Granted, but they're still addictive; in fact, they're addictive to the point where, if you try to stop eating them, you experience withdrawal symptoms.

I wish that smartphones would get physical keyboards again, and that they would also be found in smaller tablet-sized devices.

Granted, now every smartphone is the size of a medical tablet and you need a microscope to type on the keyboard.

I wish blood-sucking insects never existed.

Granted. However, organisms with blood never existed, and as a result, humans never existed, meaning that your wish was never made (because you never existed).

I wish for all militaries in the world to be simultaneously disbanded.

Granted, but all the tyrants get straight to work on creating new armies and use them to conquer and enslave the world.

I wish video games were never developed with online features.

Granted, the internet never leaves the military's solo usage.

I wish utilities suppliers actual gave the level service they advertise themselves as offering

Your wish comes true at twice the price.

We repeatedly hear that diamonds are a girl's best friend, but I wish to hear what diamonds have to say about that.

Granted, Diamonds are very unhappy about this saying as they are an entirely homosexual geode. That is why you often find then glued to likes of Liberace or Elton John.

I wish to know how George Washington feels about being on a lowly denomination note compered to Ben Franklin who was never even President.

Granted, you know how he feels. Everytime you want to tell someone you are interrupted.

I wish all people knew basic math.

Granted, it's the only education anyone is ever able to learn again.

I wish for everyone to love learning and for the world to be no less full of things to learn about.

Granted, but everyone does nothing but learn, neglecting everything else, leading to the extinction of the human race.

I wish for the ability to instantly learn anything I want, Matrix style.

Granted, but you end up "learning" things that are not true, and later notice that your knowledge includes contradictions.

There was going to be a character in The Matrix who would be a man in the real world but a woman in the matrix. I with they had gone ahead with that concept instead of changing this character to be a woman in both worlds.

Granted, nothing at all changes about the script; but the male actor who most resembles Harry Potter's Quidditch teacher is later revealed to have sexually assaulted the Trinity actress and was a terrible actor anyway.

I wish talent and skill were the only metrics that anyone was hired for any job.

Wish granted. All positions are now occupied by skilled dancers who perform their tasks at varying degrees of success.

I wish the black hole at the center of our galaxy turned into a rapidly spining GEODE seeking to distance itself from all visible matter.

Granted, but black holes are an important part of the Universe's natural cycle, as they spit out Hawking radiation which recombines into new matter and their gravity is what makes spiral galaxies possible. Without its biggest black hole, the Milky Way comes apart and we're left with only our own solar system to colonize; astronomical research slows to a crawl and the Voyagers are denied any hope of finding life.

I wish celestial objects were much closer together with altered physics to make it just as safe, just so space-travel and research could happen much faster and more easily.

Granted, but alien biological material, viruses, bacteria move faster and more easily as well.

I wish to know how the Heisenberg compensator works so I can have the monopoly on teleportation.