Wrong, daughter... I changed my title some time ago, while finding out about the ultimate secret that could conquer the entire world and was unfortunately banned instead, sealed away.

Next user is a martial artist.

Wrong, but I've beaten plenty.

Next person is a wibbly wobbly penis tentacled rubber penis monster froma banned B_movie.

Nope, not holding a banana and not chasing after anyone.

Next user's username consists of alternating capital and lowercase letters and ends with a prime number.

Nope

Next user likes physics ;)

I do like physics, but me is a dumb and not understand too good =(

The next person is over 35.

Ri... Wrong. I am exactly 35 years old. So right if you meant x>=35 and wrong if you meant x>35

Next person likes games that S/he can play with one hand and beer on the other hand.

Nope. I prefer to play sober.

Next person has a pet lizard.

nope. they're cute though.

next person has a cucumber in his pants.

Incorrect. I have three cucumbers in my pants. Also, a pineapple.

The next person as over 200 Facebook friends.

Wrong, I keep it below 150 at any given point in time,

The next person plays the witcher 3 more than watching television

Nope, I do both the same amount, which happens to be 0 in both cases. (I don't even *have* The Witcher 3 on my gog.com account.)

The next person has used cygwin.

No. Pirated windows, since forever!

Next person is scammer! :P

Nope. (Also, you do realize that cygwin runs under windows, right?)

Next person is 65 or older.

Yes - and I'm proud of it ;)

The next person is living in Australia.