Wish granted, but when someone hears the sound, this person becomes deaf.

I wish to be a fish.

Granted, but you are unable to swim or breathe water.

I have already granted this one, but I thought of a different corruption:

Samantha sees you, and you see Samantha, but that person has changed. He has cut his hair short, now has facial hair, and his voice is deep. He tells you that he now goes by the name Samuel and by male pronouns.

I wish for Elminage 3 to receive a PC port, and for that port to be released on GOG.

Wish granted but it is exclusive to Humble Bundle, DRM-Free, not gog compatible.

Gimme back my Sammy and i swear, even if she becomes a male i won't snap, i want my Sammy baaack she even proposed us to travel together to new York this Christmas (from summer), i want her baaaaack :'(

(you really should give up on the whole Samantha thing) Granted, BUT, you become a dog and Samantha loves you unconditionaly as she has no knowledge of what/who you were. Any attempt to show her who you were ends up looking like your trying to lick your anus.

Wish that Taylor Swift had real tallent.

Granted! Now she have talent enough to become a chef!

I wish to able to read the mind of humans.

Granted, but your mind reading also interprets any actions performed by the subject as actions that you perform; hence, whoever's mind you're reading can control you this way.

I wish for a typeless wish; that is, a wish that lacks the usual restrictions on wishes (in particular, a typeless wish can be used to wish for more wishes).

Doesn't seems a very bad corruption of my wish! Still useful.

I'd love to grant your wish but I can't as I'm typing less.

I wish that I could legally kill and torture people, I wish I could use a cordless drill and drill holes into their skulls while they were tied up.

I also wish I could slowly remove their genitalia with a butter knife.

Granted, BUT, the people you kill are your imaginary friends only....all three of them, over and over. Your one seriously deranged individual that needs serious mental aid as well as perscrition drugs..... you see yourself as killing people drilling holes into their head then removing their genitailia... it becomes such a compulsion that you eat said genatalia and only that.... all the while bouncing off the rubber walls of your cell and while confined in your straight jacket. on the pluss side your form of illness is now classified as Keetus, and you become a household word, IE "Are you going Kleetus?" or "don't be such a Kleetus!"

I Wish Dogs could talk.

Wish granted but only you could hear them talk.

I wish I had a Batcave full of all of Batman's stuff.

Granted, but it's under attack from all of the batman villains. Yes, including Calendar Man.

I wish that I wasn't always covered in dog hair.

Granted, you are now covered in canine pubic fur.

Wherever you go, dogs try to sniff your arse and copulate with you.

I wish people would sniff my arse.

Granted, however when they sniff your arse, they immediately become suppositories that go into your butthole.

I wish I could be rid of procrastination.

Granted, but you instead find yourself overworked and end up dying as a result. (There's an actual Japanese term for this: karoshi.)

I wish for another game soundtrack that is as good as the one from the remake of Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap.