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Sometimes I sit in the nude and think about what the pitch meeting for a certain game might have been like. And in my mind, I tend to imagine wild things: whack ideas being thrown around, executives nodding approval in all the wrong places, publishers at each other's throats, pole-dancing mishaps, barn animal sacrifices, and fringe science gone hilariously eruptive. Among other — equally plausible — occurrences.

= How to enter the Giveaway =
Pick a game and write a short story about what the insane frick must have gone down at the meeting where the developers first pitched the title. Exotic shit so gnarly, no-one dares to talk about said event, now that the game's out. It's finally time you came forward and told the world (please keep it in the spirit of light-hearted fun).

Please note: The game you pick to write about and the game(s) you would choose for a possible prize can of course be different.

= Prize =
Enter to possibly win a game (or several games) of your choice up to a total of USD 5 from the GOG catalog. One winner drawn from all entries via random.org.

= Details =
Giveaway will run until sometime on Saturday, July 1st (likely late afternoon EDT). Please allow chat messages to be received from anyone in your account settings for this, so I can get in touch with you.
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Each story posted automatically enters the giveaway. Feel free to write up something, even if you do not want to enter (please state if so). I'm looking forward to your stories (a few sentences suffice; all sizes welcome, all count). And good luck all.

= Giveaway entrants =
LegoDnD, tag+, BranjoHello, servobeupstry, DiffuseReflection, 4thDown, babark, ConsulCaesar, pawel-t, KillingMoon, matterbandit, Provide_A_Username, Wirvington

I'm entering for Kao the Kangaroo Trilogy.

A character designer bursts through his boss's door with disheveled clothes and heavy bruising. He was already going to be late for a pitch meeting and left home this morning without even an idea for their next game. But just his luck, inspiration ambushed him on the way here in the form of a wild kangaroo itching for a fight. However, the designer was able to employ his favorite form of self-defense: this being Australia, he never left home without his boxing gloves and this was his time to shine. He got a few punches in before the kangaroo gave a hard double-kick to the gut and ran off, confident that this was either a victory or further fighting would be more trouble than expected. The designer hobbled another few blocks before scrounging up a sketch so that he won't need to just resign.

But his troubles were far from over. When forced to explain the state of himself, his boss was furious to hear that the employee had hurt his poor innocent pet kangaroo. Suddenly, more than his career was on the line as the boss donned a kangaroo mascot costume and took the designer's boxing gloves. "If you want us to make a game of this character, you're going to beat him bare-handed!" The foamy material of the costume kept absorbing his blows, so the designer became desperate enough to tackle his boss through the window and they landed mascot-first on the boss's car. Designer thought he was going to be fired for demolishing a custom-painted Lamborghini, but the boss knew he had himself to blame for this and swore to accept Kao the Kangaroo as their next video game star.

This is what I'm talking about. I can picture it all: the corporate anxiety, the mayhem, it all makes a lot of sense. It's just the way Kao came into existence as a game, I'm sure. Thanks for sharing what transpired that day. Balls-to-the-wall, real-world demo going on. Who needs safety regulations? The fruit was fine, FINE I say. That navmesh tech over there though, ouch. Well done, cheers for participating.

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Please note: The game you pick to write about and the game(s) you would choose for a possible prize can of course be different.

Random Wednesday in the office of 22cans, some 10 years ago...

Brainstorm meeting at 11AM, most of the team is sipping their coffee still trying to wake up their own consciousness about what the hell are they supposed to do with their lives and why the fuck did they even created/joined this dev team.

11:03AM sharp Peter Molyneux storm the meeting room doors, sense of greatness all over his face as he slowly and cockily approaches his helm of the table chair.

He looks at everybody for about a minute, mystic grin positioned steadily on his mouth.
As it starts to become quite awkward for everybody, George the programmer collects the nerves to speak up:
"Peter, you seem to have something specific on your mind, care to share with the rest of us?!"

"Bloody right I do, dear Georgy" Peter replies and then continues. "We are going to sell something, not to the hungry gamers out there, but to the gaming industry...we're going to sell AN IDEA!"

Mouths opening all around the table, but Sven the art guy is the quickest to ask "What idea?!"

"An idea that you can pull gamers' noses so much that their wallets will open up wide to bless our bank account and all that without actually finishing a game" answers Peter with his hands close together in a Triangle of Power position.

"Never finishing a game, how could that happen?" asks Tim the Excel sheet cruncher.

"We'll just leave it forever in this state the cool kids nowadays call 'Early Access' and in the meanwhile before any of them figure out what's going on, I'll be bullshiting how we are all busy on it, making it the greatest gaming experience known to man, machine and a occasional magical tulip." Boldly but calmly Peter replies.

