Expedition day: II.

Good adventurers don't forget things easily, good or bad, lest the dangers of a forgotten past carry onto their futures. I am no adventurer, but how could I ever forget the source of these tears? Whatever pride I had left when I entered this cavern, I keep none of it for the path ahead. Alas, I am truly undeserving of the Wormfeedersehen name; I have nothing left save for the promise of a restored scalp or the hope for a quick death.

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Expedition day: III.

The Elixir of Youth appears to be within reach but I am reluctant. I am found amongst fellow adventurers with whom I have shared my story; they, in turn, have reciprocated with theirs. And although I have never been one to shy away from a hairy situation, what we have left behind points at whatever lies ahead being nothing short of a daunting prospect and possibly, an almost certain doom.

The path opened up several options, the descent towards the altar grounds may proof tricky but the rope bridge seems to be the most logical choice; that is, unless its builders have an inhuman dedication towards their sense of humor.

Let me state that I possess no ill intent towards the natives of this underland, but should I make it to the Elixir alive, I will have to disguise my baldness by rolling my whip around my head and adding a few vine strands on top for decorative purposes. After all, how could there possibly be any balding person amongst the keepers of the ultimate cure?

Keeping in mind the path drawn by the stream as a possibility for an escape route, I shall attempt establishing communication. For all I know, these peoples could all be a bunch of scholars. Should this effort proof to be futile, I will try to make good use of my costume, adopt a prophetic demeanour, and submerge my much beloved gathered hair strands into each of the three bottles. Let my past youth reveal the path to my future one.

P.S: I leave this note atop of the waterfall for anyone willing to bear witness to the result of my conjectures. If I really am at my death's door, please know that I have no regrets, for in death I will finally be able to wipe away my sorrows.

Cameron The Coward sighs in relief. He knew it was only the first level, but if those giant hairy spiders couldn't stop him, nothing can! Right? Right?

He looks ahead towards the cavern. Perhaps this was where the fabled Elixir of Youth was? "Too easy", he thought. Grabbing the slightly broken wooden pole, he walked into the cavern.

He stood weakly next to his companions - Noremac The Brave and a mysterious shadow of a man with a Texan accent. He doesn't like it, but they call him Matthew.

They see the rope bridge. "No way we're taking that.", said Cameron. "Onward!" said Noremac, at the same time. But Matthew stood there, brooding, almost as if he hadn't realised they were close to the end of their quest.

All of a sudden, Matthew grabbed Cameron's whip and tied it to the vine. He pushed Cameron onto the bridge, and he got across. It was unlikely that the bridge would have fallen, Cameron was a skinny being.

The Guinea Pygmies become aware of his presence. Living in such a dangerous place must have sharpened their alertness. Quickly, Matthew tells Noremac to use the whip to swing below. Noremac had some doubts, but he decided to do it, for he was Noremac The Brave, after all. As he swung below the whip had come loose from the vine. Simultaneously, Matthew whipped out a revolver he had likely stolen from me earlier, and shot a round into the air, just as one of the pygmies tried to attack Cameron with a slingshot. The Guinea Pygmies disperse, one getting kicked in the face by Noremac.

Cameron had gotten hit in the knee by one of the pygmies with a rock from their slingshot, and Noremac helped him up. The trio walked towards the cloaked figure kneeling at the altar, and confronted them from behind, well not quite "confronted", but that was of no importance, for Cameron knew this wasn't the end of his troubles...

Thanks for reminding.
I had forgotten to do this.

Lucky, after recovering from that belly drop and the snake in his hands, decides to advance along the path towards the rope bridge. He lets some adventurers go in front of her in case someone attacks. That way he has time to quickly decide what to do in case of danger.
His plan is to reach the man-made hole to the left of the altar. Because he thinks that there might be something valuable and perhaps undervalued by everyone.

...a window on a wall of the cave, slightly ajar, and hear some clicking noises and the Disney movie intro. As Porkus peers into through the window, he sees a group of spiders in a classroom crowded around a vertical Smartboard, beginning to watch A Bug's Life. He's never seen a Bug's Life. And so, he decides to melt his body into a puddle and creep into the room to watch some spiders watch some bugs. The movie is almost finished, it's the scene where it begins raining all over them bugs, and weirdly enough he feels droplets hitting him in real life. He is impressed, muttering to himself about how amazing Smartboards are, when a huge raindrop flies from the screen and knocks him out. He wakes up to find the spiders all crowded around his now pig body, and is horrified to see that the amazing vertical Smartboard was just a group of half alive half dead insects webbed up being gorged upon these spiders, and there was never any rain, just guts.

