So glad you remembered the words you once heard someone muttering in S-Mart. No Army of Darkness summoned either. Neat. Hold up now... YOU DIDN'T EXPECTORATE OVER YOUR LEFT SHOULDER!

/// NECRO.PATCHED NOLF LEGAL HOOP NIGHTLY DIVE FOV TURBULENCE ///

I'm in

In all my time playing video games, the only way to solve a problem is to collect every item and press every button and see what happens.

Round 1 Press everything! Collect everything!
So starting with the alarm clock I press the yellow button followed by the green button -- nothing happens (it appears to be missing cables in the back). Next I take the book "Good News: A GOG PR Manifesto" (never know when you'll need a big book) and see what's inside the vibrating box -- inside the box are several phones set to vibrate with one notification reminder after another stating "Remember what GOG stands for". I then remove the "Employees Must Use Galaxy!" plaque and investigate it -- on the reverse side a different message is written that says "Always Stay DRM-Free!". The support computer is next to look at but before pressing the PURGE button, I press F5 to save my progress then press the PURGE -- Pressing the button not only clears all support tickets but also purges the entire room into space. Before getting completely sucked out, I hit the F9 key on the keyboard and quickload back to before I pressed the button (Gamer rule #1 always save your game!). Going over towards the Monk's robe, I take the robe and pull the "DISCONNECT" switch -- pulling the switch shuts off all power to the room which now leads me over to the tangled wires covering the orange bear. Now that the wires are no longer live, I untangle the wires around the bear and put the wires in my inventory -- the bear is free of wires and the plush toy seems to nod its head in approval. Lastly I restore the D, R, and M keys to the keyboard -- the QWERTY keyboard now has its full alphabet restored.

Round 2 Use your items
Now that I have all my inventory items and have seen the results of pressing every button, I can now start taking these items and see where they fit in this room. But first, I save my game again. F5! First up, the wires. I take the wires to the alarm clock and hook it up to the computer -- The clock now says DEBUG in green letters. I take the plaque and place it back on the wall with the words "Always Stay DRM-Free!" showing instead -- a click can be heard coming from the Monk's robe. Inside the Monk's robe is a now unlocked box. Inside the box is a usb stick. I throw the "DISCONNECT" switch back on to restore power then put the usb stick in the computer but the screen stays on the PURGE screen. I go over to the alarm clock and press the green and yellow buttons. Pressing the buttons cycles the computer screen to different apps (green forward, yellow backward). The different apps include "The PURGE screen", an active game of GWENT, a list of coming soon games, and a standard Windows browser. I leave it on the Windows browser and insert the usb stick again. Now a prompt comes up requiring a password to access with a hint that says "remember....". I do remember. I remember those vibrating phones that said "remember what GOG stands for" and I remember those words. I enter three words into the computer. Good. Old. Games. "Access Granted" appears on screen followed by a single button that says "RESTORE". With nothing else left to do I F5 (SAVED!) then hit RESTORE. The screen comes up with a message that states "Congratulations! GOG has been saved and the world is safe!". So it looks like the catastrophe is over but just as I was leaving the room, a being very reminiscent of a grim reaper with a name tag on its forehead that read DRM appears at the door way.

Round 3 Boss Fight
The being stares me down, points at me, and says, "You will never rid GOG of DRM. I am eternal!". Quickly looking through my inventory, I only hold one item left so I use it on him. I take the phone-book-sized printout of "Good News: A GOG PR Manifesto" and throw the book at it. The book crushes the DRM ghost killing it. In its dying breath it says, "Damn it. I guess I'll try Epic games next. They'll love me there!" and then the ghost disappears.

The World is saved! You win!

Thanks chevkoch for the giveaway. Hope you liked my little story. :)

I'm in, thank you for the giveaway!

I would see the sign "WHATEVER YOU DO, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES" and think to myself "oh that's all right, I have never undered a circumstance, I don't even know what that means". I would then take the cables and connect them to the clock, the computer, the vibrating box and the keyboard, because obviously these things are meant to go together. I would then take the orange bear, dress it in the monk's robe, set the manifesto in its lap, and tell it "congratulations bear, you are the head of support now". I would then throw the D, M, and R letters like ninja stars at the alarm clock, purge message, and disconnect switch to start a chain reaction, then take one of the support tickets since "that's my ticket out of here", and walk off whistling, confident that I have applied the kind of lateral thinking so often needed for these things.

