(70) Beatbox Grandma, the geriatric fugitive, watches a Rock Monster walking back to its seat and projects deep thumping sounds to accompany each step. The Monster stops repeatedly and looks at its feet in confusion, irritation growing. As it takes its seat, BB Granny (she adopted the nickname from an adorable kitten she saw) makes the sound of a loud fart and the Rock Monster blushes deeply as everyone looks at him.
She cackles manically as she heads towards Mr Whuffles.

(29) Doctor Otto Altenhof is a clown that has assumed the identity of a doctor (recently deceased). He sizes up the crowd for potential 'patients' on his way to his car Snookums.
Reaching into his pockets, he pulls out a pair of eyes with one hand and what appears to be someone's vocal chords with the other.
Holding the eyes up in the air he points them at a voluptuous woman with a glum expression and says "Look, that woman appears to lack joy. An appointment must be made so that I can get to the very core of the problem and release her inner happiness... literally!" He bursts out laughing.
Turning to the vocal chords, he asks "What say you? Nothing? We are all in agreement then!" and he laughs some more.

Mr Whuffles bumper turns into a big grin as BB Granny makes his engine noise sound like that of a Formula One car. Two familiar faces drop from above and she climbs onto the roof of the car, complaining about her hip as she goes.
BoomBox Kitty and Gobbo the rapper wear confused looks as they find themselves being juggled by an aged, human beatbox. BB Kitty is the first to get the rhythm and strikes up a beat of his own to compliment his elderly counterpart.
Gobbo bobs his head along to the music before breaking into rap -
"My body be dropping, my head be popping
this Grandma is leet, with her funky, old beat.
BB Kitty by her side, he's the cats whiskers
A triple act of funk we be, taking this beat to another level."
Beatbox Grandma has a big toothless grin on her face as she makes her way back to her seat.

Doctor Otto Altenhof is driving when the sky opens up above him and three strange looking clowns descend. He climbs onto the car roof while musing "What an interesting development."
He greets them as he prepares for the juggling part with "Welcome, I am clow... I mean Dr Otto. I am here to help find your inner joy."
Two of them look more like aliens in clown makeup with over sized limbs and big pointy teeth. The third turns to him and says "Excuse me, sir. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "You DO? Well, you better let the poor guy out! A-ha! A-ha! A-ha!"
Otto feels a sense of dread.
The third clown "BEEP, BEEP Otto!" He closes in with the two Killer Klowns From Outer Space!
Otto screams as he is dissected and Snookums honks in disapproval at all the blood and gore dripping down his paintwork.
Doctor Otto Altenhof finds himself returned whole to his seat and says "Well, that was an experience. Now where is that joyless woman I spotted earlier?"

A figure steps out from the crowd completely unnoticed by those around him. (20) Radaggarb the White-Collar Worker calmly walks to Snookums and gets in. Snookums honks in alarm having not seen the unremarkable man approach.

(87) Sawyer leaves his lawyers briefcase under his seat and steps out to his new life as a clown. He turns to the crowd, clears his throat and tells them a joke.
"Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread."

Most of the crowd laughs except a family of sheep in the back of the tent who cover their little lambs ears.

Radaggarb and Sawyer drive their cars side by side. Three drunken and rowdy Irishmen fall from the sky and the two clowns climb onto their car roofs to juggle them as a team.
Radaggarb starts talking to the drunks about the importance of an undercoat to prepare an even surface for painting and they start to dose off.
Sawyer interrupts with a joke -
"Jack and Jill.
Went up the hill.
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill.
And now there's little Franky."

The three men come awake again laughing and swinging fists at each other.
Radaggarb changes the topic onto life insurance, droning on and on and everyone starts falling to sleep again.
Sawyer shakes himself awake and fights back with another joke -
"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear, isn’t that neat!" but it is too late as the three drunks are fast asleep. Sawyer feels his own eyes close and is soon being juggled by an unremarkable man with a boring voice.

Your entire segment on Doctor Otto Altenhof; him speaking to someone's severed vocal chords which he held in his hand; his demise with the two Killer Klowns From Outer Space... Brilliant writing! :) I loved it!

