Whales don't use phones, so there's no phone-whales. Therefore, all 0 phone-whales have, indeed, been sent to rehab. (In other words, your wish did nothing.)

I wish for a number of dollars equal to the second smallest even prime.

PARADOX ALERT All primes are odd, so as to not be divided by 2; your wish is invalid.

I wish for a glitch-less VR console that's backwards-compatible with every game ever made.

Granted, but without the glitches, people start to think it’s real and eventually we end up as comatose bodies in a goo-vat with wires on our heads.

Wish an alien race made it’s presence obvious to all. Then maybe we would all start working together.

Granted, humans work together, but it doesn't matter at all, humanity is squashed like a bug by the hyper-advanced lizard aliens.

I wish for seven beautiful girlfriends (one for each day of the week), who fulfill all my wishes, sexual, culinary and otherwise.

Granted, but you have a heart condition and every time you start to get a stiffy, your heart stars failing.

Wish the Red Dwarf justice field was real.

Granted.

Unfortunately, before that happens, some terrorist group adopts the letter H, usually posted on the forehead, as their symbol. That group manages to take over a nation, perform genocide (think Hitler and Nazi concentration camps), start a world war, and is then defeated in the war. After that, the symbol acquires a huge cultural stigma, much like the swastika.

It is then, after that, that you meat your demise. You are revived as you wish, but are then treated with hostility by the majority of the population.

I wish my comments about the terrorist group in this post were not so plausable.

Granted, the terrorist group still takes over a nation, starts a world war and commits genocide, but instead of the letter "H" they're using mathematical symbols as their sign. Because of this, people with mathematical interests - like you - are viewed as potential mass murderers after the end of the war and heavily discriminated against.

I wish to be a successful author of bestselling novels.

Granted, but all your most successful novels involve at least one scene where the plot is accomplished by extremely illegal activities, the kind that even ultra-grim R movies avoid.

I wish Kathleen Kennedy was never involved in any movie.

Granted: The wish granter finds someone named Kathleen Kennedy who is not an actress, and who hasn't appeared in any movie. Therefore, the wish is granted by doing nothing.

(By the way, I don't know who Kathleen Kennedy was.)

I wish I could exchange Zimbabwe Dollars, particularly those at the worst point in the hyper-inflation period, to US Dollars at a 1:1 exchange rate.

[Kennedy is a Hollywood producer, now überboss of everything Star Wars.]

Wish granted. The downside is that you do not have any, nor are you likely to acquire any for anything less than one American dollar.

I wish that Jupiter was replaced by a red dwarf, for variety.

Granted, but the suddenly shallow gravity well flings most of Jupiter's moons across the solar system and Titan in particular collides with Earth, destroying all complex life on both (that's right, BOTH).

In the wake of that, I wish to be in-charge of evolution from that point forth.

Granted, but you're such an "unintelligent designer" that life never evolves beyond bacteria again.

I wish to be boss of the Gog forum, so that every Gog user has to send me regular money, gift me games etc. or has his/her account terminated.

Granted; every male or female member of the forums has their account terminated, resulting in you not getting any money or games.

The remaining members of the forum, then, stage a rebellion and a petition that gets you removed from the forum.

I wish for a coscubus to go with the sincubus I found in the game I'm playing right now. Also, maybe a tancubus while we're at it.

Granted, but this starts a huge discussion about video games promoting satanism and being demoniacal. When the anti-gamer movement comes to power a few years later, they're building on that foundation to enact gamer genocide.

I wish for the abolition of Facebook, Twitter and all other social media.