Okay, but because of all the changes required, now every single physics equation you ever learned no longer holds true. Better start cracking the books; you have A LOT of catching up to do.

Edit, since I was ninja'd:

Unfortunately, you find the answers you seek the hard way: by being stuck inside a transporter buffer for 70 years or so, à la Mr. Scott.


I wish we could figure out how to forecast the weather with 100% accuracy.

Granted, but the teleporter mixes your DNA with that of everything in your micro-biome and you slowly transform into a blob full of still-working human organs.

I wish producers never got it in their heads to interfere with the creative process, which is notoriously the death-knell of every major franchise in any medium.

Granted. Producers, no longer able to justify their jobs, go extinct and the game industry slowly follows.

Wish the Library of Alexandria hadn't burnt down.

Granted, but weather-predicting machines also cause extreme pollution; it's the quantum conundrum applied to weather.

Granted, the invaders avoid it until the rest of the city is in ruin, and then control the information available.

I wish we could be alerted when someone else is posting.

Granted, you are alerted by an electric shock to your keyboard.

I wish for Latin to be the official language for all EU business.

Granted, but the rest of Europe has their own Brexit, which kills the E.U.

I wish journalism wasn't hijacked by super-villains.

Granted, the super-villains are displaced by an even worse force, journalism is now controlled by shape-shifting lizard aliens who want to turn Earth into a giant meat factory.

I wish for Microsoft to repent of its sins and make Windows 7 available again as an operating system.

Granted, it can be used but it is no longer is updated and so no new functionality or security patches are made for it, kinda like now.

I wish Kek-W and Dave Kendall would hurry up with publishing the Deadworld comic (not the zombie one) series

Granted. They hurry. It's rubbish.

Wish all the nukes were safely disposed of.

Granted, they safely disposed by the standards of the old Soviet Union, dumped into the Barents Sea and hope they go away.

I wish Saber-toothed cat did not go extinct, were domesticated and now could be kept as pets.

Granted, everybody's profile pic is now a saber-toothed cat and their names all include "saber-toothed cat". On all websites worldwide.

I wish everybody's profile pic was a mugshot. On all websites worldwide.

Granted, stalking and identity theft skyrocket, however people are far more civilised on forums and wired fetish porn sites are only visited by true diehards.

I wish to know what Charles Babbage would make of modern computers, internet and information tec in general.

Granted, except for the fact that he is sentenced to chemical castration for doing so, much the way Alan Turing was.

(Wait, what?)

I wish for a modern handheld computer. (In particular, this handheld computer must have a display, a physical keyboard, internet access, and fit in a pocket or purse.)

Granted, but you discover after connecting all your social media accounts on it that it's pre-loaded with gore pictures and videos made by the previous owner. Worst of all, every victim is somebody you once knew in the past.

I wish to know if I accidentally made a winning horror movie premise.

Granted, but that premise involves something killing you.

You are now deceased until someone can find a cure for deceaseness.

I wish that death were only a temporary condition, that anybody who died would come back to life at some point in the future.