Granted, but now you now have a mental deficiency.

I wish this semester of college was over.

Granted, you are expelled. The semester is over - for you!

I wish I had a cup of tea

Your wish is granted. Enjoy the best tea ever - brewn from rat livers.


I wish i could relive any day of my life at will.
Hell, I would be pretty happy, if I could relive just THAT one day over and over again (at will).

Granted but you then get caught in a "groundhog day" cycle and THAT day becomes tiresome.

I wish I could go to Brazil next year for the World Cup

Granted, but between now and the World cup links to summoning Satan are discovered and the "beautiful game" is banned world wide with a death penalty for anyone found playing or supporting the sport.

I wish people would shut the fuck up.

Granted, so people everywhere begin to communicate through flatulence, and not only can you not understand the lingo, you can’t get a word in edgewise... :P

I wish more words would be invented for the letters X, and Y.

Granted, now all words are being reinvented to only contain those two letters.

I wish the Holy Roman Empire was restored and I was crowned Emperor.

Granted, but since history repeats itself, the Empire will fall again, but not before you end up murdered just like Julius Caesar.

I wish there were still alive dinosaurs.

Oh no! There's a group of hungry velociraptors on the loose in your house!

I wish Aphrodite were real.

Granted. You will be one of the first passengers on that flight. Unfortunately it's a one way ticket to a still uninhabitable planet.

I wish I had the time and money to make some vacations on Cuba.

Granted. However, Cuba decides to close its borders to foreigners.

I wish I had the ability to understand and speak every language.

Granted. Every language is abandoned in favor of communicating in high pitched squeals.

I wish all the console company's would combine to make a super console.

Granted, all the companies agree on a new console and single format, this makes all of the games dull and boring and since there is no competetion extremely expensive. All gamers abandone video games and a new crash comes along with death and misery.

I wish for a whole hot night with Jennifer Lawrence.

You two enjoying that active volcano? Good, good.

I wish I could sleep and wake up anytime I needed to.