Granted. Unfortunately most of them change into even worse elements.

I wish more people would invest a little more time and effort into recycling.

Granted; all the carbon and nitrogen from several billion years ago is exchanged for cesium and osmium. Life is no longer able to form properly without proper base elements. Earth is a wasteland.

I wish I had a million dollar's worth of monkeys.

Granted. Your interest in monkeys has made the price of monkey sky-rocket, however, and you end up with seven eights of a monkey. As the price plummets towards the previous level, you try to sell your monkey parts, only to discover that they've started to rot. Unfortunately you're still one million dollars in debt.

I wish they'd lower the speed limit by 50% outside my house, approximately 100 meters in both directions.

Granted, but some people let those big scary dogs out that scare people to speed up for being chased around.

I wish I could get some nice meal that's not expensive and not unhealthy.

Granted, now you eat this all day everyday.

I wish I can dance the Flamenco with a hot Spanish Flamenco dancer.

Granted. Here is your dancer.

I wish my life was narrated by Dominic Armato.

Granted, but Dominic Armato suggested (and insisted) that the nyan cat would do the job better.

I wish I could buy fellow GOGers here a nice drink.

Granted, but they get so drunk they start to think you're their girlfriend.
I wish to control the weather.

Granted, now you can control fog but only in the London area.

I wish I accidentally the whole cucumber.

Granted, you become wholly cucumber and then be eaten by someone, digested into substances that are no longer cucumber.

Granted, but you will never win the game somehow. You can always try and try again into eternity, but you couldn't win it, unless you change your game. :)

I wish I could give to fellow GOGers the Legend of Grimrock game. :)

Granted, but since we haven't found anyone to fight against in the space, maintaining a space fighter is not worth the cost. For now, you can only have a spacebar.

I wish no other GOGers would forget to put wish in this thread again (haha).

No wish?

Granted, but now the definition of a GOGer is subtly changed to exclude anyone who'd forget to post his/her wish in this thread. The change, small as it may be, has reduced the number of GOGers to zero. From this fatal day on, "those who know" only talk about GOGers in hushed voices, afraid to anger the gods of appropriate behaviour on the internet, and "those who don't" are close to panic as all their enqueries are met with faces of stone and uncomfortable shuffling of feets.

I wish I could meet all my deadlines with quality work and time to spare, without endangering my health.