"That sounds like a highly immoral thing to do, we'd be crucified by the public for pulling of something like that!" cries out George the programmer while others nod their heads in a moderate approval of this shout.

"Immoral, Georgy old sport?" Peter asks, stands up starting to go around the table...
"What about that Thailand harlot who hangs around the Stoke Pub you knocked up, dear Georgy?!"
"What about your last one of too many bad bets on horse racing at William Hill, Timmy my boy...didn't calculate those odds right, haven't you?!"
"What about that dirty graffiti about the queen you made the other night on walls of Guildford Castle, Sven my son?!"
"Are those moral things, gents?!"
Short pause is in place as Peter finishes firing those lines away and then he delivers his final strike on the meeting unwritten agenda:
"Look at us, we're no role models for the society. And this shitty company is most likely to go down in a blink. But it's not going down before we fill in our pockets, and this is the best move we have and you'll all gonna do your part on it before we split."

Others bow their heads down, knowing Peter is right and that they have no other choice really but to comply.

And the rest dear readers, is as many gamers on this planet unfortunately know...history.

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Thanks for the interesting giveaway, chevkoch!
I'd like to enter for Re-Volt, if possible.

Producer Guy: So, you have a new computer game idea for me.
Developer Guy: Yes sir I do, it's called Disco Elysium.
Producer Guy: Oh cool, a dance game! What's it about?
Developer Guy: Well actually, it's an RPG and it's about a a troubled detective who wakes up with amnesia after a wild night of drinking. He's tasked with solving a murder case in a city on the brink of collapse.
Producer Guy: Oh, that sounds like it's gonna be a tough case to crack.
Developer Guy: Nope, super easy, barely an inconvenience actually.
Producer Guy: Oh really?
Developer Guy: Yeah, it just kind of solves itself after a few days, while you're busy turning the cop into a raging communist or fascist or deranged lunatic, whatever. Anyhow, I figured the detective could have different aspects of his personality that constantly talk to him, representing different thoughts and emotions. And these aspects can influence his actions and dialogue choices a lot.
Producer Guy: So, he's talking to himself?
Developer Guy: Exactly! It's like having a conversation with your own mind. It adds depth and complexity to the character and makes the game incredibly immersive.
Producer Guy: Oh wowwowwow. Having conversations with your own mind is tight. But are people are gonna have time to read all that?
Developer Guy: Not really. They'll mostly just skim it and watch highlights on Youtube.
Producer Guy: I like the sound of that. Any big names attached?
Developer Guy: I figured we'd just get a group of Estonian unknowns who have never made a game before in their lives.
Producer Guy: Erm... but... isn't that... you know... a bit risky?
Developer Guy: No, no it'll be fine. I'm sure everyone will get along swimmingly, and there won't be any subsequent drama whatsoever.
Cut to NEWSPAPER HEADLINE: "Disco Elysium lawsuit woes continue!"

(I'm in, thanks!)

I'm in, entering for Everspace. (I would like to add the DLC Everspace: Encounters as well, in case it does not go over the 5 USD limit where you are.)

Picture the scene: "Hey guys, you know Wing Commander?"
"Yeah, it's those games where you play through a movie-like story while flying space combat missions against space cats!"
"Exactly! Well, what if we remove the movie-like story?"
"Huh? So you're just fighting against space cats?"
"Yes! Except we'll remove the space cats too!"
"So you won't fight either?"
"Oh you will. But not against cats."
"That makes sense, 'cause I always wanted to pet them instead."
"Well exactly. So this is better."
"But why do we want to fight, if there's no movie though? Doesn't that just seem grindy?"
"Aha, that's the beauty of it - we'll make the grind the point! It will be like in those online RPGs!"
"What, like EverQuest?"
"... that's a really old game. More like those new RPGs where you die a lot."
"I used to die a lot in EverQuest though."
"... ok sure, like EverQuest then, but... Innn.. Spaaace!"
"Ok, let's make it then! We can call it EverQ... I mean Ever- er... Space!"

Had to read up on Godus, boy what a debacle apparently. Wasn't aware of the story, interesting. Quite wild, a Rock Paper Shotgun interviewer opening with "Do you think that you're a pathological liar?" Maybe Molynex didn't plan on never completing this title, but that is some awful work ethic. Haha, seems it could've easily went that way, right? In reality, quite a messy story. Good thing you remember it all so clearly. Thanks for flexing your funny bones sharing this. Starting with one thing and then ending up somewhere completely different upon pitch completion. I bet a lot of game prototypes were requested in the heat of meetings that experienced that exact same mechanic.