Thanks for the giveaway. I'm in.
I decide to play it like Five Nights at Freddy's because the bear is the main character and the evidence points to a game of surveillance horror.
Result: After saving electricity and looking at the monitors all night, nothing frightening happened. It turns out that the plot of this giveaway is from another game. Maybe Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You, or an entirely different genre.
The problem is the clue of the monk's robe. It DISCONNECTS with the rest. Do Not Feed the Monk eys? Return to Monk ey Island? The Switch platform? Is this an adult game because it has a naked monk?
Yes, more questions than answers.

The completionist's approach in three strategically logical steps. Lots of saving. AND a boss fight. Knew I could count on the community. Did I enjoy your story? Brilliant, thanks for giving this a thorough go :)

Undered, hahah. Your training truly shows there too. Confident on top.

Glad we haven't encountered a nude monk, but your inference fu is extraordinary. Hope you won't be stuck for five nights in there.

/// GOOD.OLD WINTRY SALE DISCOUNTED_WISHLIST BACKLOG FISTICUFFS ///

Ah, classic GOG. Nice puzzle. (cracks fingers)

First I start by playing with the clock. I struggle with the buttons and try to make sense of the thing. Strangely the hours never go above the number 12, rolling back to 1. Clearly it is broken. Maybe it is an alarm clock and only works in the mornings. I toss it back to the table and move on. Unbeknownst to me, the numbers begin to change, but not going up. They start counting down.

I gather the three keys that were missing from the keyboard and thing "someone must have been playing some game from Shinny Entertainment", and place them back into the empty spaces on the keyboard, without giving much thought on which one goes where. They resist my fingers pushing them down, but they don't resist my fists! Now they learned who was in charge around here, and they stayed down.

This was the moment a pipe on the furthest wall cracked and started to fill the room with warm water vapour. The noise it was making was disconcerting and was making everything in the room moist. I could see it was operated on by a device that regulated the flow of gases through the pipe, but it was stuck. My quick thinking made me grab the "galaxy" metal plaque from the nearby wall, but it could not operate the vapour with it. Perhaps I could close the hoe? I picked up the robe that had written on its back "HL3 confirmed!" and wrapped it around the damaged pipe. Things improved (as they always do around me).

I tried to reach the orange bear but my arms were too short to reach it. I grabbed a crowbar that was nearby and pulled it closer with an energetic movement of the arm. In doing so I inadvertently unplugged cable that fell to the ground, making a pathetic sound. I looked confused to the complex mesh and I could never find out where it used to be connect. Surely, with these many cables, redundancy is assured, right? This tiny cable could not be important. So my attention moved back to the toy. The plush was half coming out of a box of the same colour, but it was not a bear. It was a guy in an orange suit, but had some facial hair that made it look bearish from some angles.

Suddenly things went chaotic! The alarm clock went buzzing, the computer went beeping, the pipe went hissing, and the cabling system blinked so hard that the cables started swinging. The display terminal displayed the message "Error communicating with servers" A voice ie heard (who knows from where) saying "Your rights have been ended, you thief". I yell back "It was an accident", but the killbots didn't care.

It all began with a sweepstakes that I entered. Win a trip to GOG HQ and free games. Only when I got there, I found that I was actually chosen to go in and save the world? Huh? That sounded more like the plot of a game. Especially after looking around the room and taking notice of things, the words What Will You Do... at GOG HQ? appears on the wall across from me as if part of some title sequence before fading away.

> GET KEYS

I pick up the D key and add it to my inventory.
I pick up the M key and add it to my inventory.
I pick up the R key and add it to my inventory.
Inventory: D Key, M Key, R Key

> WALK TO VIBRATING BOX

I walk over to the vibrating box, with a manifesto sitting on top.

> GET MANIFESTO

I pickup Good News: A GOG PR Manifesto and add it to my inventory.
Inventory: D Key, GOG Manifesto, M Key, R Key

> SEARCH VIBRATING BOX

I look inside the box and see a cell phone, which is also the source of the vibrations.

> GET CELL PHONE

I pickup the cell phone, which caused it to stop vibrating, and add it to my inventory.
Inventory: Cell Phone, D Key, GOG Manifesto, M Key, R Key

> SEARCH CELL PHONE

There is one text message that reads as follows: "Need help playing What Will You Do... at GOG HQ? Call the fully automated HintTron 3000™: H.I.N.T. (4468)"

Having played some other game, I reach a shocking conclusion that I am, in fact, a player controlled character in an adventure game. (If this suspiciously sounds like the plot of some point-and-click adventure game, saying which one would be a total spoiler for said game for anyone that hasn't played it.)

