I have several games with achievements, but none appear or get unlocked!
Where can you even see them? I checked every screen in Galaxy, and
not one shows locked/earned achievements. Only place that even mentions
them has it greyed out as an option. Am I crazy?

Achievements do work... make sure your online and only launch games via the green play button in Galaxy. Which games by the way?

Achievement lists should be under 'My Activity'.

I see, so many ones, like Fez, that do have achievements, don't have them working yet. Ok, from my understanding, all games that have Steam achievements have them already on Galaxy, so trying Fez, I was convinced something was very wrong.

I'm not sure I'd call it "very small". List of games with achievements, according to GOG:
[url=http://www.an-ovel.com/cgi-bin/magog.cgi?ver=714&scp=gdspuri&dsp=im&ord=&flt=man~a~&opt=n]http://www.an-ovel.com/cgi-bin/magog.cgi?ver=714&scp=gdspuri&dsp=im&ord=&flt=man~a~&opt=n[/url]

Holy shit, that Bloodrayne has Achievement. I should play it.

Looks like GOG forgot to list achievements as a feature for Crypt of the Necrodancer. Unless something has changed, you don't even need Galaxy to be running to unlock achievements. I never play games with it running, yet I have achievements for several games. I wouldn't be surprised if you could unlock achievements without having the client installed at all, actually, since it all seems to be handled by files installed with the games.

Witcher 3 and Renowned Explorers have achievements for example in Galaxy, it's a WIP if I reckon correctly, so only some games support them.

Maybe someone smarter can tell if the achievements are done by the game devs, or GOG will make them by themselves for older games in the future?

Interesting, the list of games supporting GOG achievements is larger than I expected. Still only 4.4% of the entire catalogue though which is pretty small. Any new features for games including the possibility of achievements is something that must be done by the game developers themselves.

Well, Fez def had them on Steam, so it should be easy enough to transfer them.
As for old games getting achievements, that could/would be a MAJOR selling
point for GoG games!!!! Think of it, Lands of Lore w/ achievements!!! The Quest
for Glory games!!! Cannon Fodder!!! It's crazy!!

I'll have to say, i think achievements are a waste of time... I really don't need another system that insists on keeping track if i've picked 100 berries and deserve an 'achievement', or beat a level without getting scratched, or managed to create the super duper slinky shooter from using only napkins and old RC cars...

I dont mind if they remove achievements entirely (how many actually like and/or even want them?) and concentrated on getting Galaxy right..

It bears keeping in mind that most of GOG's library predates achievements. Don't get me wrong, if you looked up the percentage of games with Steam Achievements that don't have GOG achievements, I'm sure it wouldn't be very reassuring either, but I don't think we can blame Zork and Sword of the Samurai for not having any.

Unless you did do some sort of math on that, in which case yeah, that's not very impressive yet.