Granted: you now have an unlimited source of income by contantly having your money being stolen.

Unfortunately,since you are now an anomaly, you, your house, and the thief have been relocated to a secure location owned by the SCP Foundation, where you will spend the rest of your life, and all your money and extra income will go to fund their research on you and other anomalies. Enjoy your new life, unless you die on a event of containment breach. After all, the cell is individual, but the building houses many, MANY, other fun friends.

I wish I had the power to alter reality at my will anywhere, anytime, and with or without the presence of anyone or anything.

Granted, you die and then appear at your solicitor's office to alter your will.

Unfortunately, you died destitute so there was nothing to alter and nobody was present.

I wish that I die rich and everyone tries to kill each other for my money.

Something gets warped, and the wish hits the wrong targets. Instead, it hits the user whose forum title contains both the words "Pride" and "Wrath", as well as all those who would be allied with said person, including much of the U.S. government. As a result of all this, the US congress is unable to have a quorum (and therefore unable to pass laws), and the presidency is effectively vacant. (For some reason, those affected, while unable to perform the duties of office, are still counted as being able to perform said duties.) As a result, the US government is effectively fully shut down until the next election, at which point the Republicans aren't able to win any seats (hence, the House is 100% Democrat).

I wish that all countries in the world would abolish all limits on emigration and immigration. I further wish I knew why "immigration" has 2 m's, but "emigration" has 1.

Granted, everyone moves into your house and kicks you out.

You are left homeless and alone, with only trusty Kleetus at your side.

I wish I could stay at other people's homes for free and for as long as I wanted.

Because one is in and the other is out, duh.

Granted, but something changed in your mind: You know longer want to stay at anybody else's house.

I wish for somebody to complete a glitchless speedrun of Daggerfall.

Granted, it was so fast it couldn't be recorded and you didn't get to see it.

I wish my scrotum was really big and elastic so I could stretch it over me to keep me warm and protected from the elements.

Wish granted, unfortunately you are also protected from oxygen.
Self-suffocation via scrotum is horrific way to die, but everyone else had a good laugh at your misfortune.

I wish that Cleveland Mark Blakemore never got into video game development.

Granted,now instead he is your best buddy and permanent room mate.


I wish I was marooned on an island with the ten most beautiful women in the world.

Granted, but it turns out that they're incredibly bad at "activities", if you will.

I wish for more communism. Bowser Communism.

You took part in the Bowser revolution but then were purged and disappeared into a Koopa gulag.

I wish Steam was made DRM-free.

Granted, Steam puts in more DRM for free.

I wish that I were known as Sir Kleetus and was given every honour in the world.

Granted. You are now given all the honors in the world, including "murderer", "pedophile", and many other undesirable honors.

I wish that every Nazi and neo-Nazi would have to endure, firsthand, the horrors of being a prisoner in a World War 2 era Nazi death camp.

Granted, unfortunately for you they mistook your avatar as an SS emblem and threw you in a prison camp, where sadly you slowly perished from starvation.

I wish everyone gave me their money so I could spend it all on prostitutes and pizzas for myself.

Wish granted but the escorts are Gilfs and the pizzas spoiled/rotten.

I wish for the big sales to come here soon!