GR00T: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales An average flick. Not awful, but not great either. They stretched too much for the over-the-top action sequence at the beginning and a lot of the attempts at laughs fell short. There were a few amusing moments and a couple out-loud chuckles though, few of which were produced by Jack Sparrow (Depp really seemed to be just mailing it in - tired of the character, perhaps). However, there were a couple high points: Javier Bardem - awesome in pretty much everything in which I've seen him; and Paul McCartney - really cool little cameo in one scene - I didn't know he was in it, and when I heard 'Maggie Mae' being sung in the prison/dungeon, I was thinking "Huh, that's an old Beatles tune!", then there he is as a pirate. Cool beans.
For the first hour and a half I was having a pretty good time, which surprised me since the series really hasn't been any good since the very first film. Now, this movie is completely over the top ridiculous, even for this franchise, to the point where it almost feels like a self-parody of the first one. But it was fun, so I rolled with that. It's not like I'm particularly invested in the series so as long as it's fun it can do whatever as far as I care. The problem is, the movie had 40 more minutes to go after it seemed to have ran out of any fun ideas. It just got so padded and boring that all the good will it produced at the start evaporated by the time we finally reached end credits.
Some other thoughts:
-the actress playing Carina Smyth was absolutely charming, beautiful and charismatic. I wish the new Star Wars trilogy could have had a lead like her.
-not nearly enough Barbossa. Geofrey Rush is always a delight, and the way he chews scenery with honest enthusiasm has always been a highlight even of the worst movies of the series. This movie sadly doesn't give him nearly enough screen time
- watching Depp is almost sad. I pretty much believe he genuinely doesn't know where he is and what's going on half the time, and could not care less. Jack's character used to have a lot of energy, and for all his silly antics he at leas started out as a semi-capable action character at least. Now it seems Depp can barely be arsed to stand up for one in three scenes.
-the movie is terribly dark. I mean literally, not in terms of mood. It's just way too dark to see half the time. There are plenty scenes set at night, and I simply could not follow the action. It's a 230 million dollar movie- could they not afford decen lighting?
