Posted January 09, 2016
camplify
New User
Registered: Sep 2015
From United States
Matewis
By Toutatis!
Registered: Jan 2011
From South Africa
Posted January 09, 2016
Not in, but +1 for the giveaway!
Here's my favorite stupid joke:
"A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at
the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but
eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the
job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song
is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline."
Here's my favorite stupid joke:
"A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at
the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but
eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the
job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song
is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline."
Emachine9643
"LOL LOL whazza chiggi chugga - love you people!"
Registered: Jul 2013
From United States
Posted January 09, 2016
i THOUGHT this thread was avbout SnowKatt
Oriza-Triznyák
garbage features like achievements.
Registered: Apr 2009
From Other
Hardrada
Sanity is Crazy
Registered: Jan 2009
From New Zealand
zeogold
The Puzzlemaster
Registered: Dec 2012
From United States
Posted January 09, 2016
low rated
"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas."
+1.
Lifthrasil
Bring the GOG-Downloader back!
Registered: Apr 2011
From Germany
Posted January 09, 2016
I like that! :-D
I'm in for Jagged Alliance 2
My favourite cute joke:
A polar-bear-family walks across the polar ice. Papa bear up front, Mama bear in the middle and little polar bear cub last. Suddenly the cub asks:
"Mama?"
"Yes my dear"
"Papa is a polar bear, right?"
"Yes, papa is a polar bear."
they trot on. Then the cub speaks again:
"Mama?"
"Yes, my dear."
"You are a polar bear too, right?"
"Yes, I'm a polar bear too."
they trot on.
"Mama?"
"Yes?"
"If you are a polar bear and papa is a polar bear and if I am your cub, I have to be a polar bear too, right?"
"Yes, you are a polar bear too"
they trot on.
"Mama!?"
"Yes, what is it?"
"Are you sure that I am your cub?"
"Yes!!! Why do you ask such a strange question?"
"I am cold!"
...
Or a little joke-sentence about our fellow US-americans:
"Oh, these US-Americans. You just have to love them... Otherwise they attack." ;-)
I'm in for Jagged Alliance 2
My favourite cute joke:
A polar-bear-family walks across the polar ice. Papa bear up front, Mama bear in the middle and little polar bear cub last. Suddenly the cub asks:
"Mama?"
"Yes my dear"
"Papa is a polar bear, right?"
"Yes, papa is a polar bear."
they trot on. Then the cub speaks again:
"Mama?"
"Yes, my dear."
"You are a polar bear too, right?"
"Yes, I'm a polar bear too."
they trot on.
"Mama?"
"Yes?"
"If you are a polar bear and papa is a polar bear and if I am your cub, I have to be a polar bear too, right?"
"Yes, you are a polar bear too"
they trot on.
"Mama!?"
"Yes, what is it?"
"Are you sure that I am your cub?"
"Yes!!! Why do you ask such a strange question?"
"I am cold!"
...
Or a little joke-sentence about our fellow US-americans:
"Oh, these US-Americans. You just have to love them... Otherwise they attack." ;-)
zeogold
The Puzzlemaster
Registered: Dec 2012
From United States
Tannath
White Owl
Registered: Feb 2014
From Portugal
Posted January 09, 2016
Bump.
seikus
Not a pro Gamer
Registered: Jun 2013
From Argentina
Posted January 10, 2016
Not in, but thank you very much for your generosity, +1.
Tannath
White Owl
Registered: Feb 2014
From Portugal
Posted January 10, 2016
Bump.
Pliky
grain of sand
Registered: Mar 2011
From Romania
Posted January 10, 2016
Bob encourages his son: 'Come on son, another step, another one, that's right, come on, another tiny step... Betty come quick with the camera, our son has returned from prom!'
TheSaint54
Great horny toad
Registered: Dec 2009
From United States
Posted January 10, 2016
low rated
Not In but +1 for the GA
A man is captured by cannibals, every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.
Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, “Hey, you can kill me and you can eat me, but I am tired of getting stuck for drinks!"
A man is captured by cannibals, every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.
Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, “Hey, you can kill me and you can eat me, but I am tired of getting stuck for drinks!"
Post edited January 10, 2016 by TheSaint54
HypersomniacLive
The Reluctant Voter
Registered: Sep 2011
From Vatican City
Posted January 10, 2016
high rated
Congrats on the three stars, may you see your fifth, and any surprise GOG holds, soon. Cheers for the very generous, and fun, GA, +1!
Not sure if I've posted this one before:
The Policeman and the Boy
A little boy on the beach makes little people out of sand. A policeman passes by, notices the boy and goes up to him and asks using a sweet tone:
- "What are you making here, my boy?"
- "I make cops with sand, water and shit" says the boy.
- "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Shame on you! Say that again and I’ll lock you up!!" screamed the police officer, completely pissed off.
The next day, the policeman goes back to the same place and there’s the boy again, playing with sand, making little people. Trying to keep his tone calm, he asks:
- "What are you making there, my boy?"
- "Firemen with water and sand!" replies the child.
- "Why don’t you put in shit as well?" asks the policeman, puzzled and a bit annoyed.
- "Because when I do, they turn out cops!"
I'm in for Leisure Suit Larry.
Not sure if I've posted this one before:
The Policeman and the Boy
A little boy on the beach makes little people out of sand. A policeman passes by, notices the boy and goes up to him and asks using a sweet tone:
- "What are you making here, my boy?"
- "I make cops with sand, water and shit" says the boy.
- "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Shame on you! Say that again and I’ll lock you up!!" screamed the police officer, completely pissed off.
The next day, the policeman goes back to the same place and there’s the boy again, playing with sand, making little people. Trying to keep his tone calm, he asks:
- "What are you making there, my boy?"
- "Firemen with water and sand!" replies the child.
- "Why don’t you put in shit as well?" asks the policeman, puzzled and a bit annoyed.
- "Because when I do, they turn out cops!"
I'm in for Leisure Suit Larry.
Gede
GNU/Linux user
Registered: Nov 2014
From Portugal
Posted January 10, 2016
low rated
I'm in for Jagged Alliance 2. Thank you for the generous giveaway.
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He then decides to test it out at dinner one night.
He begins by asking his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some homework." In an instant, the robot springs into action and slaps the son in front of everyone.
The boy, still surprised and confused, corrects himself. "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
The man, with satisfaction and amusement in his face, decides to press on. "Really!? What movie did you watch?" The boy hesitates before saying, in a low voice "Toy Story." The robot comes alive again, extends its arm and slaps the son once more. The boy decides there is no use in pretending and confesses "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
The father says, "What? Porn?! Boy, when I was your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot then turns and loudly slaps the man right in the face.
The mother, who had been sitting quietly through all that spectacle, starts laughing and says, "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale.
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He then decides to test it out at dinner one night.
He begins by asking his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some homework." In an instant, the robot springs into action and slaps the son in front of everyone.
The boy, still surprised and confused, corrects himself. "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
The man, with satisfaction and amusement in his face, decides to press on. "Really!? What movie did you watch?" The boy hesitates before saying, in a low voice "Toy Story." The robot comes alive again, extends its arm and slaps the son once more. The boy decides there is no use in pretending and confesses "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
The father says, "What? Porn?! Boy, when I was your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot then turns and loudly slaps the man right in the face.
The mother, who had been sitting quietly through all that spectacle, starts laughing and says, "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale.