Moar games. Obvious choice.

Walk of shame whilst wearing the worst fashion trend from...

the seventies

or

nineties?

or

present day?

More Games.

Doctor appointment or Dentist appointment?

Present day ... More tech.

Immortality or stay as you are?

Not necessarily. You wouldn't mind if GOG didn't released movies anymore, but I'm sure some people would complain.

Stay as I am. I'd prefer to die before my children (yet to come).

English garden or French garden?

French garden and a freshly baked french loaf of bread to eat, while loafing around in said garden!

Mastery of Kuji Goshin Ho, or mastery of Futhark runes?

What has the one got to do with the other?

I'd go with Fuþark. :)

Mastery of ancient Chinese, Sanskrit, ancient Hebrew or ancient Greek?

Ancient Hebrew - though Sanskrit is fascinating too

hotdogs, hamburgers, or Philly cheese-steak sub?

Hotdogs actually.

Watterson or Schultz ?

Watterson, wish there was more Calvin.

Arnold or Bruce?

Bruce.

Van Damme or Chuck Norris?

Vigilante 8!

Reminds me of some shit that I lent my copy and never got back. Hope he got cancer.

Be in the same room as Phil Fish for ten minutes or shove a jelly fish down your pants for 10 seconds?

Jelly fish in the pants. At least the availability of urine can help with the sting.

Partying with Jack Thompson (attorney going after the video games) or Kenneth J. McKenna (attorney who prosecuted Judas Priest)?

Jack Thompson. Because a good party involves at least one drunk fist fight.

Own a Zeppelin, which you could live on without problems (sizewise).
OR
own a submarine, which you could live in without problems and resistance to any water pressure.

You'd need to resupply on both in regular intervals.