Is he still trippin? Find out next time on a Pig's Life.

Sorry y'all i think my creative juices were flowing better the first time around.

Truckstop Jones takes a running leap at the vines trying to swing over to the altar to grab one of the bottles and swing back to safety before any of the natives realize what's happened.

A dice roll of 10 or higher is required to grab the Elixir of Youth and escape the cavern.

1 - Martin McSquabblegold (Enebias) rolls 5 + 5 = 10
You wrap your whip around one of the vines, checking to make sure there isn't a toothy maw at the top of it. You shimmy down before dropping in front of the cloaked figure. The Pygmies stop dancing and turn to face you as one as they await instructions from the cloaked figure whether to attack you or not.
The cloaked figure raises his head to look at you. It is the face of an elderly Chinese gentleman who smiles and motions for you to take a bottle from the altar. The bottles swap colours with each other as you tentatively reach for the middle one. You grab it as it changes back to gold in colour and run for the rope bridge leading into a dark tunnel before the Pygmies can react.
Congratulations you have escaped with the Elixir of Youth.

2 - François de Loire (Lone_Scout) rolls 3 + 3 = 6
Having seen McSquabblegold safely escape by climbing down one of the vines you decide to do the same. First you shoot into the air before shoving the closest adventurer onto the rope bridge to distract any nasties that may be nearby.
You grab a vine and prepare to descend when you hear a rapid scurrying sound from above. Panicking, you look up to see a bloody-mouthed Guinea Pig bearing down on you.
You fall from the vine screaming with the rodent attached to your face into the manmade hole by the altar.
Your quest has failed.

3 - Fish Cavendish the Unlucky (Genocide2099) rolls 4 + 2 = 6
Taking advantage of the chaos caused by Frenchies demise, you put your gun to Albrrt MacGuffin's head and force him onto the bridge. He starts to laugh manically and before you can tell him to shutup, he reaches back and grabs you by the balls squeezing hard enough to make your eyes water.
You wheeze "you dirty son of a..." when his other arm swings back to elbow you in the side of the head, sending you toppling of the rope bridge to bounce of the rocky outcropping below and to your doom.
Your quest has failed.

4 - Cole "The Cliffjumper" Jensen (bluethief) rolls 6 + 3 = 9
Having been pushed onto the bridge by François you watch him plummet to his doom, observing the bottles on the altar as you do. You retrieve the green bottle that you was given by an elder years ago and hold it aloft as you walk forward.
Several torches held by adventurers stood at the rim of the waterfall reflect off your bottle causing alarm among the Pygmies below. A barrage of spears fly up to pepper your body knocking you off the bridge to crash to the ground below, quite dead.
Your quest has failed.

5 - "Truckstop" Smith (muddysneakers) rolls 2 + 2 = 4
You spit on the ground before taking a run and jump for one of the hanging vines. As you reach out for the dangling vegetation, dozens of bats swarm around your head causing you to miss completely and fall to your death.
Your quest has failed.

6 - Oddy Oddborn (Oddeus) rolls 6 + 4 = 10
With so many phobias being triggered you grab the nearest vine, close your eyes, and slide down to be greeted by the cloaked figure and his Pygmy cohorts. You pull your revolver out with your shaking hand and reach for what you believe to be the red bottle (it changes to gold as you grab it).
You attempt to empty your three bullets into the cloaked Chinaman but your hand is shaking so much that you miss badly.
Panicking, you scream and run across the rope bridge into a dark tunnel.
Congratulations you have escaped with the Elixir of Youth.

My balls!

OOOOWWW that was close!
And overall weird. After all, isn't weirdness the spice of life?

Delaware Thompson looked around at her fellow adventurers. "Didn't realize I'd have this much company" she thought. "I don't think there is any chance those pygmies haven't noticed us." So why were they continuing to dance instead of taking defensive positions, hiding or attacking? "It must be a test - they must have allowed us in" she surmised. A test, or a trap.

