Wish granted. Now people believe trans women are genderless aliens from outer space, but not those gray ones.

I wish for Rasputin's dick in formaldehyde jar to become anointed into a christian orthodox relic with obligatory tributes, dedicated liturgies and litanies, complete with holy water sprinkling.

http://www.altpenis.com/news/rasputin.shtml

Granted. A jar was constructed out of formaldehyde to put the penis into, only for the penis to escape before the anointment, as formaldehyde is not solid.

I wish that a well known Pokemon speedrunner would publically transition from male to female. (This apparently just happened with a Zelda speedrunner.)

All right. But she learns to take her time, and as a result decides to retire from doing speedruns.

I wish big sales didn't make trying to connect to this site so hit-or-miss.

Granted. Big sales now make trying to connect to this site a miss. Every time.

I wish for cheesecake.

Wish granted, but it has no cheese.

I wish i could pet a big cat for once.

Granted, but as you started to pet a big cat, your current pet left you because of the lack of attention you now gave to your current pet.

I wish in this world, patriotic politicians would have more loyal people supporting them while those politicians who only cared about money would not have any.

Granted, but patriotism leads to nationalism which in turn leads to rivalries between countries which in turn leads to war. World War 3 breaks out.

I wish for a glitch to be found in Zelda: Ocarina of Time that allows the intro to be skipped.

Granted. The rain stops, the temperature drops to -40, and it begins to snow.

I wish that Microsoft would offer free Windows 10 upgrades to XP users.

Granted. Not only you get free Windows 10 upgrade, but an apology as well. Though there is one big bad bug in that upgrade and once you install it, your computer just fries.

I wish I understood and could program Java like I was born knowing it.

Wish granted, but soon after mastering Java, you create a Javazon in Diablo 2 and never again return to Java.

I wish i could find a rare (yellow), Elder weapon of Extraordinary Luck, in Victor Vran!

Granted, but the game crashes before your finding progress is saved.

I wish I could disable my olfactory sense in some situations.

Easy-peasy. Your olfactory sense automatically turns itself off whenever you're around cake.

I wish I knew how to cook a turkey.

Granted, but unfortunately your oven breaks down, preventing you from actually cooking it.

I wish for a game like Wizardry 4, but easier. (Note that Wizardry 4 plays very differently from the rest of the series.)

Granted. The game is almost a cutscene now. You just have to sit down and watch for over 60 hours of "gameplay".

I wish I could be able to drive a car.