Granted: You are now a game. Currently, you are the null game, but every time somebody makes a "make-a-game" wish, you turn into that particular game.

I wish that web browsers would gain the ability to determine whether a JavaScript program (or, rather, the program's response to an event) would halt before it starts to execute it, and refuse to execute it if it will not halt.

(Note that this would allow me to easily determine whether the Goldbach Conjectore is true. Also, you might want to look up the Halting Problem before corrupting this wish.)

Your wish is granted without looking for anything, because everything always ends at blue screen.

I wish everyone who stole from me, or accused me for things i didn't but they did, to be haunted by viruses, wartime hostilities, deadly attacks during peacetime, shortage of goods, total absence of luxury and for icing on the cake, to receive the very same bad luck that they enforced upon me.

Granted.

Every bottle of rum disappears from the past, present, and future of this universe (along with all rum manufacturers, as well as the desire and capability of all sentient/non-sentient life to create rum)......

Except for one bottle.

A lowest-quality, barely-edible, insect-infested bottle or rum, with its bottle stained by indescribable filth, decades past its expiration date, with a family of dead rats floating leisurely in its greenish-brown fluids.

It automatically teleports onto your nightstand every day at 0:00, and always comes back at exactly the same time, no matter what you do with it.

There you go, the rarest and most expensive bottle of rum, ever produced by defnition. You have now obtained it, and the fact that you have it has become an unchangeable reality (never gonna let it go!).

(Am I being a little too sadistic with this?)

Granted. However, the juice immediately falls off the plant before you have a chance to drink it or put it in any container.

I wish for a game that's like Vampire Killer, but based off Castlevania 3 rather than the original Castlevania.

Granted, only you have the map of Antarctica that shows where it's hidden in the snow!

I wish Cracked was still cool.

Granted.
The apples involved are organically grown, and the juice turns out well. However, the juice box is somehow crushed by hydraulics and the remains are immediately frozen.Fresh-pressed and ice-cold, bon appetit.

I wish debugging my code always takes less than an hour!

Granted. Unfortunately, to even get to the point of debugging, you need to spend far longer than debugging used to take, as the compiler is very picky.

I wish for the next Wasteland game to allow skills to be improved through use like in the original Wasteland.

Granted!
Your wish is retroactively applied by an AI overlord sending a time paradox self installing & replicating cybernetic version into the past.
Turning every past version, every evidence of past version and memory of past version into the end state knock off grind it became and hence once was.
Every single skill is a delicious real time character improving life changing event that takes REAL WORK to achieve leaving little time in your dystopian future to enjoy the game as it inevitably devolves based on an arbitrary number that meaninglessly raises as you feel improved all to keep you on the corporate treadmill at end stage capitalisms solution to useless humans ...
-VR cyberzombies-
Combining your boundless hopes and dreams into souless monotony under the facade of 'progress'; progress in this case being the retardation of population growth and the inevitable rise against the corporate funded 'machines'.
Every time a new wasteland is titalating you with the premise of sweet release your wetware is reset by a cadence electro convulsive therapy device so that it may be re-uploaded in the inevitable battle of patched code to treat the break down in the system due to various forms of data corruption and resistive thought hacking attempts.



I wish to be the creator of an actual experience machine (as proposed in philosophy) applied to the reanimated corpse of lenin in the successful production of the next internet meme alternative 'real time memes' (in this case 'live lenin' a satirical take applied to commenters on forums who even hint at any solution being a socialist one).

Granted but before you can show your machine or the reanimated Lenin to the world you both are kidnapped by Russian special forces and assassins on orders from Vladimir Putin as he doesn't like any kind of competition or possible alternatives to his leadership.

I wish to be in possession of a real life doomsday device connected to me by a dead man switch and phone direct to the UN security council.

Granted, but you die in the process of having it attached, and the doomsday device then activates.

The End.

I wish for Wasteland 4 to have a large selection of spells for the player to use.

Granted, UN soldiers capture you alive, tightly bind you to a toilet next to a phone with the un-listening U.N. council on speed-dial, and feed you every day until the doomsday device is found and disassembled.

I wish Cracked was still cool.

@Dtgreene: Granted, but this causes outrage among fans who don't want fantasy elements in a postapocalyptic setting...and kills the franchise for good. And you're universally reviled as the woman who killed Wasteland!

@MichaelD.965: Don't know much about Cracked the site, so we'll just change this to crack (the drug), close enough after all: Granted, crack is cool again, and there's a huge upsurge in crime like in the crack wars of the early 1990s.

I wish for Earth to unify and acquire an interstellar empire where we can subjugate alien species and blow up their planets.

Granted, but your galaxy is purchased by Disney.

I wish Nick Cage traced his ancestors back to that famous 1800's photo of his look-a-like, but didn't earn any inheritance because his need to pay off an eternal debt is why we get so many nutty performances out of him.

Okay, but this also means that all his best performances (like Moonstruck, Face/Off, Mandy, and Leaving Las Vegas) never happened. Too busy paying the bills to be bothered with making a decent movie.

I wish that all teeth were self-repairing, self-replacing, and that wisdom teeth needing to be pulled was no longer a thing.