I wish Thespian's post had ended in a wish statement I could work with.

Granted.

However because you pointed out his error, he gives you a Vulcan Nerd Pinch and you pass out in a puddle of your own urine.

I wish I could see the surveillance video of the Three Jenn Fizz at my house.

Sorry, my Internet time ran out (public PC), and I forgot the wish due to the rush for logging out before the deadline. ;)

Granted, but you were suffering from severe conjunctivitis and your doctor warned you to don't stand a single minute watching a television, monitor, or similar device. The result from ignoring his sound advice has been a worsening of your condition, which takes you to lose vision forever...

I wish to always remember to post my wish when participating in this thread.

Granted, but my internet time ran out so I can't explain more :P

Edit: I wish I didn't have to pay for extra internet time for this imaginary public PC.

Done! You now believe the internet itself is imaginary as well. On the plus side, with all the time and money you'll be saving, you can afford to have a life.

I wish I could afford to have a life as well.

Granted, now you're a zombie. Welcome to your new "life"...

I wish to be able to deal with people I despise if necessary.

Granted.

Your life as a serial killer affords you the means to deal with most anyone and any situation, if necessary

I wish to be able to eat jelly donuts and lose twenty pounds a day.

Done. You are able to eat jelly donuts and lose 20 pounds a day. Thing is, the two are unrelated.

I wish the cubes were balls and vice versa.

Granted, but as all all rectangular shapes become spherical, and vice versa, human civilization collapses. Literally. No building can support the transition, nor any machine. Welcome to the Stone Age...

I wish that the Third World had the current living conditions of the First World, at least.

Granted, the Third World now has the same living conditions as in the first world, unfortunately there can't only be first world countries in the planet so the formers first world countries are now the new third world countries.

I wish I can learn all of the geek-nerd facts that there can be ever.

Granted.

However this knowledge is a natural repellant to all XX chromosomal beings.

I wish for a good days sleep today.

Granted but you never wake..

I wish for a Persona 2 Eternal Punishment US localization for the PSP Version sill..

Granted, but the voice actors are so horrible you regret it.

I wish for a self-cleaning toilet bowl.

Done! Of course, the lifelike pink robotic tongue may have been a bit over the top...

I wish to drink as much as I want without regret, come St. Patrick's Day.