!!

However I will grant you deafness to female voices....

I wish I could be in Tennessee this Friday.

Granted, you die from a chicken bone in your throat. Your coffin will be mailed to Tennessee in a private jet. Ceremony starts at 5 pm, thank you very much.

I wish for a God fearing wife..

Granted - You are now married to Tammy Faye Baker ;-)

I wish the snow would all melt.

Granted, you receive one snowflake.

I wish to play chess with Shodan.

^ Granted.

The pathetic creature of meat and bone is now locked into a game of Death Chess with Shodan.

I wish the weekend were longer.

Granted, but you get all the weekend shifts.

I wish I could use the force

Granted. You now have the power to electrocute yourself with force lightning, whenever you wish.

I wish I was taller.

^ Granted, but you have to wear your old clothes.

I wish I had normal 20/20 vision.

Granted but none of your other senses work at all - you can't hear, you have no sense of touch, you have never smelled the the aroma of a bakery or the stench of a fart and maybe worst of all, your taste buds never allow you to have a favorite food or drink - you just eat anything put in front of you.

I wish I was as excited about System Shock 2 as what seems like the majority of people here are. (was incredibly unknowlegeable about this game until the last 2-3 days).