Fixed.

Thank you F4LL0UT. Always a friend. :D

Sure am. And that despite your bromance with Licurg. It's not real, you know? One day he's gonna hurt you. Hard. And I know who you're gonna turn to then. But you know what? Screw you! Two years, man, TWO YEARS! Two years spent trying to make you happy, to at least get some recognition! You're the center of my world. And me? I'm not even on your map! Could you at least pretend? At least invite me when you two meet up! At least make me feel like I'm part of it, like I matter to you at all! I'm sure I could handle it. To see you two laugh, hug... who am I kidding. I hate him. And you... you've changed. He changed you. I bet he's telling you that I'm pathetic. Every single one of my gestures I know you actually genuinely love, that move you, deeply, he makes them seem like some bad joke and you're actually falling for it. That manipulative asshole. I hate him! I'm gonna fucking kill him! I'm gonna snuff the life out of him, stomp his face until it's nothing but red pulp! Because you're an idiot, because you let him brainwash you! I should fucking kill you too! No... I didn't mean that... really, believe me! I love you, man. More than anybody else does or ever could. But it hurts. It hurts so much. My heart is bleeding, it literally bleeds! I'm warning you, one of these days I won't be able to take it anymore. I don't know what I'm gonna do. But whatever it's gonna be, it will be on you. No... I didn't mean that either. You know that. Right? I really didn't, please believe me! I think we can make it work, I know we can! Really! If you like Licurg, so do I. Because I like you and I respect you. I friggin' love you. Maybe one day you will love me back. But you know what? If you don't... that's okay. Because your happiness is all that matters to me. Just show me that you care a little bit about me, okay? That's all I want. We will all be fine, I'm sure. Just remember that he's never gonna love you the way I do. And once you notice that, I will be there. I promise.

Didn't you take that from a Morrissey song?

Just a few... not that it's happened to me. Took a writing course once... yeah, that's the ticket.

1. Dress up as someone else and try to win back his wife's affections as a different person.
2. Lie to his friends about his wife so she will become totally unattractive in their eyes.
3. Lie to wife about his friends so they will become totally unattractive in her eyes.
4. Steal things in order to have more financial leverage to 'buy off' his wife's affections.
5. Kidnap his wife in disguise, then shed the costume and save her as himself to make himself look like a hero.
6. Tap their phones to listen in on conversations she has.
7. Go overboard with sex toys and strange lubes in order to overpower her lustful whims.
8. Play sick. Get her back with the nurse/mommy thing.
9. Sabotage her life so she will become dependent on his natural male survival skills.
10. Hit the slots and risk financial ruin in order to win loads of money to impress her.
11. Get them both hooked on drinking and/or drugs. Chemically dependent people usually don't have the energy or motivation to do much of anything else but get high.
12. Divorce.

Morriwhat? Oh yeah, Morrisee, of course! It's not like this could have actually come from the bottom of my heart, right? That would be like totally pathetic, lol. What a ridiculous thought! Yeah, you're right, it's from that song!



(one day...)

Pff, boring. I know of a couple where the female keeps reading his mail, checking his phone, knows his password to facebook and periodically checks whether or not he's been with someone else using various sources. She was so obsessed with her boyfriend being unfaithful that she eventually collapsed.

Define "no reasons to the other half to be jealous". Because that's exactly the problem, isn't it? Overly jealous people always find reasons to be jealous, and some of them will always sound at least plausible.

Not being jealous relies on two equally important things - trusting your partner and trusting yourself. Trusting that your partner won't cheat on you is only one part. Sincerely believing that you're good enough for your partner so he/she doesn't have a reason to cheat on you is equally important.

Whoa, tinyE, you... friendzoned F4LL0UT? Man, that's harsh!

And I like Morrissey ;-)

Love Morrissey!

Anyone with the guts to name songs "Girlfriend in a Coma" and "Shoplifters of the World Unite" is okay with me! :D

Probably the same as some women I've known. In these modern times we have more ways of paranoidly snooping on others than ever before, and the insanely jealous frequently use them. These include (but are not limited to):

1. Checking the contacts and SMS history on the partner's phone.
2. Checking the message history on the partner's Facebook account.
3. Checking the partner's internet browser history.
4. Calling the partner very often to find out where they are, what they are doing and with whom they are doing it.

I've known girls (just known, not been involved with) who by their own admission did all four. I imagine jealous guys are much the same.

Jealousy the CURSE of mankind

Well there's different forms of "Jealousy" in the bible, the two main ones tend to be Covetousness based Jealousy and Godly/Protective Jealousy.

Covetousness is the form that you describe more or less, where it's a action with [largely] negative [self] cogitations.

Godly/Protective Jealousy is mention as "Our God is a jealous God" or also as "A Husband being jealous over his Wife"
This (by conservative protestant understanding) in tales a desire to keep a union from dissipating and to eagerly pursue solidifying it.

I'm not trying to give a bible lesson I'm just stating this to spread light on the issue the OP started this topic about.

Solutions to all are KEYLOCK-IGNORE-DELETE.

Or, just do as most other guys do and surrender your free will and let your wife log in and load up any phone apps or web browsers for you... after you've had your diaper changed and spine removed, of course.

Worst singer, ever.