Granted. You'll die tonight and get ninja'd at Heaven's Gate for your place in paradise.



I wish for a photographic memory.

Granted, you now have a photographic memory! The problem is... it's only 8mb and you can't change that!

I wish my tinnitus go away..

[url=http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/signjpegs/n/now.ht28.jpg]Now [url=http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/signjpegs/d/deaf1.jpg]deaf.

I wish it wasn't so hard to stick to my diet.

Granted. You're indeed following a strict diet. Thanks to the martial law your city is under (which also controls the supplies, that aren't near enough for everyone). Not that a diet is your bigger concern right now...

I wish my dad would take better care of his health.

Granted. Your dad joins a sect, gives them all his worldly possessions (and yours which he can grab) and from now lives an ascetic life without alcohol, smoking and other drugs.
What a pity they are planning to commit collective suicide at the end of the year to get their spirits up to higher spheres.


I wish I'd be mentally strong enough to go to bed earlier.

Granted. You now have the mental strength to go to bed whenever you want. However, you did not wish for actually being able to sleep, so you are now an insomniac.


I wish that with our powers combined we could summon Captain Planet.

Granted. Recently he has come to the conclusion that the only way to fight pollution effectively is wiping out humanity. He starts with his summoners.


I wish I was in perfect shape when needed.

Granted. Whenever you wish, you can turn into a perfect imitation of a pretzel.

I wish that #gamergate would stop being a bunch of hooting dickholes.

Done. 4chan gets taken down for the better part of a day; when they come back, #gamergate is completely forgotten in the name of #hackergate, as the community rallies to track down the source of the attack.

Oh, and their revenge blows up the internet.


I wish my legs didn't hurt.

Granted. You don't have them anymore. And, as a little extra, you don't have any arms, a head, and your torso is just in the way, as well. As a matter of fact, you don't even exist. Sure hope mods don't ban me for talking to myself.

Ahem, I wish I had an incorruptable wish.

EDIT: Spellcheck.

Granted. Your wish has no effects what-so-ever, just as you wished.

I wish to sleep well tonight.

Granted, but the kid from "the ring" steals your dress, so that you can not go to the prom and your boyfriend breaks up with you.

I wish that I could got my girls, while in a 90's kinda world and living single.

Okay, but first you have to go on a series of spacetime adventures with an eccentric man and you can't ever encounter yourself and your family or else time paradox.

I wish the old men of the world would stop trying to make the Cold War a thing again.

Granted. However, now all the young women do it. Unfortunately they succeed. Their cold war eventually leads to an actual war that destroys the planet.


I wish I could extinguish fire with my mind.