...kill half the population of New York city with a giant psychic genetically engineered squid monster.

...you try that with the next person near or even better, all persons available. It's amazing how many successes will come.

...you properly escape the situation and try again later at unsuspecting circumstances.

...you immediately remember how many times you succeeded before and become happy and content as if you actually succeeded now.

...and it is the fault of someone else who interfered, you blame it on them and getaway, thanking the fortunes; almost always, immediately later, compensation of some form rains on you abundantly.

...you carefully inspect whether or not there was an actual chance to succeed in the first place.

...it's ok, no one ever was full of successes exclusively.

Climb up a tall tree and start flinging some poo.

... go crazy, kill dogs, keep a diary, monologue to yourself and start every sentence with hurm.

...pull down your pants and fertilise the plants

Sacrifice every single one of your friends to a horde of man eating demons, then rape your best friend's girlfriend in front of him.

... try the game on an 'easier' mode.
... tie their shoelaces together before the next race.
... recover gracefully in the ICU.
... post the video on failblog.
... be glad you aren't wearing a paternity suit.

... reboot.

Use the other arm.

... it's ok, life is short anyways.

...use orbital weaponry on Tetsuo.

...shred all the evidence, liquidate as many of your assets as possible, drain your bank accounts, and flee to South America with the cash.

If this is to have the maximum shock value, then the latter part should probably come before the former.

.... go Hatred!

Or simultaneously.