I'd go back in time, find out who shot JFK, and never tell anyone hahahaha

Assuming this is more of a 'Groundhog Day' time machine than a 'Back to the Future' one:

THE AB EATER 2000!
************************
HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE AB EATHER 2000! NOW YOU CAN EAT YOUR WAY TO ABS!

YES, NOW, FOR ONLY 24x10^6 HOURLY PAYMENTS OF $9.99, YOU TOO CAN EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND STILL HAVE 6-PACK ABS!*

GLUTTONY NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD!

* Actual results dependent on last eaten meal before rejoining the regular flow of time.

I'd go back in time to before the "Who Shot J.R.?" storyline on the old primetime drama Dallas was resolved, and take out full-page ads in several major U.S. newspapers spoiling the answer for everyone in detail.

I'm thinking that, after "grab a T-Rex", you wouldn't be doing any of those other things. Or anything ever again, for that matter. Well, apart from being digested, anyway. =)

well, if I have a time machine I could go to a time where they have made a t-rex trap. I'm not crazy enough to try to catch one with my bare hands.

edit: wonder if t-rex tastes like chicken... biggest bbq ever. New plan: go back in time to catch t-rex for bbq

Accidentally farted in front of the girl I'm trying to impress. Rewind 60 seconds, pop a [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beano_(dietary_supplement)]Beano[/url], and approach her again.

I would travel back in time and take the beano from you.

Bastard...

(although I admit I'm lol'ing)

i would also travel back in time and take a Selfie of myself with you both in the back trading beano and post it on twitter for the lulz

1) Go back in time five minutes
2) Sneak up behind myself
3) Tap myself on the left shoulder before ducking to the right
4) Giggle

- Pick up a piece of food I just dropped.
- Miss the right spot when the food drops, and repeatedly attempt to time travel to the right moment without going too far behind, ahead, or close, all the while grumbling to myself like an old person struggling with the fast forward and rewind buttons on a TV remote.

they never made a t-rex trap. Closest thing was introducing a parasite into the T-Rex's brain. But even the parasite ran free.

may have to settle for actual chicken. use time machine to elude capture. (stolen chicken obvs)

Travel 45 minutes back in time to stop myself from eating those bad Quesadillas that gave me explosive diarrhea so bad, it almost sent me to the moon. Getting back to Earth was a pain in the ass, literally.

Not a lame use, dude. LOL One fart could mean the difference between being married to your soul mate and dying alone with a dozen cats.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw2sex1mJNI

Never watched Jurassic Park?
Anyway, now it's breakfast. Need t-rex eggs for omelette...

Use it to show my wife that, yes, I DID tell her that I was going to be late home that night.

When it backfires and shows that, in fact, I neglected to actually tell her, use it again to remind myself pre-conversation to tell her that I'm going to be home late that night.