Wish granted, but they never do another sale, ever again...

I wish before summer sales is over, all or most packages offered on it in the beginning, to REAPPEAR, during the final day. Like in most previous giveaways. (i wasn't payed from job in time to get what i wanted)

Granted! But the servers get so bogged down no one can take advantage of the offer.

I wish I could have all the games in my wishlist for no money.

Granted, everyone will get their wishlist content for free. Sadly, the lack of funds renders GOG unable to pay their electrical bill, their servers no longer offer the downloads.

I wish it wasn't so ridiculously hot outside.

Granted, it starts raining refreshingly for a long ... LONG time

I wish to ascend to a higher plane of spiritual being

Wish granted, but no superpowers can be gained after ascending. What were you expecting? :P

I wish the private investigator hounding me again lately to meet a horrible traffic accident, as he does so on motorbike...

Granted, the private investigator gets into an accident with a truck carrying glue which gets him covered in glue. However, when the glue truck explodes, the explosion sents the private investigator flying into a cow manure truck causing another accident. When that truck explodes, the explosion sends the private investigator through your window and gets stuck to your back letting him harass you wherever you go. It goes without saying what else went through your window in that explosion :)

I wish the intersection outside my house was replaced by a huge hole in the ground

Granted. Outside the house you purchased for cheap is now a huge hole into the bowels of hell itself. This happened to a person who purchased their home for a dollar.

I wish the people who grew up with Atari consoles could see the games we are playing now, but in 1970!

Granted ! The PS3's and Xbones have a wood veneer to match decor and the controllers have a shag carpet pattern.

I wish my place would clean it self. Not by the wife or a maid.

Granted, but you need to pay double bills for energy. After all, work requires fuel, even the automatic one!

I wish for the globalization to fail MISERABLY. Again.

Globalization fails HARD. but as always the richer get far richer of it throught their devious, foul, nauseating shemes and the proletariat pays the price for their unethical behaviour >:(

I wish Jeremy Soule would compose a total annihilation opera

Granted, but he would only play it once, live, hundreds of miles away from you - with no public announcement..so you missed it.

I wish there were more bees and chickens alive in the world

Done. Either one turns out to be precisely as fulfilling as every other online relationship.

I wish I had perfect musical pitch.

Granted. Your musical talent was able to pitch a new sale for your employer.

I wish I could play the guitar.

Wish is granted but a year later your fingers will fall off.

I wish to rule the world.