Wish granted, but only the Empire can, will and is able to recruit you; you agree to this fact unconditionally!

I wish there wasn't such a thing as puberty for cats; my cute, lovely, adorable orange tabby, has transformed into a devil from hell, instead of being a playful angel, it now bites me all the time so hard, that i am in danger of serious wounds!

Granted. Kittens now turn overnight into adult tigers.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

The witch in charge of your wish doesn't know what "fetish" means and therefore misunderstands your wish, replacing your friend's sex organs.

I wish for Russia to repeal the law that makes it illegal to tell children that gay people exist.

Granted. However, it is now illegal to tell gay people that children exist.

I wish I could remember where I left my car keys.

Granted, but unfortuantely the wish-granter also told a thief who got to your keys first.

I wish that people would realize that allowing transgender people into the bathroom associated with their gender identity is the right thing to do (and in particular, that trans women are far more likely to be victims than aggressors in women's bathrooms).

Wish granted, but now rapists and perverts wear fake transgender outfits and paraphernalia, in order to invade girls' bathrooms! What a great chance!

I wish nature to keep avenging her wise self, where and when ANYONE defies her and harms her.

Granted, but civilization has come to an end and humans have become extinct.

(Also, what is a "transgender outfit"? That term makes absolutely no sense.)

I wish that people wouldn't forget that transgender men (that is, people assigned female at birth but identify as male) exist.

Wish granted. But their encounter rate is so slim, that is like non-existent. 99%, females are perfectly aware of their gender identity and sexual orientation, unlike men. And there are more homo females, or even better, bi, than transgendered ones who decide to become like men.

I wish for Witcher Arena to see a pc release.

Granted, but the game comes together with loads of input lags, bugs, and glitches.

I wish to have a real personal assistant like Cortana.

Granted, but your assistant will listen to you only if you are in the United States.

I wish Cooking Mama for Android was translated into Klingon.

Granted, but it doesn't do well and the Klingon version is removed from the store.

I wish for a game to be released that uses original D&D (that is, pre-AD&D) rules.

Wish granted, but you and only you, get the worst possible dice rolls, ever. And no, there is no other gender option than male or female.

I wish my money to turn to ash and become a chokehold, on people who took them away from me with trickery, without offering me back some kind of fair trade.

Granted, but your money also turned to ashes on those people who did fair trades with you and choke them until their last breath

I wish to have a better ball handling skill like Kyrie Irving.

Granted. You will have the same ball handling skills as Kyrie Irving....in baseball.

I wish someone I know would buy me food once in a while.