Alright, but in doing so, Microsoft cancels all of its consoles, current and future.

I wish I had a better selection of tea.

You have tea. That's a better selection than what Arthur Dent had available on the spaceship Heart of Gold.

I wish I didn't wait until the last minute to finish everything.

Granted, now you always finish first ;), your girlfriend is not happy at all.

I whish for PSY to be the greatest artista of all times.

My girlfriend will just have to suffer; I'm just relieved that my wish didn't end up killing the thread!

Granted! Thanks to your unintended typo, PSY shifts his focus from songwriting to painting; his raunchy and surreal artistic parodies strike a chord with both modern artists and political pundits. Before you know it, Gangnam Style is the new postmodern; the Museum of Modern Art holds an exhibition entitled "The Mother Father, Everyone."

I wish I could draw well enough to have my own webcomic.

Granted. Your drawing skill is now just good enough to make a webcomic with only one reader - yourself.

I wish I could use computers telepathically.

Granted. You have no mouth, and you must scream.

I wish Santa Claus is real.

Granted, Santa Claus and all other fantastic creatures are real and now humans are only a tale that they use to scare their children.

I wish that humanity could make the next technological leap and reach the singularity.

They do and thereby make themselves obsolete. The self-improving machines replace them. Congratulations you just obliterated humanity.

I wish to be the (self-improving) AI in control of all of those self-improving machines.

Ach, no! Josef Stalin grabs your unused wish; not only do the Allies end up winning World War II, but the Soviet Union remains communist for the next four and a half decades!

I wish I understood France's fascination with Jerry Lewis, and Germany's with David Hasselhoff.

Granted - You now totally get it - and since you are American you now have that same facination for Justin Beber

I wish they would release the ROA Remake Boxed Collector's Edition in English and in the US

Well played, sir; I am well and truly pwned. :D

Granted, you just got a nice shiny boxed remake of the formula Return On Assests. GOG now is a company dedicated to educate users on finacial matters instead of selling videogames. You won't play realms of arkania but damn you are good calucalting ROAs.

I wish I could be a stock-whiz to earn bazillions of dollars.

Granted.
I inflated the market a little.
So here are some shares worth way more than a bazillion dollars. You can afford one stamp for it, if you hurry. They'll get more expensive by the hour.
Oh, and it doesn't look like this trend will decrease anytime soon.

I wish to be less lazy.

granted, but now you have to do all of my housework

I wish that the world would finally recognize my brilliance