Writing that would make Clive Barker blush with envy. LOL!

The audience quietens as a multitude of eyes mingle with them judging them on behalf of (79) Voido, an eldritch monstrosity and one time true ruler of the universe (or so they claim, a certain shadowy figure tells a different story).
Taking the form of a flying portal sprouting many tentacles, he lands on Mr Whuffles roof and sends a couple of tentacles snaking inside to control the driving.

Oinking happily, (16) Kabanchik bounce around the tent reading random beings minds. A couple of eyes fly over to assess him but the little piggy simply chows down on them and carries on his merry way.
His little legs take him racing over to Snookums where he jumps in with a loud 'Oink!'

Voido notices a split in space open up and is overcome with feelings of both fear and anger as three Tickle Monsters descend towards him. The ancient creatures have long arms that have feathers on the end instead of fingers. A multi coloured feather duster adorns their face where a nose should be.
Seething with anger, he sets about juggling his old foes as honour dictates he must. Their constant droning of "Tickletickletickletickle..." really grates on his nerves and he has to repeatedly swat away reaching arms that are looking to tickle his tentacles.
Suddenly, one of the monsters dives headfirst into the mass of tentacles, shaking his head frantically so that his feather duster tickles as many tentacles as possible.
The crowd screams with many wetting themselves as a huge, teeth-filled maw bursts forth from the portal and rends the Tickle Monsters to bloody shreds.
All goes quiet as Voido is ready to smite any that anger him. One sound can be heard over the weeping and rapid breathing and that is a throaty laugh emanating from a shadowy alcove.

Kabanchik ignores the hubub coming from the tentacle thing and all its drama. He slams his trotters down on the accelerator and lets out a happy "Oiiiinnnnkkkkk!!!" (pig for Wwwweeeeeee!!!!!) as Snookums tears around the tent.
Two other pigs fall from the sky and Kabanchik clambers up to meet them. He reads their minds, the first pig is thinking 'potato' and the second is thinking 'mud'.
Kabanchik mulls this over in his ever happy mind and comes to the conclusion that he too likes potato's and mud!
All three pigs juggle each other as a joyous, oinking trio.

Well, it warned us didn't it? One does not simply tickle an Eldritch Being.

-Hey pig, you seem fun to be around, you wanna play a game? I'll flip a coin. Heads, you read the mind of the shadowy figure. Tails, you read the mind of Voido. Make them tell the truth like you say you can, who was the ruler of the universe?

With the cries of children, adults, and sentient cars in the background, Voido returns to their viewing spot, the first event if the competition leaving them visibly irradiating anger. If this was the mortal's idea of comedy, then Voido was most certainly not amused by it!

Then again... the acts that the cosmic monstrosity found mildly amusing so far were the ones where great misfortune befell the participants... So surely it was not fair to judge the mortals for exposing them to the same misfortune that the other clowns went through. After all, it was part of the test, wasn't it?

The amalgam of Eldritch entities known as Voido were confused by this newfound sensation... What was it that the mortals called this one... Hypocrisy, wasn't it? The Eldritch being would reflect deeply on this development.

Suddenly, Voido turned their attention towards their partner Kabanchik, who was just sitting there, staring at them with a smile on his face.

"And what are you staring at, mortal!?", said Voido.

The pig didn't respond. Once again, whatever it was because it wasn't intimidated by Voido's declaration, or because he just couldn't tell what they were saying was a complete mystery.

(75) Clownbot has left his usual domain of cyberspace and manifested himself in physical form. He beeps in irritation when he notices that his digital pies remain just that, digital. He trundles towards Snookums.

(84) an encyclopedia dives from the top of the tent, thinking to brain his opponent and get an easy win by default. He crashes off Clownbot's head and lands on the ground, cackling evilly. His laughter stops abruptly when Clownbot just looks at him, says "beep" and carries on on his way.
An encyclopedia grumbles about robots and their non-squishy heads as he makes his way to the waiting Mr Whuffles.