"The bridge looks too easy, probably rigged to fall. The same goes for the other bridge out. The hooded figure is likely a decoy - and so are the three bottles. Blue, red, gold - bright colors all, but do any of them symbolize youth? Blue is an evening color, gold and red are for ripening fruit - but where is green?" she muttered.

If they are all decoys, the real elixir would be nearby, but hidden. She looked at the pygmy throwing trash down a hole. Did he look just a little bit younger than the rest? Perhaps he is the real leader, or at least an appointed guardian of the elixir.

So maybe the real elixir is hidden there. Or maybe it's a snake or something. She planned to find out: she would use her whip to grab one of the vines, land behind the pygmy near the hole, reach into it to grab the elixir, and then leap down into the water to exit via that tunnel.

Unbelievable, once again Oddy Oddborn has proven beyond doubt, that fortune favors fools. Of course, this was the main reason for this expedition. And now that he will stay forever young, he has enough time to embellish the story and retell it to his colleagues on and on.

The End

P.S.: Glad, that the Chinese cloak guy used his bullettime skills to dodge the precisely aimed revolver bullets!

"Mon Dieu! C'est ne pas p..." SPLATCH!!!

No one will miss the poor François...

This seems to be incredibly fun, I have just randomly discovered this! I guess I'vee been too bisy with my first Forum Mafia to notice! Good luck to the champions and thanks to Doc for the ga and the adventure!

A dice roll of 10 or higher is required to grab the Elixir of Youth and escape the cavern.

7 - Porkus Tallowsum (pkk234) rolls 4 + 6 = 10
While experiencing a bad trip from the hallucinogenic mushrooms you ate you step off the rope bridge and land on top of a pygmy by the altar. Absentmindedly you grab a (golden) bottle and wander down the next bridge and out through a dark tunnel, all the while your trousers are still down by your ankles.
Congratulations you have escaped with the Elixir of Youth.

8 - Afraid OfRollingBoulders (TT_TT_TT_TT) rolls 2 + 2 = 4
You cautiously make your way down the rope bridge to where the Pygmies are dancing. You decide to join in with them and soon find yourself bopping along to the beat of the drums and pan flutes. Getting carried away, you grab a bottle (blue) and take a swig.
Your vision goes blurry and you scream out as your body transforms into that of a giant turkey. The Pygmies are now dancing closely around you and carry you off to a stew pot once your transformation is complete.
You were delicious.
Your quest has failed.

9 - Jack London (tag+) rolls 2 + 1 = 3
Much to the bemusement of your fellow adventurers, you strip naked before making your way down to the altar. You approach the cloaked figure being careful not to tread on the body of a crushed Pygmy that Porkus fell on.
You take a (red) bottle and attempt to smear its contents on the elderly Chinaman's face.
As your fingers get close, he grins broadly showing his sharp, filed teeth. He grabs your hand and starts devouring it.
You stand in shock as several of the Pygmies rip off their masks to reveal that they have faces of Guinea Pigs underneath. They swarm you and you are eaten alive.
Your quest has failed.

10 - Celeste the cat (drxenija) rolls 6 + 5 = 11
You jump on the back of a large bat and swoop down towards the alter. You feel sorry for the guy being torn apart but decide it is too late to save him and take advantage of the distraction by grabbing the golden bottle.
You then fly across the rope bridge into the dark tunnel while dreaming of an eternity of playing with yarn balls.
Congratulations you have escaped with the Elixir of Youth.

11 - Cameron the Coward (slurredprey) rolls 5 + 3 = 8
Breathing heavily and looking around nervously for giant spiders, you tentatively step onto the rope bridge alongside your two imaginary friends.
A large bat being ridden by a cat bumps into you as it flies past knocking you off the bridge. The cat meows its apologies as you plummet past the altar and down a manmade hole to land on a large pile of rubbish.
A Guinea Pig has just finished its bloody meal and looks up at you with murder in its eyes.
Your quest has failed.

12 - The Harbinger of Doom (JakobFel) rolls 1 + 5 = 6
You make your way down past the altar and towards the rope bridge leading towards a dark tunnel. As you approach the bridge you inadvertently kick a small rock out of the way. A trapdoor opens beneath you and you fall to your doom into a spike pit.
Your quest has failed.

Some of these made me lol! XD