Granted, now everyone is bored with their perfect lives.
Edit: Someone already said that. Well, then:
I wish to travel in time (future and past) whenever I slap my finger.

Granted, but you will teleport on the exact same location..... while earth and the universe keep moving as usual (so it means you can either appear on outer space, or other country, or worse inside the earth.... or people).

I wish I own a green lantern power ring.

Granted. Welcome to GL Corps.

Now you are facing and army of Black Lanterns alone.


I wish for time traveling sentient horse
edit:
just to point out. there is no such thing as the exact location. the movement of things is only in relations to other things. we don't move through space in relations to the space. we move in relations to the star, to the other stars, galaxies etc.
:P
just nitpicking.

Granted. Though Ed, your new time traveling sentient horse companion, is a complete idiot and unable to ever find the right time stream. He is also the most obnoxious travel mate you could imagine and you'll try to throttle him in under just 2 hours, only to discover that he is perfectly immune to any attack. Ed is quite irritated by your outbreak and instantly vanishes into another time stream - leaving you stranded in a neverending nothing between the planes outside of time...


My wish :
I don't know that feeling because i lack the proper brain structure, but i want to feel genuinely happy forever.

Granted. It was weird seeing how happy you was in your friend's funeral.
I wish to meet some of you guys IRL.

Granted, I'm going to meet you tonight. Oh, and you can call me with my other nickname, the Boston Strangler.

I wish I can play guitar well.

Granted, you will have a great time, but you will be so drunk that you will be hit by a bus on way back home.


Granted, but every time you want to play in front of someone/record it you forget everything.


I wish they fix my camera tomorrow.

Granted but you will look like a proper idiot on every single photo taken by that camera

I wish I had a cup of coffee!

Granted,but the cup is empty.

I wish that the last poster had made a wish.

Oops.

Granted,but the wish is kinda boring.

I wish had icecream

Granted, but it freezes you on contact.
I wish that I was the star of Highlander

Granted, but it's only an hour left until they come to harvest your organs that you donated yesterday.

I wish babies could change themselves.
Granted, but you're struck by lightening in the closing scene.

Granted.
From now on, babies "change" in your presence - into mindless killing machines that poo you to death and suckle your brains out.


I wish i hadn't been bit last Tuesday by a rabid bat because when Peter Parker was bit, he turned into Spiderman but that bite by the bat did not turn me into Batman.