Clownbot stands by Snookums, sparks flying as his head spins around repeatedly. In his mind he has just brought his digital pies into the physical realm but in reality, he has created heavy slabs of metal.
Clownbot starts slinging these 'pies' into the screaming audience, thinking himself being amusing. Several beings in the crowd are crushed or decapitated by the barrage and the men in plate armour are forced to return with their brooms, shooing the malfunctioning robot away until his short circuit can be fixed.

An encyclopedia chuckles as he drives away in his car, knowing that it was his attack that caused the stupid robot to malfunction.
Four green, overweight humanoids in jogging gear, two male and two female, drop from above. An encyclopedia knows that he has to box clever in order to juggle them as he lacks the physical attributes to do it himself.
As they near his car, he bestows 'knowledge' upon them that in order to lose weight, they need to juggle each other while keeping pace with this car.
His plan works but an encyclopedia gets bored and decides to speed things up a bit. The next nugget of knowledge that he imprints on their minds is that the best way to get in shape is to eat your jogging buddies, absorbing their fat-reducing nutrients.
The juggling turns into a free-for-all with purple blood and body parts flying everywhere. Eventually just one of the green humanoids remains, albeit minus an arm and a leg.
An encyclopedia laughs before killing it with dozens of paper cuts.

For centuries, so many scholars and necromancers have searched for the Necronomicon, but this insidious book was able to deceive everyone by pretending to be other books. Apparently it's been hiding lately disguised as an encyclopedia...

TBH getting a bit impatient.
Can I start building the shed for one of your recent acquisitions? Stourhead was it?

Hope you won't mind, Doc, but I'd like to address the possible end date of this event, mainly because of the people who are participating in Secret Santa event to know what to put on their wishlist.

Taking in account the current pace of the event, that Christmas is coming in little over 2 weeks and the fact that we're barely at the end of the 1st out of 5 contest categories, I feel it's safe to say that this event won't finish anytime before the end of January 2024. Are my ETA presumptions correct here?

That being asked, please don't feel like I'm saying you should rush it or anything, quite the contrary. There are a lot of entrants and you're doing an incredible job solo-organizing this and proving the crowd with some excellent writing while at it. That takes time which is perfectly fine and I strongly feel that all of us involved in the event should be aware of that and respect your efforts.

It's done when it's done. :-D

The other rounds will all be a lot quicker but it will carry on past Christmas. If there is a game you want from Secret Santa or the Xmas sale then go get it, don't bank on the ones in this giveaway, just think of them as a bonus at the end.

(50) Subject 36 garrottes a fat man for breathing heavily then calmly turns to the crowd and tells a joke - "What has two butts and kills people ?" "An assassin".
He walks purposefully towards Mr Whuffles and everyone clears a path for him.

A strange sight is our next contender. Wearing lime green trousers, a garish purple shirt and with a top hat that completely covers his face from the nose up (thus rendering him blind) is (62) El Ingenioso Don Sombrero Tenebroso.
El Ingenioso use his echolocation to pick a path towards Snookums. A n oversized possum bumps into him and says "Watch where you are going!"
El Ingenioso sniffles "I wish that I could".

Subject 36 drives and sees three corrupt politicians fall from the sky, slapping each others backs and agreeing ways to screw over the little guys.
He climbs to meet them and starts to juggle them with ease with his android strength. A metal flower sprouts from his chest and squirts them with water as a normal clowns flower would do. Subject 36's arms then turn into metal spikes which he uses to pierce the necks of the politicians as his assassin programming temporarily takes over.
He lets the bodies hit the ground with a shrug and continues on his way.

El Ingenioso uses his heightened senses to drive straight and hears oinks from above. A happy pig contestant and his two piggy pals fall to be expertly caught mid-air by the man in a hat, in spite of his lack of sight.
He juggles them with ease and smiles at their joyous little oinks each time they get sent flying up again. He curses his superior smell though, as each time they come back down they let out a little piggy parp.

That was quite the rapper's ensemble. You got me laughing with the tune Doc, but also with the jokes of Sawyer, and the uttered jabs of Quentin Verbose. I don't know how you're going to make it until or beyond Christmas with an unmelted brain, but thanks for the entertainment nonetheless (the trauma is definitely worth it). I'm really looking forward to continue reading the creative descriptions, jokes, and rhymes. They're awesome, keep them coming.