> "HELLO?"

I realize at this point that I'm a character in a text adventure, which means that I can do this...

> SAVE

The words "GAME SAVED!" display on the wall that I am facing then fade away. I'm still holding the cell phone, while everything else I picked up is in my inventory.

> OPEN PHONE APP
> DIAL 4468

After going through the prompts, I now have all the answers:

The scribbled letters should read, "Whatever you do, under no circumstances should you press the disconnect switch or purge the support tickets. Pressing the switch will turn off the lights, resulting in certain death as Random Stock Monsters™ are always lurking about in all dark places. Purging all the support tickets will cause DRM to prevail and infest everything until all life is suffocated into extinction.

We're not going to do either of those things. No, Random Stock Monsters™ or life destroying DRM for us!

Also the alarm clock is a lie. It is only there to create a sense of urgency when there is no time limit. Likewise, the monk's robe is only there to torment obsessive Players that like to pickup everything and try to find uses for them. It can't even be worn, just to annoy Players that will see clothing items and rage internally when they can't wear it on top of not having a use.

While I could just use the cell phone now to call chevkoch and win the game, that won't get me the Super Ultra Good Mega Turbo Deluxe EX Championship HD Remix Edition ending.

> WALK TO BEAR
> SIT

My perspective changes such that I now have a visual point-and-click interface of a puzzle that involves untangling the cables to recover the bear. However because this is a color-coded puzzle, it takes me five times as long to complete as it would if I wasn't colorblind... because I don't know. For some reason, my game self has to be colorblind just like my actual self.

Oh, I see....

The Player selected Hard Mode, which only makes the all of one puzzle needlessly harder. Really, you're getting nothing extra for it except frustration, but that's entirely on you Player. There's no extra better ending for doing it this way.

Once the puzzle is completed, things switch back to text adventure input mode.

> Get BEAR

I pickup the Bear and add it to my inventory.
Inventory: Bear, Cell Phone, D Key, GOG Manifesto, M Key, R Key

> INSPECT BEAR
The bear appears to be a plush toy. However as if aware that it was being inspected, it speaks with a mechanical voice, "I oppose DRM!"

> WALK TO KEYBOARD.

I walk over to the keyboard.
"Glory be to GOG," said the Bear as if in anticipation.

> USE D KEY

The D Key is restored to the keyboard.
Inventory: Bear, Cell Phone, GOG Manifesto, M Key, R Key

> USE M KEY

The M Key is restored to the keyboard.
Inventory: Bear, Cell Phone, GOG Manifesto, R Key

> USE R KEY

The R Key is restored to the keyboard.
Inventory: Bear, Cell Phone, GOG Manifesto

> USE BEAR ON KEYBOARD

The bear is placed at the keyboard.
Inventory: Cell Phone, GOG Manifesto

The bear begins to type on the keyboard, responding to all support tickets and rapidly clears the queue. Support tickets are now responded to immediately as they come in. Costumer confidence in GOG is restored, and DRM-free prevails.

The bear turns it's head in my direction long enough to say, "Thank you for saving the universe" before turning back to its work. At least it's not like that time I saved the universe, only to have some alien dude thank me on behalf of the shareholders for saving the universe.

> SAVE

The words "GAME SAVED!" display on the wall that I am facing then fade away.

> USE CELL PHONE
> OPEN PHONE APP
> SELECT CHEVKOCH FROM CONTACT LIST
> WAIT FOR PHONE TO BE ANSWERED.
> SAY, "I HAVE THE MANIFESTO. GET ME OUT OF HERE."

I disappear in a Star Trek style beam up as a 14.4 modem sound can be heard...

Music plays as the credits roll.

In a post-credit scene, a robotic voice proclaims that DRM is still alive... sequel?

// I'm in for this contest and hope you enjoyed my version of the solution. //

edit -- fixed a busted link and some tags.

Happy to see you do recognize and appreciate a classic flavor in giveaways. Also, very obvious you had some Black Mesa training. Nicely applied on top, just until those murder bots show up... ouch.

Wow. The tightest style yet, I totally dig it. Send it as a sample of your work when next applying at Infocom, I'd say. That was a fun read.

/// FORBIDDEN ROM_NEXUS DUMP VIRTUAL BANSHEE PRISM DATA:EJECT ///

Unfortunately for infocom, all of my industry experience is that of a game tester... also known as breaking games and writing up bug reports to inform the programmers and/or design team that it's entirely THEIR fault.

