Granted ... side-by-side with you as you play it for all eternity, whilst getting flogged to take your mind off it.

I wish I had a publishing deal

Granted. But in doing so, you cause the collapse of the NFL, angering millions.

I wish I had been responsible for the collapse of the NFL.

Granted - but now you're me and the last 2 posts are caught in an infinite time-loop that threatens to destroy the universe.

I wish the universe didn't get destroyed due to careless wishing after all (though I'm less fussed about the NFL part of it)

Granted. Instead of careless wishing the universe is now destroyed by someone counciously making the wish to destroy it.

I wish I had the ability to give other people superpowers.

Granted, but you have to live those moments over and over on an endless loop.

I wish I had every gog game.

Granted you have all the really good old games, like chess and Parcheesi.

I wish I could grant my own wishes.

Granted, but you'll always subconsciously corrupt them.

I wish I had a Riding Yoshi from Super Mario World.

Uh oh. You were caught riding Yoshi; now you've been branded forever as a molester.

I wish it never snowed on vehicles or roads.

Granted. To achieve this, every road is highly radioactive now, irradiating all vehicles and they emit so much heat that snow smelts. Snow... and your skin.

I wish my employer would not be such a scrooge and pays me more money.

Granted, you are made redundant with a generous payout.

I wish warm drinks stayed at an optimal temperature

Granted, but your cold drinks will be at that same hot temperature.

I wish I could rob a bank with no consequences.

Done! The bank had no money, so your attempted robbery preserved the status quo.

I wish I could survive on four hours sleep a night.

Granted, but now you need to sleep in an Iron Maiden

I wish I had a yeti that would maul people at my command.

Granted. But all others get 2 yetis who are much stronger than yours.


I wish I could send messages back in time to myself.