Granted it also shrinks itself.

I wish computer code could debug itself.

Granted, but you don't want to get yourself, so you don't wear clothes. Your clothes will never get dirty and so no washing required.

Granted, computer code can code itself to bug you to debug it. They will bug you non-stop.

I wish clothing made of leaves would become common.

Granted, but said clothing is notoriously fragile, and ends up having to become outlawed.

I wish that the original Castlevania would appear on GOG.

Granted, but the Vampire association sues Gog for promoting a hate game and eventually Gog is ordered by court to remove the game from its shop.

I wish for radical life extension (living to 500 years in health and youth) to become a reality in my lifetime.

Granted, but in order for it to work, you have to start young, where "young" means "significantly younger than you". This means that you never actually get to see the results of this.

I wish for a game similar to Castlevania 2, except that enemies are stronger during the day instead of during the night.

Granted, it's a sprawling sci-fantasy epic/side-scrolling metroidvania where the enemies are mobile/hostile plants with all assortment of nefarious thorn, wood, or chemical weapons; a morality system keeps you guessing which quest is worth the environmental devastation you would cause; and character creation begins with a choice of several dozen species of animal and over 100 robot designs. Unfortunately, it was programmed by Todd Howard, marketed by Peter Molyneux, and written by Motomu Toriyama.

(Maybe it'll actually get corrupt this time) I wish to have offline bot-filled versions of every online shooter; remember, THAT I AM ALONE IS APART OF THE APPEAL.

Granted. However, the bot AI needs to analyze the behavior of your human opponents to work; in other words, in order for you to play against said bots, you must first play online against other people. Furthermore, some of those other people have learned how the AI works and intentionally play in such a way that results in your bots being rather unfun to play against.

I wish for Final Fantasy 2 to be remade with Final Fantasy 3's job system, and for Final Fantasy 3 to be remade with Final Fantasy 2's growth system.

Granted. There are no programmers in Final Fantasy 3's job system, so the Final Fantasy 2 remake will never be made. Without FF2 finished, the remake of FF3 will forever stay an idea, scribbled on a coffee stained Post-It note. There, you destroyed the Final Fantasy franchise...

I wish for Post-It notes to stick where you put them.

Granted, but they're stuck there forever; you can't take them off!

I wish that the self-described "hardcore gamers" would not look down on more casual gamers who might, for example, choose to play on a lower difficulty. Furthermore, I wish the games would not punish players for playing on said easier difficulty.

Granted, in fact to end discrimination against casual gamers there's legislation ("Gaming equality act") that games are only to have one difficulty setting, which has no challenge at all and can be finished by anyone. As a result games are now little more than walking simulators. Rpgs with complex systems disappear completely.

I wish that Gog returns to its original anti-DRM values and proves its commitment by declaring a bloody crusade against Steam and enlisting forum users as holy warriors for the cause of free gaming.

Granted. Unfortunately, somebody else already drank that bottle, so all you get is the bottle, not the contents.

Or:

Granted. You get a very expensive bottle. However, the rum inside it is cheap garbage, as it's only the bottle, not the contents.

I wish for an RPG in which the maximum party size is 0. (Note that games where you control a single character don't count, as said games have a party size of 1, not 0.)

Granted (1), Intro movie, the villain kills everybody, credits, END.
Granted (2), it's called Corona RPG, no parties allowed!!!

I wish there will be a a VR Remake of the System Shock Remake. (When it's done.)

Granted, but ironically enough an artificial intelligence takes over the vr system and turns you and other players into mindless cyborgs. But hey, that's actually pretty close to the System Shock experience!

I wish for world peace!

Granted, war ceases across the globe, but only because all high-energy animals (namely ants and apes) are extinct.

I wish every "make-a-game" corruption in this thread was as creative as what I did up there with the evil plants.