I nervously look around, wondering what to do...
My attention is grabbed by the vibrating box - what could there be in it? I quickly remove the GOG Manifesto and find, of all things, a battery-operated "chattering teeth" toy inside.
Without asking too many questions, I use the toy (in pure 80s-point-and-click-adventure fashion) to cut the cables entangling the bear.
The plushie's eyes suddenly light up, and an evil grin appears on its face.
"Ha ha! Finally, I'm free!"
It springs across the room, and stops right in front of the door, then turns towards me.
"You see, I'm tired of being called upon when something goes awry in this place - this happened far too often lately and, by the looks of it, it's only getting worse. I'm outta here! Bye!"
And in a last act of defiance it smashes the "PURGE" button on a nearby computer with its plushy paw, thus erasing all support tickets at once, before zipping across the exit with a maniacal laughter.
I suddenly realize what the message likely said: "Whatever you do, under no circumstances RELEASE THE GOGBEAR".
Aw, what do I do now...
Well, if this were a D&D scenario, I could always roll a 20-sided die and see what comes out. But this ain't no RPG and I ain't got dice with me now. The keyboard keys are the next best thing, I guess, so I pick them up from the floor and throw them on a nearby table.
No sooner they form the word "DRM", than a laser turret comes out of the ceiling and vaporizes the keys with a bright red ray.
"No DRM allowed here" says a a robotic voice.
"Hey, you weren't this diligent when they released that Hitman game..."
I can barely escape another blast before the turret retreats into the ceiling again.
Out of ideas and out of hope, in a fit of anger I smash my fists upon the table... when something happens.
The metal plaque comes off the wall and hits the green button on the alarm clock.
The word "SOIN" appears on the display.
"What the..."
I then press the yellow button a couple of times, and suddenly understand.
It wasn't the word "SOON"... it was "500n"! Whatever that means...
As a very last resort, I keep the yellow button pressed, and see the numbers rapidly go down... "499n", "498n"... until they reach "001n", wondering what will happen next.
A colossal roar comes from outside, shaking the walls and the floor, then someone knocks at the door.
I open, and find Roboute Guilliman, standing there in person.
"You made it, son. You saved Earth. You see, that isn't an alarm clock. That device sets the release date for Dawn Of War, where n is the original date planned, that is, the 24th of December, in time for Christmas. It was multiplied by a factor of 500. The Inquisition got tired of waiting and, frankly, began suspecting an infiltration of GOG by heretics actively working against the release of such a good WH40K game, where you can glorify the Emperor crushing xenos and such scum. It was then ready to request EXTERMINATUS of GOG HQ, and of the whole planet, just to be sure. But now I see it was just a technical glitch... right? I mean, it's Christmas, we all have to be good... so, for now, I suppose exterminatus can wait. But we'll keep an eye on you... don't be foolish, OK? Do not fail the Imperium".
He glances around and takes the monk robe.
"I'll take this. After growing a new pair of legs, our tech-priest needs a new robe, and this might do the trick".
And in a blaze and thunder, he's gone.
The computer screen now reads "Dawn Of War releasing in 02:57:11", counting down.
I can barely catch a breath that I hear "FBI open up!!"
I open the door and find an officer, smiling.
"Well, I don't know how you made it, but the menace is gone... the catastrophe is averted - we're safe!"
He takes a look around.
"OK, just to make sure things like this don't happen ever again in the future..."
I try to stop him with a desperate yell, but I'm too late.
He reaches out and flips the "Disconnect" switch.
The computer screen turns off, as an intense red glow comes down from the sky.

THE END

Fun. Another well-written report on what alternatively could go down here. The first to explicitly name the Theodore reference, well done. Ends with coming back to the destruction-from-above motif, had me smiling.

/// 1-800-ONE-TAG DEV-STUFFED BUS#OVRLOAD FAIR PRICE PKG KABOOM ///

/// T-MINUS 59 MINUTES GIVEAWAY FINISH LAST CHANCE SMILEY_FACE ///

The giveaway has ended. Give me a bit while I head over to random.org and have us drawn a winner. Stay tuned.


Cheers :)

We have a winner. Congratulations, altosy!
Thanks everyone for taking the time to participate in the fun with their stories, and to those who just felt like stopping by. Appreciate you all. It was a delight reading your quality contributions. Now that the community came together in such a grand effort to expertly deal with this magical event, we can all go back to our well-deserved winter holidaying.