Granted. Each one of your 5 minds has his own personality, and hates the guts (well, brains) of every other one. And they get control of your body in 7 minute shifts.

I wish I was a better storyteller for our monthly tabletop RPG games.

Granted. You are pretty good in storytelling now. Too bad your play round is changed to complete morons who won't listen and play with their smartphones all evening and the only player listening to you is a four year old girl with severe fits of Tourettes.

Speaking of RPG rounds :
I wish to find a decent group of players in my hometown without formentioned disabilities who would love to play once a week some old-fashioned RPGs with me. And I don't speak of the BDSM-category here.

Granted, but unfortunately, all avid Tabletop players in your town are Neo-Nazis, and won't play with anyone hat doesn't submit themselves to the new Reich.

I wish I had a million dollars worth of steak and a freezer that could store it.

Granted. You find a decent group of players in your hometown without the forementioned disabilities who would love to play once a week some old-fashioned RPGs with you. No BDSM.

They would REALLY love to do so.

Unfortunately one is in prison for the next 20 years, the other one is in a relationship with a girl who despises THAT kind of RPG (no infos about the other one), so he pretends to do so as well and a third one has to work 80 hours a week to pay debts (but he really would love to ... I think you got it)

I wish, George R. R. Martin would finish the final two volumes of "A song of Ice and Fire" faster than the two previous ones.
Oooops, another one was faster than me.

So:
Granted. You own a quarterpound of Tyrannosaurus Rex Steak. The freezer in your kitchen is quite OK to keep a petrified piece of meat fresh. Unfortunately the person you hired as a cleaner finds it and after wondering for a moment, why there is a piece of stone is in your freezer, your "precious" finds it's way to the garbage can.

Since GRRM did not speed up the last few minutes, my wish remains the same.

Granted. "A Song of Fire and Ice : Rock falls, Everyone Dies" has just been published. Of course, the one-page final novel of the series is maybe a little abrupt, but most critics agree it fits the tone of the setting.


I wish I would not have blown my chance at oceanographic research when I was a (young, lazy, and pretty stupid) student.

Granted, you became a great oceanographic researcher, but on one of your researches you awake Cthulhu.

I wish that DRM madness will stop.

Granted! But GOG sales madness never stops as a result! So many deals! Oh the humanity!

I wish I hadn't been possessed by a sales barker.

Granted. You can now relive every wonderful moment in your life again and again at will. You can also relive any other moment from your life, but you cannot create any new moments.

I wish I had a fail-proof, ultra-reliable, unhackable, non-sentient computer implanted in my brain (without damaging side effects) so that I could create my own reality which would look and feel real to me.

Granted, but everything in this reality would look like naked Dick Cheney and feel like molten lava.

I wish I had the patience to write something.

Granted, but it will have to be written in sanskrit.

I wish I had a chocolate hot dog.

Granted, unfortunately, Doom demons have the same biology as dogs, so the chocolate kills you.

I wish I could fly like superman (reference!)

Granted. You can now fly like superman, but you can't ever stop flying.

I wish people were smarter.

Granted! But what are we going to do with all the abandoned stadiums and fields?

I wish we could put all the sports on another planet.

Granted, but human hunting becomes a legal sport on that planet, and all non-sport-playing humans are shipped there to serve as game.

I wish I could find the Holy Grail (and not get arrested right before getting it).