This will be interesting as I'm prone to making wack (though entirely good) game pitch ideas at one of my clients - usually starring them. XD

Not in, but will be watching the output!

chevkoch +1. The lucky #10 participates.

PH0B0S.
—Team, let me share an idea for a game. Two tasks for you:
• Eat this mushrooms.
• Take a gun.

I see we had the same thought when reading the initial post :D

Michal Ancel: Hey! I have this idea for a great adventure game with...
Ubisoft Upper Management: Woah, woah, woah! What is this, 1995? Nobody makes adventure games anymore! Do you shoot anyone in this game?
Michal: Well, I did have this minigame where the character shoots animals...
UUM: Animals? That's a bit weird. Is this a kid's game? Why aren't we shooting humans?
Michal: It's an alien planet. There are loads of aliens and government goons in armour, but not a lot of humans otherwise. Besides, you'd be shooting the animals with a camera.
UUM: That's preposterous. Give the hero a stick to hit baddies with. And put in stealth mechanics! Those are big these days.
Michal: (starts seething)...fine. Stealth section where Jade runs and hides.
UUM: What was that?! Jade? Isn't that a woman's name?
Michal: Errr...the protagonist of the game is a woman.
UUM: WHAT? Nobody wants to play as a woman. You're lucky you're friends with Yves. Fine, we'll agree to that, but only if the game is constantly focusing on her ass.
Michal: (seeing red now)..it IS 3rd person, so I suppose it isn't so hard to do that. Can I at least get this awesome composer for the music? He's Christophe Heral...
UUM: Yeah, yeah fine, whatever. Since this game is going to be trash and we're only doing it as a favour to you since you're such good friends with Yves, we'll plan the release soon after are ACTUAL real blockbuster Prince of Persia Game
Michal: (explodes in anger all over his dev team)

Thanks for the giveaway!

Thank you for the giveaway, I'd like to be in for *to be determined*. Always funny to see inventive contests.

I will imagine a pitch for Grim Fandango.

"And for our next graphical adventure, we have a game that will revolutionize the genre. The main character is a reaper skeleton".

"Halloween is overdone".

"This is based of the Mexican Día de los Muertos, it's a culture that has barely been represented"...

"So does he have a funny sombrero?"

"No, but he carries a scythe right next where his heart used to be. What's important is that it takes inspiration from rich culture, music and folklore".

"Who is the love interest?"

"Why there has to be a love interest? Well, there is one, but technically they are all dead and have different goals. She's not your typical damsel in distress..."

"Then what's the motivation of the story?"

"Uncover this conspiracy in the Land of the Dead that has undertaken the company that the main character has been working for since he died..."

"Are you implying something about this company?"

Awkward silence

"Anyway, you said that this would revolutionize the genre"

"¡Viva la Revolución!"

"What was that?"

Awkward silence

"What makes this game different from our previous games?"

"The interface will disappear in a conscious creative decision to..."

"But how do you play a point-and-click game without pointing and clicking?"

"The character reacts to objects in the environment..."

"I think I've heard enough"

"There's a yellow demon that says vroom vroom".

"Sold! We can always solve the interface issue in the future with a remaster".

I mean, you could write something up for fun. I recall in the older days you running through the forum covered in choco, asking people to lick... How's that for a writing prompt, haha. Thanks for stopping by.
Fungus and a weapon in the room will convince pretty much anyone of anything.
Hahaha, that's how I see these executives talking too. I now wonder if there's a value like bumzoom=true in the config.
I like the idea of devs pitching something that carries a lot of subversive hidden stuff that pokes fun at the publishers. Wonder how often that's happening for real.

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Wow, lots of fantastic entries! Keep it coming.

Alright, about touch... an incidental shows up
Urban legend says Billy G himself organized a brainstorming meeting
on their HQ to decide the next Windows version features

It was a wild night! to name a few:
-A Celine Dion concert
-A minesweeper LAN party(?!)
-A collective read-aloud of the "Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story" memoirs
starring Bono on the initial turn of course!
-A guided tour to The Hall of Tortured Souls
-A spaghetti Basic coding contest. GOTO, GOTO, GOTO!!
-The "Embrace, extend & extinguish" playground game
-The Teletubbies hosted the whole event

Its not a surprise everyone got embarrasingly drunk
with the nonstop flood of Diet cokes
& such list of activities...

Ohh... I forgot: That was THE meeting where
the mythical beloved Win8 start menu born
writting its entry to the history books
That highly motivated team touched the future that night!

And the result wasn't something unexpected:
Years back an alike meeting happened and they introduced
the magnificent "Ribbon menu"!

Beat that people! :)

Nah my pimp would go crazy! ;D