Unfortunately, due to a quirk of English, it means you can be easily set on fire; therefore, you burn up.

Fortunately, it only gave me a nice tan.

Unfortunately, it seems the definition of "nice tan" was somehow changed to "burnt to a crisp".

(By the way, did you know that "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing?)

Fortunately, it is no longer cold in here.

Unfortunately, by "no longer cold", it seems you mean a temperature of -108 C (as opposed to, say, -270 C).

Fortunately, I have a flamethrower right here with me.

Unfortunately, the flamethrower has been cursed; if a man tries to use it, he will burn himself instead of the intended target.

Fortunately, snowkatt would be very pleased.

Unfortunately, snowkatt has never ever had a participation in this thread... will she break the ice posting soon?

Fortunately,snowwat con't weed or rigt sow we arr lukky she/it/him con't poost a comet.Ooooh and it con't spel ither.

Fortunately, I can translate authentic frontier gibberish, unfortunately, I don't have another beer to give him.

Fortunately, he doesn't need another beer.

Unfortunately, some don't need any beer to write like that...

Fortunately, a rift just occurred, causing everyone who downrepped any of my posts in this topic to be eradicated, exiled, and removed from the exiled zone to the really exiled zone. Furthermore, from there, they were removed from the game, and further removed from the "removed from the game" zone.