Granted, but a national speed limit is instated, rendering the quickness rather useless.

I wish I had a self driving vehicle and the laws needed to have one operating.

Granted, but the vehicle's software has a non-reproduceable bug (if you're a programmer, you know what that means) that results in a crash. After the crash, your specific model of car is declared no longer street legal and is recalled until the bug can be found and reproduced, leaving you without a legal car for an extended period of time.

I wish there were a reliable way to reproduce all computer bugs so they can be reliably debugged.

Granted, but there are far more than anticipated so the debuggers are hopelessly behind in addressing them for months if not years

I wish that all spiders and snakes were harmless to humans, pets, and livestock

Granted. Lord Tara causes a worldwide flood, and all of humanity perishes.

I wish for a dog that can comb its own fur.

Granted, but not only does it now look like a hipster, your dog also acts like one too and snobs you.

I wish the missing titles from Nordic Games finally make it onto GOG.

Granted, but they lack Windows support; only Mac and Linux games are available.

I wish for a game similar to Ultima 3, and not to any other game in the Ultima series. (Also, that game can't actually be Ultima 3.)

Edit: Added a clarification in parenthesis.

Granted! I have modified the code of Ultima 3 by one character in a section that was commented out. Enjoy your game that technically isn't Ultima 3!

I wish for the world to be slightly more bureaucratic.

If you want this wish granted, you need to go to the Department of Wish Statements, get your wish signed and notorized, then go to the Department of Wish Authorization, get your wish authorized and stamped, then go to the Department of Wish Granting, only to learn that you made a small mistake in the wish (you failed to specify which world) and it can't be granted. Then, you need to play Dragon Wars, and in that game, you need to reach Lansk Undercity without first entering the main area of the Underworld. (For anyone who hasn't played Dragon Wars, the town of Lansk is a parody of bureaucracy. I do seriously recommend playing Dragon Wars if you haven't.)

Edit: I wish for the world to be slightly *less* bureaucratic.

Wish granted. Illegal immigrants overthrow law and order establishing their own Caliphate of chaos and terror. Everything is directed by executioners, priests and bloodthirsty sheeple.

I wish everyone who molests a girl without her consent to be mutilated.

Granted. You have been mutilated, as it turns out that you have done that in the past, even if you didn't realize it.

I wish more PC developers would consider making their games compatible with low spec computers such as netbooks.

Granted, but they literally only consider it and they don't do it because in the end they would end up working twice as hard to make their games compatible with systems that become obsolete quite fast.

I wish for... Hmmmmmmmmmmm... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... I wish for a non lethal yet paunful engineered plague that only affects those with extremist political ideologies (Far left, far right, third wave feminism, Sharia law, Neo Nazi ideologies, fascism, Maoist comunism not unlike that of Pol Pot, National Socialism, Stalinism, Cultural marxism, gender theory, political correctness, etc.) with the only cure being the abandonment of such adieologies and seeking balance.

Oh dear, the plague you wished for is now affecting you. Aren't you regretting that wish now that you are full of pauns (in other words, peacocks)?

I wish for a Developer Q&A with the person who wrote Dragon Wars.

Granted, but all questions except yours get answered.

I wish for Hentai to no longer be censored, both in Japan and the rest of the world.

Granted, but it triggers the prudes and leads to a bigger culture war which is already taking place. This makes in turn smaller culture wars look like nothing. The wrold divides between pro censorship and anti censorship, and pro censorship people start to become more and more like an authoritarian state.


Disclaimer: I hereby declare that dtgreene is no longer allowed to respond to my posts if the response implies politics, just as I have refrained to respond to the user's posts when it leads to politics at this point.

I wish for a world in which no form of expression within the realm of fiction is frowned or forbidden in any form. This includes but is not only composed of comicbooks, literature, film, video games, drawings, paintings, and any other form of fictional content as long as no real life individuals taking part in the production are physically or psychologically harmed (Hurt feelings do not count a psychological harm, psychological harm refers to actual torture practices such as isolation and coercitive interrogation). The content no longer censored includes but is not only composed of, fictional depictions, drawn, digital, narrated, ennacted (with willing mentally mature participants or as a dramatizated account with props) and literary of rape, torture, deviant sexual acts, murder, dismemberment, immolation, mutilaion, all paraphillias known to sapient lifeforms, drug consumption, robbery, and any other imaginable act both benefical or not. As a precaution of course such media would be regulated but not censored to prevent access of such material to those not mature enough to handle with it.

Lengthy wish, but since it kind of meddles in legal affairs I had to write it as such to make sure there are no exceptions but safety measures are take not reduce harm.